soon to be bad withdrawls

Old 10-27-2014, 07:31 PM
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soon to be bad withdrawls

My hubby is having surgery in a couple of days. As of tomorrow night he cant have any alcohol for at least the next week. I can tell he is anxious but won't admit it. He is drinking more than normal. Also his appetite is not there. I have never in my 10 years of knowing him he has never gone a day without 5 beers. I know the first few days he will be on pain killers, and I cant let him drink for healing purposes. I'm scared to see how bad his withdrawls are going to be. I know with me quitting (32 days) I had mild withdrawls but I could deal with good meals and tons of water. It is massive oral surgery so pumping water through will be difficult. Any ideas? thanks in advance
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Old 10-27-2014, 07:36 PM
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I'm not a doctor and I don't offer medical advice, but because I was married to an A who lied through his teeth to every doctor ever about his alcohol intake, I have to ask:

Has your AH been honest about the doctors about how much he drinks? Are they aware that he's detoxing rapidly on his own before the surgery?

If not, I would tell them.
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Old 10-27-2014, 07:42 PM
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I've tried to tell him that its going to be hell for him. He thinks it is no big whoop. He thinks its no big thing. I'll have to let the surgeon know
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Old 10-28-2014, 12:00 AM
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You should get medical advice. In the grand scheme of things my AH didn't drink 'as much' alcohol as other A's...but in detox this time around he had seizures.

I wouldn't be advising non medically supervised detox.

And I second the suggestion that he may not have been honest with the docs.
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Old 10-28-2014, 03:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Rachinator View Post
I know the first few days he will be on pain killers, and I cant let him drink for healing purposes.
Let's just hope he feels the same way because if he want's to drink he is going to.

There is no predicting if he will have withdrawals or what will happen when he doesn't drink; however, its very possible. The doctors should know about his alcohol intake if he is being sedated or whatever, can be affected by his alcohol consumption.

If you are going to go the route of letting his doctors know I wouldn't sugar coat it.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:28 AM
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If I am not mistaken there are meds he can take to lessen the cravings and affects of withdraw. The key is his honesty with the medical team.
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Old 10-28-2014, 07:52 AM
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What a crappy time to have to come to terms with having no control over your loved one's actions.

I definitely agree that a non-supervised detox could be dangerous & I'd worry about that time period in between when he is "supposed" to stop drinking prior to the surgery & the surgery itself. Whether he white-knuckles through OR succumbs & sneaks a few drinks he's compromising his health while under anesthesia.

We could make the argument that as a grown man he's aware of all of this & is capable of informing his medical staff & that this is all on HIS side of the street.

OTOH, he may not be making the best decisions due to his addiction & we're talking about his health here, so it's understandable to be concerned & maybe even cross the street to talk to his doctors & inform them of his detox & see what they suggest for him following surgery. Comfort foods/tons of water/ extra vitamins/ sleep/ etc may be standard detox comforts but not easy following oral surgery. Good luck & congrats on your own sobriety!
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:11 AM
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I know I can't control his actions, only my own. I plan on staying home with him the first 5 days. However, I have this crappy feeling that he is going to have bad withdrawls. But he may not. He may be one of those people that can quit cold turkey and life is good. It is that darn fear of the unknown that is eating me up inside. I won't drink over it, because that is the last thing I need on my shoulders. Comfort foods are out of the picture he will be on a liquid diet/ extremely soft diet. I just have a bunch of those nutrition supplement drinks, juices, water. I hope all will be ok. It is one of those things that when you see someone you love not realizing they are going off the cliff. You can't go and jump in after them to save them. And you have to watch from a distance and watch them disappear. It is heart wrenching feeling. I know most of this is just running through my head as hypothetical senarios. But keep moving forward. And thanks for the support
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:15 AM
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You'll have to be ready for the very real possibility that he will not abstain from alcohol during this time. It's actually quite likely that he will sneak it without your knowledge.
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:15 AM
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You are future tripping my dear! Just STOP, take a breath, and work through it a moment at a time.

XXX
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:56 AM
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Rachinator, we have a saying around here that works well in times of high stress.

Just do the next right thing.

Don't worry about tomorrow, the surgery, the post-op, etc..... just take each minute as it comes & do the next right thing needed at that moment. Instead of looking at the whole line of dominos set up waiting to tumble, deal with each, one step at a time.

I remember "getting" this concept while RAH was in jail for DUI & I couldn't/wouldn't help him out. My world was absolute chaos & I had no clue where things were headed. I had gobs of worries over his safety, our finances, the future of our relationship, etc. but I went shopping instead because DD needed uniform pants for school because the weather had turned cool that same week. THAT was the next right thing for me to focus on at that moment. Everything else was out of my control. Shopping for pants made me realize she had outgrown her winter jacket & needed a replacement. When we finished that we were hungry so I worried about lunch. And on & on I went through that weekend spending time focused on each task in front of me instead of worrying about what I couldn't know. HTH!
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Old 10-28-2014, 09:39 AM
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Hi Rachinator and welcome to this side of the street
You have gotten some really good feedback re your AH on this thread so I just wanted to give you a gentle reminder as a fellow double winner to put the oxygen mask on first.
Whatever you are doing is working (congrats on 34 days, that's awesome) so I'd suggest you don't let it slide while your focus and attention are drawn to the alcoholic's health issues (which could be complicated by his own doings and quacking) especially since you are in early sobriety.
So keep posting here for support but also keep up the good work with your own recovery from alcoholism.

Hugs
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:43 AM
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thank you all. I know I need to not be a worry wart.
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