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-   -   Grammar issues (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/348976-grammar-issues.html)

HealingWillCome 10-27-2014 06:48 PM

WTBH, two of my favorite people in the world are my junior high English teacher (from a bazillion years ago) and his wife. When they were dating in the 70s, she would write him letters while he was away at college. He would proofread them with a red pen and send them back. Nearly 40 years later, they have 3 children, 7 grandchildren, and their family has made the world a much happier place. They are the salt of the earth. Her writing skills still leave a lot to be desired. He still corrects her, and she still laughs it off and doesn't care one bit. I'm so glad he decided to stick with her back in the 70s, in spite of her poor grammar/spelling/punctuation skills!

I'd hate to see you reject a gem of a guy somewhere down the road just because he can't spell! :)

MIRecovery 10-27-2014 07:08 PM

When I honestly looked at my own failings I became much more tolerant of others.

I am not exactly a poster child for a life well lead

Thumper 10-27-2014 07:12 PM


Originally Posted by HealingWillCome (Post 4979921)
WTBH, two of my favorite people in the world are my junior high English teacher (from a bazillion years ago) and his wife. When they were dating in the 70s, she would write him letters while he was away at college. He would proofread them with a red pen and send them back. Nearly 40 years later, they have 3 children, 7 grandchildren, and their family has made the world a much happier place. They are the salt of the earth. Her writing skills still leave a lot to be desired. He still corrects her, and she still laughs it off and doesn't care one bit. I'm so glad he decided to stick with her back in the 70s, in spite of her poor grammar/spelling/punctuation skills! I'd hate to see you reject a gem of a guy somewhere down the road just because he can't spell! :)

Jeez. Maybe it was her that stuck with him in spite of it all. The first red penned love letter returned would have been the last one sent! Lol

53500 10-27-2014 07:14 PM

Texting is different. I also care about writing properly but texting is just different, it's shorthand.

PurpleWilder 10-27-2014 07:51 PM

Step One: We admit we are powerless over punctuation, usage and syntax and that our lives had become unmanageable....LOL

Tamerua 10-27-2014 07:53 PM

Spelling and grammar don't count in text or instant message. :D

FWIW, I was going to be a Spanish teacher and sit near someone at work and cringe every time she gets on the phone in Spanish. Oy vey.

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

peaceofpi 10-28-2014 08:02 PM

Grammatical mistakes can drive me up a wall if I see them at work or hear them consistently (e.g., "Sleep good tonight.").

On SR, I don't even notice grammar. I read heartfelt shares and pain and triumph and discovery. You guys are collectively the best writers I have ever read, and it's all in the beauty and honesty of your words and how it relates to my own path.

On a different topic - [Originally Posted by lillamy "And horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres)"] - I snortled when reading that. I was fresh out of college and had to call some people and read from a script describing a "dinner with hors d'oeuvres." They all got messages on their answering machines about "dinner with horse doo-vers." When I'm rolling my eyes at a txt msg or other gram-mayhem, it helps to remember my own little foh-pah.

wackybunny 10-28-2014 09:39 PM

I get it. It's something I notice almost every day. The worst is when people say things like "I literally died and went to heaven". Arg. If you are an English teacher, by all means do your job and teach English as it is meant to be written. I wouldn't lose sleep over it though.

I like to think about how the English language has evolved over the centuries and realize that what we consider correct in 2014 has not always been considered correct. Imagine people from the 1800s reading this thread. I grew up in England and had to come to terms with US spelling which never made a whole lot of sense to me. Why change the spelling of words? Now I live in Canada, which seems to be stuck in the middle, slowly transitioning from English to American thanks to the internet.

We can follow the rules but there will always be those that are unaware of them or purposely ignore them. New words come in, new spellings, new meanings. I think what matters most is the clarity and quality of the message. I know what people mean when they say "I literally died and went to heaven" so why should I care? Besides, I can't even be bothered to use correct punctuation any more. Or should I say anymore?

As for the dad, I suspect that if you really liked him, you wouldn't care if he could spell.

redatlanta 10-29-2014 04:33 AM

My brother once broke up with a lovely girl because she had a fungus on a toenail. Im not kidding. He did not get married until he was 40 and cycled through girlfriends because all of them had "something" wrong with them that got on his nerves LOL.

As a makeup artist I am asked often if I notice or critique other people's makeup - that I must cringe and so forth all the time. I don't actually. I don't' care.

Having dated enough losers to fill a school cafeteria, and at one time being far more into the superficiality of men - good looking, what do they drive, what do they do, how much money do they make, how articulate are they etc….I think I can speak well on this subject. Those little pet peeves are so unimportant to character. RAH hair sprays his hair. Its dated, I don't like it, it would look better if he didn't, and he won't stop. Oh well. I proudly go anywhere with him. He is faithful, and loves me to pieces.

