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Old 10-27-2014, 12:04 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Oh, I wanted to add...there are a couple SR members who used to PM me if my sentence structure was off.

They don't anymore.





I put them on "ignore."
A fear of mine ! Probably why I think twice about posting. I can't believe people would pm you over that. Yikes!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:06 PM
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I'm a former English teacher and think the prescriptive English is mostly good only for pedants and picky people (sorry!).
Oh, I totally own that my grammar police tendencies are a sickness. But they're so far down the list of priorities of "Things I Need To Fix About Me" that I'm sort of letting them slide.

AND I should also add that in a forum like this, the only time spelling/grammar errors irritate me is when they make it hard to understand.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:07 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by changeneeded View Post
A fear of mine ! Probably why I think twice about posting. I can't believe people would pm you over that. Yikes!
There was one person who PMed me three times - only to quote and correct my grammar.

I asked her to put me on ignore so I wouldn't threaten her sobriety.

...I put her on ignore too. Once someone is on ignore, I don't see their PMs if they send one
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:08 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Let it be known that I would never, never, ever PM someone to correct their grammar. Or hair style. Or recovery choices.

Holy snap, that's codie crazy gone nuts!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:13 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Let it be known that I would never, never, ever PM someone to correct their grammar. Or hair style. Or recovery choices.

Holy snap, that's codie crazy gone nuts!
No kidding. People showing us who they are by their actions.....

Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
And horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres). I wanted to slap him every time.
Holy cow that is a new one. hahahahahaha

Originally Posted by Florence View Post
My 50 year old sister who is one of the smartest people I know, and has a master's in business from one of the best schools in the country, is 100% dedicated to texting like a teenager. RU going 2 dinner? U shld C us l8r. I think it's hilarious.
Ha! I'm on another board that is heavily populated by people in their early 20's. I spend half my time on google to figure out what they are talking about. When I'm in the dark I don't feel so smart anymore!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:13 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Oh WTBH, I do think we're secretly twins.

I have a poster on the wall of my office. It says "I don't judge you by the color of your skin. I judge you by your spelling and grammar."
We are 100% abso freakin lutely twins! (how's that for grammar?!)

My bestie from grad school sent me a mug that says that!!! I have it on my desk right now! No lie!!!!

I broke up with a guy once because he couldn't spell and was mixing words up (like effect/affect). And he said ek-cetera and ex-presso. And horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres). I wanted to slap him every time.
Yup we are totally twinsies! I broke up with a guy for your vs. you're!

Of course, you do realize that perfectionism is one of those nasty little buggers codependents often struggle with? I know I do. I stopped taking the newspaper because I was late for work marking up all the mistakes I found in it.
Is it? I truly didn't know that was a characteristic of codies but I should have assumed!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:18 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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I get it, but my phone auto corrects all the time, and honestly, I don't always have the time to fix it, especially if it is a minor issue. So I don't judge by texts but try to listen to how a person actually speaks or read their writings.

My daughter was learning the difference between Urban and Suburban last week. She was saying Urban as Uburban and it was making me crazy! She finally told me she gets it, she just cannot say it. She also told me to get over it. She is eight. It was a lost battle, I finally gave up.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
There was one person who PMed me three times - only to quote and correct my grammar.

I asked her to put me on ignore so I wouldn't threaten her sobriety.

...I put her on ignore too. Once someone is on ignore, I don't see their PMs if they send one
I cannot believe someone would take the time out of their day to harass you about that. Wow.

Horse ovaries? That is a new one to me & I CANNOT stop laughing!!!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:23 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by FireSprite View Post
I cannot believe someone would take the time out of their day to harass you about that. Wow.
You know what's worse? That I'm still talking about it fours months later AND outing her in a thread.

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Old 10-27-2014, 12:25 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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LOL @ bimini, good for you!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:27 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Fascinating...

I am a self-admitted grammar nazi as well. Ironic as this should come up. Last night, other half and I got into our first sort-of-argument... over a stupid comma. He is working on his bachelor's degree online, and I was proofreading (and editing heavily) his paper last night. Now, I am not terribly familiar with the "APA style," and ended up looking up several examples to get through it, but could not *believe* that even in a citation, a comma would go outside the quotation marks.

Ultimately, I sort of had to walk away, but we had a good laugh about it afterwards. I think what was mentioned earlier plays a big role. As luck (fate?) would have it, his mother was an alcoholic. He had a very rough childhood, generally unsupported, and barely graduated from high school. He struggles with writing, to be sure. I, on the other hand, came from a family of teachers and higher educators, tested out of all my collegiate English requirements, and admit to cringing at grammatically incorrect texts. I know he uses voice-to-text, and can ascribe most of his errors to that. I, on the other hand, edit mine. Sigh.

