firefly

Unfinished


Phonics are falling
A part of the commotion in my head
Thoughts are like a trombone
Going back and forth between two hemispheres
Words are riding a roller coaster
Ideas appear
Then fall away
I am finally drawing the conclusion
That I’m confused
By the me that I am
And the you ( say I should be )
It’s smoky inside my head like fog on a fall morning
Storm’s coming
Ricochet gray like the matter I’m considering
Dialect debilitated by Simon sez what
I ought to be going that way again
Down side up
Who am I is what I should be
I don’t know don’t touch me
I don’t understand

somewhere

i am at the root of all these evils
I am somewhere
Rambling wits end standing on my chest
I don’t know what to do with all this sh*t sliding around inside my skull
(that wakes me up at night) I dentity is lost
I want to tell you I wish you were here
Instead, I bite your head off because you’re not
Phonics are falling into a cemetery plot
Of my self esteem
They say addiction
Makes you into what you never wanted to be
They say addiction
It makes you do things you said you’d never do
The reality is that I need patience
‘Cause recovery is a ramble wandering
Not a grocery list
It is the unknown quantity surrounded
By the me I don’t want to be
Here I go again here I go again here i go again
In this too well known litany
I wish I could just hit the backspace key sometimes
Take it all off like a wrap-around skirt
All this what doesn’t kill me
Makes me stronger sh*t
Doesn’t mean sh*t
When you’re in the middle of a melt down
It’s got me again going round
The housing complex of cranium inside the out of heart beat
The twisted place I have locked my voice
They say living with the addicted teaches you
Not to trust or feel not to heal
Sometimes I feel like I am lying at the bottom
of a staircase find myself standing in the last door way
(me is

not

what

I
am)
Every time I point this finger, at you,
I got four more
Pointing straight back, for me

smoke gets in my eyes

Thanks for posting that, Firefly. I find it eerie and moving. Is that your original work?

Morning Glory

Thanks Firefly,
I understand what that feels like.
MG

firefly

Thanks guys.

Yes, it is my own work. It will probably become the first of a series. There's another poem on the Eating Disorders page which deals with how society treats people, women in particular, regarding body size/shape/appearence.

serenity and joy,

firefly

boogielu_23

[I]great just great! keep up the good work firefly!