scout360

My BF decided to do a quick run to Pets Mart when he was smashed and hit a small guard rail near his home on the return from the store. No one saw it and no police were around. I was at my own place when he called me after it happened. His ex wife was at his house waiting when he got back and was dropping off their 9 year old to spend the night. She took pictures of the damaged car and threatened calling the cops if he didn't get help. I backed her up. He finally agreed that he was scared enough to get back with his substance abuse counselor and attended his first 2 AA meetings. Now, he says he hates the meetings and got in an argument with his counselor that he doesn't need AA. I think he just manipulated his ex wife and me to get out of immediate trouble and will try staying sober on his own but relapse is inevitable. Thoughts? Thanks you guys.

honeypig

Hi, scout--I think your assessment is probably pretty accurate. I'm sorry to hear this happened.

Are you attending AA or otherwise making sure to take care of yourself during this time? I hope so.

scout360

I do attend Al Anon- And Pray.

honeypig

Then I think you are doing all that you can do, scout. I wish strength and clarity for you, and some peace to end your day with.

Hammer

THAT is a winning pair.

Sounds like you may find more in common with ex than the A.

Pity the kiddo.

ladyscribbler

Maybe you guys could ride to an Alanon/Alateen meeting together.
Just a thought.

dandylion

scout360....finding fault with AA is a huge red flag, for sure.

It sounds like it is time for you to spend some time thinking about what you are willing to live with and tolerate in a relationship.
LOL!....I think hammer is right...I am willing to bet that you and the ex have a lot in common.
At least, you don't have your own child in the m ix. That makes the situation much, much worse.

dandylion

53500

Agree completely. You know the drill.

totfit

If he does not want to get sober then relapse is inevitable whether he attends AA or not. Also, research shows that if he REALLY wants to get sober his chances are about the same whether he attends AA or not. So there you have it. If he does not want to get sober, he will not.

hopeful4

I agree. He manipulated all of you to get you off his back. The initial panic is over for him, back to it.

Only you can decide what to do for you from here.