Blogs


Notices

New developments: remind me to stay on my side of the street

Old 11-01-2014, 05:18 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
redatlanta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Liza maybe the best strategy for this meeting would be to say nothing no matter what he says. Take some notes, and responses like "let me think about it" work well. I'd just try my best not to engage with him and not to get reeled into an argument. If he asks what you want "not sure thinking about it" may work.
redatlanta is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to redatlanta For This Useful Post:
ladyscribbler (11-01-2014), lizatola (11-01-2014), Thumper (11-01-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 05:35 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
MissFixit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
That's great. When I saw it, I immediately wanted it. However, I have a ton of everyday china and limited space. I cant justify starting another pattern or collection now, but I really want the Polish pottery when the time comes.

Envious!
MissFixit is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MissFixit For This Useful Post:
ladyscribbler (11-01-2014), lizatola (11-01-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 08:58 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lizatola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by redatlanta View Post
Liza maybe the best strategy for this meeting would be to say nothing no matter what he says. Take some notes, and responses like "let me think about it" work well. I'd just try my best not to engage with him and not to get reeled into an argument. If he asks what you want "not sure thinking about it" may work.
LOL, I responded with that to one of the recent emails he sent and his response back was, "Not sure there's much to think about here, Liz." He has a response for EVERYTHING! So, I guess that means I'm not allowed to take time to THINK about much of anything. Drives me up a tree!

Those will still be my go to answers as will, "That's an interesting proposition. Let me take some notes down and I'll get back to you." I'm definitely not going to be doing much talking.


As an aside: last night I texted my neighbor, I used to go to Bible study at their home, and had left a packet of document copies with them a year ago (just for my safe keeping). She had them in her safe. Well, her text to me yesterday was, "Oh, S and I are getting a divorce. Should be final in a few days. I'm moving out tomorrow! I have your packet so you can come get it today or tomorrow."

Wow! I was blown away. I knew they had had problems in the past but I had just seen her a few months ago and she didn't say a thing about this. So, I'm now headed over there to help her move and to pick up my docs. I swore I would have been done by now in my own marriage. I feel like I should have reached out more to her but our schedules just never seemed to work together and we rarely ran into each other in the neighborhood.
lizatola is offline  
Old 11-01-2014, 09:01 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lizatola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
That's great. When I saw it, I immediately wanted it. However, I have a ton of everyday china and limited space. I cant justify starting another pattern or collection now, but I really want the Polish pottery when the time comes.

Envious!
There's a website, type a search for polmedia polish pottery, where they sell a lot of pieces at decent discounts. My mom has plates, bowls, spoons, cups, serving bowls, etc. I have 2 bowls, 4 mugs (the bubble mugs are my favorites), a large fruit bowl, and a tiny teaspoon. That's it. I can't afford the plates unless they are a gift so I tell my family that's on my list. With my impending divorce, though, I think my Christmas list will be more practical this year. Who knows, I might need to buy a new vacuum or a new set of flatware?
lizatola is offline  
Old 11-01-2014, 09:46 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Thumper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,444
Polish pottery is my favorite too. I don't have any but I look at it on-line a lot, lol. Maybe someday.

I had a work friend get divorced once that totally blew me out of the water. I had no idea. It is kind of a weird feeling!

Hope the discussion goes smoothly this weekend.
Thumper is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Thumper For This Useful Post:
Florence (11-03-2014), lizatola (11-01-2014), MissFixit (11-01-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 09:52 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
HopefulinFLA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
I just Googled Polish pottery and WOW! Thus stuff is gorgeous. Might have to start my own collection. Love it.
HopefulinFLA is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to HopefulinFLA For This Useful Post:
lizatola (11-01-2014), MissFixit (11-01-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 10:05 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
MissFixit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by lizatola View Post
There's a website, type a search for polmedia polish pottery, where they sell a lot of pieces at decent discounts. My mom has plates, bowls, spoons, cups, serving bowls, etc. I have 2 bowls, 4 mugs (the bubble mugs are my favorites), a large fruit bowl, and a tiny teaspoon. That's it. I can't afford the plates unless they are a gift so I tell my family that's on my list. With my impending divorce, though, I think my Christmas list will be more practical this year. Who knows, I might need to buy a new vacuum or a new set of flatware?
I have the Dyson Slim upright. I love it, but I am not sure it was worth the price. A friend got a Shark over the summer after she decided her Dyson was too heavy and gave it away. THe Sharks are less than half the price of a Dyson and go on sale during the long holiday weekends at most places. NExt time I'm getting a Shark, FYI.

Check out Ebay for flatware. I inherited 2 almost complete sets and have found pieces on ebay that are VERY inexpensive. You can buy an entire set of beautiful name brand high quality flatware at a fraction of the price.
MissFixit is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MissFixit For This Useful Post:
Florence (11-03-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 12:44 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lizatola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
I have the Dyson Slim upright. I love it, but I am not sure it was worth the price. A friend got a Shark over the summer after she decided her Dyson was too heavy and gave it away. THe Sharks are less than half the price of a Dyson and go on sale during the long holiday weekends at most places. NExt time I'm getting a Shark, FYI.