Regardless, I'd never really thought about how his childhood impacted his learning, because he's a pretty bright guy and has done quite well for himself, mostly through grit and determination. Food for thought.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:48 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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I think what started out as me poking fun at myself has really turned into an interesting thread which will forever more give me pause for thought regarding others and their backgrounds. Hmmmm. As always thanks everyone for the thoughts.
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:04 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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I have to admit that writing on this thread makes me a little nervous.

Part of the reason I joined the forum is because writing is so hard for me compared to verbal communication. I am an avid reader but it did not translate into good spelling skills. My speaking skills are great! Though I grew up in an excellent school system our fourth grade teacher was very ill and I never learned grammar basics. As a result spelling and grammar are still not strong points for me. I am in awe of many on this board for their abilities to communicate clearly and succinctly.

Part of the reason writing was so hard for me was that it felt like a permenant expression of emotions (and who wants that, when you are attempting to ignore that emotions exist). For me I feel like learning to write is actually part of my recovery. I have been scared to even keep a journal over the years (that only I will read).

I work in the medical field, and a huge part of my job is writing. I can spell all sorts of medical terms correctly and my writing has improved drastically over the years BUT writing from a personal place continues to be hard. Those emotions AND the fear of knowing my grammar and spelling are not the best is part of why I joined the forum and continue to post.....

Part of my healing has been allowing others to see my writing and to help me with it. I have a number of trusted friends who I ask to review my work. My writing has improved because of this, but it has also been a good learning curve and deepened my friendships for me to be vulnerable.
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:10 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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I didn't mean to make anyone feel judged. This is able me in my life being harsh about issues that don't reflect a persons real value and wondering if I'm insane bc of that.

Like I said I only care about this with people I know in my real face to face life bc I fear I'll be judged somehow for their lack of "intellect" and this is clearly a carry over from my family of origin judging the world this way.

I mean, that said, grammar is a pet peeve and that's who I am. But I feel terribly if anyone now feels uncomfortable writing here bc of the context of this thread.
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:26 PM
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Nah, it just made us proofread it a little more than we would have otherwise. (And by "we," I mean "I")
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Old 10-27-2014, 01:49 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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I have to admit that writing on this thread makes me a little nervous.
Hey, me too -- and I'm a card-carrying member of the grammar police!

Seriously, I don't ever think about it on a board like this. I figure anyone here is here to help solve problems bigger than grammar and spelling issues. I belong to another support board where one member types faster than she is able to, so half of the reading of her post is figuring out where one word ends and the next one starts... it's sort of like this exercises where words are all jumbled up and you're supposed to find the real word. And it's totally OK.

And with so many people typing on their phones these days, I think we've all become pretty good at getting around the mistakes.
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Old 10-27-2014, 02:17 PM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
I didn't mean to make anyone feel judged. This is able me in my life being harsh about issues that don't reflect a persons real value and wondering if I'm insane bc of that.

Like I said I only care about this with people I know in my real face to face life bc I fear I'll be judged somehow for their lack of "intellect" and this is clearly a carry over from my family of origin judging the world this way.

I mean, that said, grammar is a pet peeve and that's who I am. But I feel terribly if anyone now feels uncomfortable writing here bc of the context of this thread.
WTBH-

I meant my post to read that I get nervous because writing, my grammar and my spelling is my own stuff. I judge myself harshly about it. It does not matter if you would or not.

Just like all this other recovery stuff>
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Old 10-27-2014, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Hey, me too -- and I'm a card-carrying member of the grammar police!

Seriously, I don't ever think about it on a board like this. I figure anyone here is here to help solve problems bigger than grammar and spelling issues. I belong to another support board where one member types faster than she is able to, so half of the reading of her post is figuring out where one word ends and the next one starts... it's sort of like this exercises where words are all jumbled up and you're supposed to find the real word. And it's totally OK.
This board has been so helpful because I get nervous and fearful....for me that means I am touching on the hard stuff. I am working on the pieces that make me uncomfortable.

I have not had growth without it. This thread has helped me to grow!
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Old 10-27-2014, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
Are you sure
OKay. I asked him about this tonight. This is what he said.

He notices bad grammar and poor writing skills. When he receives work-related emails containing bad grammar he assumes the person (usually a student) is uneducated and/or from a poorer background. Didn't ask but I assume those would be new 101 or 102 students not the upper level kids.

He doesn't care about grammar in personal relationships (friends and family). I also asked him if he has ever judged a date on grammar and he said no. He notices things, but doesn't judge them per se.
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Old 10-27-2014, 05:29 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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That is one of my pet peeves as well!!! I actually cringe when a couple of my employees text me. They use no punctuation and will spell know "no". They are also guilty of the whole you're, your, they're, their, there......I correct them each and every time!
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