And luckily he does know the difference between two/too/to. That's my pet peeve grammatically.

suki44883 10-29-2014 07:10 AM

I saw this on Pinterest and immediately thought of this thread. :tongue:

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/73...cb9bd6ced6.jpg

FireSprite 10-29-2014 07:21 AM

:lmao

Oh good Lord, that's hilarious.

I'll admit - "supposably" drives me up the WALL because it even sounds wrong. It's like nails on a chalkboard when I hear it...... :34:

ResignedToWait 10-29-2014 07:24 AM

If anyone hasn't seen it before, google for "Youtube Word Crimes"

It's a fantastic parody song by Weird Al about grammar...

anattaboy 10-29-2014 07:26 AM

tooshay!

LexieCat 10-31-2014 08:01 PM

Well, call me a nazi, too. I feel exactly the same way--it's like nails on a chalkboard for me to read certain ungrammatical writing.

We all have certain things that drive us nuts--things that someone else wouldn't even notice. And I think most of us have little quirks/habits that drive other people bonkers. I even know what some of mine are, and I'm not sure how much of my continuing to do those things is just passive-aggressiveness on my part, ya know?

I'm a word geek, too, and lots of my job involves highly-skilled writing. Other people don't have to meet my standards, but it's my choice whether to spend time with people whose habits irritate me. Right? (She said, defensively.) :)

Oh, and I just edited this post for punctuation.

SeriousKarma 10-31-2014 09:04 PM

My name is Serious K., and I'm a commaholic.

I admit I'm powerless over commas,,,,,, that my grammar has become unmanageable.

I would also like to state here, publicly, that I do know the difference between to and too. Yes, I do know there's a mistake on one of my recent posts. I caught it after the edit window had closed. Although I am well versed in the difference between two, to, and too, and were, wear, and where, I mess them up constantly.

I guess I'm just too busy trying to figure out where I can stick more commas.

desypete 10-31-2014 09:26 PM

i dAre knot post iN tiss fread as my gRammer is so bad

please exuse my
fanx

soberlicious 11-01-2014 06:56 AM

Texting is not just poor writing. Consider this.

Ursula745 11-01-2014 08:54 AM

I am a member of the grammar police. I don't correct people, but it does go through me.

I have to admit that if a post is hard to read or doesn't contain punctuation or paragraphs, I do not read it. My mind cannot take it; too painful...Sad, huh? It truly does make me dizzy, and I hate that because sometimes people need helpful responses, but I just can't do it.

SoloMio 11-01-2014 04:04 PM

There's something so reassuring about grammar rules--right? I love knowing the rules, because they're immutable. And I'm proud to say that I went to Catholic school for 12 years because the nuns beat those rules into you. I can still recite all of the prepositions in alphabetical order, in under 10 seconds.

So, I do agree with the OP--it drives me crazy when I read really glaring errors in mainstream media, which happens all the time now. I guess all the editors have retired. Or have become irrelevant. I recently read an article, on a mainstream online news source, where the author said she interviewed "Natasha Richardson's late husband, Liam Neeson." Wow--what a business expense that must have been--to heaven and back!

But as I get older, my spelling has declined. And I'm thinking, this kind of sucks, but what difference does it make. I'm far from perfect now--I shoot out emails and blog entries and they're riddled with errors.

I'm actually more upset that the future generations will probably have no idea how great Shakespeare is.

lillamy 11-01-2014 06:17 PM


Having dated enough losers to fill a school cafeteria, and at one time being far more into the superficiality of men - good looking, what do they drive, what do they do, how much money do they make, how articulate are they etc….I think I can speak well on this subject. Those little pet peeves are so unimportant to character. RAH hair sprays his hair. Its dated, I don't like it, it would look better if he didn't, and he won't stop. Oh well. I proudly go anywhere with him. He is faithful, and loves me to pieces.
So here's my thinking on this: One, you're absolutely right -- I've been through hell in a marriage with a guy who never misspelled a thing. After that, I don't care if the man I share my life with leaves his dirty socks on the living room floor. I pretty much don't sweat the small stuff and most everything is small stuff.

I do think, though, that it's OK to have preferences. My sister could never have married a guy who can't build a garage or fix the plumbing. My best friend wouldn't have married a guy who didn't purchase his suits custom-made from a tailor. Neither one of them can spell worth a dang. My husband is not extremely handy and he hates suits -- but he spells like a god! :lmao It's just different preferences.


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