Check out Ebay for flatware. I inherited 2 almost complete sets and have found pieces on ebay that are VERY inexpensive. You can buy an entire set of beautiful name brand high quality flatware at a fraction of the price.
I have a very expensive upright called a Miele, but I don't know if AH will want to keep it. Basically, I'm going into this with the thought that I will have to start over from square one like a college student, you know?

I shop on Ebay for a TON of stuff and I am a member of other trading and garage sale FB pages, etc. I have cheap furniture and I'm so glad that I am NOT sentimental. Just put a mattress on the floor, I'll be fine. No, really, I lived like that for 4 years after college and it works great. You literally can just roll out of bed onto the floor, LOL!!!
lizatola is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lizatola For This Useful Post:
Florence (11-03-2014), MissFixit (11-01-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 03:11 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Really, Liz, all you have to say is, "Please send any of your proposals to my lawyer."

One of the BIGGEST advantages of having a lawyer is that the lawyer serves as a BUFFER. You are not obligated to listen to his arguments about how the two of you need to "work this out" between the two of you. He is continuing to argue with you because you are LETTING him do it. Stop. Just stop.

In fact, you could even have your lawyer send him a letter advising him that all communications concerning the divorce must be sent to her. Yes, your lawyer will charge you for her time communicating with him, but trust me, he won't bend her ear the way he does yours--because he knows it won't work to his advantage. YOU are the only one he thinks he can manipulate. Stop letting him try.
LexieCat is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
HopefulinFLA (11-01-2014), Jaeger (11-02-2014), lillamy (11-01-2014), redatlanta (11-02-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 04:02 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
I started with letting friends know I was moving into an empty apartment. Vacuum cleaner was one of the very few things I bought (Shark, Costco, about $100, worked great). People have so much stuff in their garages! One coworker gave me an entire set of Le Creuset cookware because her husband was remodeling the kitchen and the color didn't fit the new design. Yep. So happy to know people whose husbands are... particular about that kind of thing!

AND -- I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but when I was leaving the state a few years later and getting ready to take everything to goodwill, a young gal I knew contacted me on Facebook and said "I just left an abusive boyfriend and I have nothing but the clothes on my back." So I was able to pay it forward -- and that felt great!
lillamy is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
dandylion (11-01-2014), Florence (11-03-2014), hopeful4 (11-03-2014), LexieCat (11-01-2014), lizatola (11-02-2014)
Old 11-01-2014, 04:24 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I've donated several items of furniture and household items to the local victim/witness unit for DV victims who are moving into a new place--I know those items were appreciated and put to good use!

Oh, and when I left my first husband (the kids stayed with him) I only took items he didn't need or were duplicates. I found a nice bedroom set at a furniture consignment place, hit yard sales, asked friends for extras, etc. I think the only NEW item I bought was a sofa, plus sheets/bath linens.

LOL, he and I actually DID have an amicable divorce we were able to negotiate ourselves, and I always tell people the only disagreement we had was over the Ninendo--I wanted him to take it and he wanted ME to take it. I still have the Mario Brothers in my head at times...
LexieCat is offline  
Old 11-02-2014, 02:14 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lizatola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
Really, Liz, all you have to say is, "Please send any of your proposals to my lawyer."

One of the BIGGEST advantages of having a lawyer is that the lawyer serves as a BUFFER. You are not obligated to listen to his arguments about how the two of you need to "work this out" between the two of you. He is continuing to argue with you because you are LETTING him do it. Stop. Just stop.

In fact, you could even have your lawyer send him a letter advising him that all communications concerning the divorce must be sent to her. Yes, your lawyer will charge you for her time communicating with him, but trust me, he won't bend her ear the way he does yours--because he knows it won't work to his advantage. YOU are the only one he thinks he can manipulate. Stop letting him try.
That may be true but my sponsor thinks it's best to at least hear him out since I haven't paid my retainer fee to the lawyer yet. Right now, it's a verbal agreement because I was going to wait until after the new year to file.

He is being extremely humble recently: almost to the point where it's annoying. Apologizing for not getting his stuff out of the dryer, apologizing for leaving his dishes in the sink, etc. But, it's just weird and, quite frankly, it's sad. I have nothing left to offer this marriage. I don't think it's fair for me to stay with someone whom I just don't feel marital love for anymore. Honestly, it really isn't even about the drinking, it's just about feeling like I've grown and moved on and that I'm ready for something new. The couch potato passive aggressive bully alcoholic just isn't something I want to battle. I want peace and I've managed to find some peace while working program but it's not enough to keep me in this marriage. Life truly is too short and I have no idea where my higher power is going to place me in the future. I am truly stepping out in faith and trust right now.
lizatola is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:26 AM.