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Old 10-27-2014, 12:06 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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"to funny"...

Got that as a text yesterday in response to a tale I shared and it nearly sent me off the edge (only half kidding!)
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:08 PM
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I don't know about all this.

My bf is an English professor, has written several books and edits textbooks too. He doesn't judge people with poor grammar skills. I never proofread my own SR posts, personal emails or texts. There are mistakes, so what. I only proofread professional items. I am not dumb...just lazy!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
I don't know about all this.

My bf is an English professor, has written several books and edits textbooks too. He doesn't judge people with poor grammar skills.
Are you sure
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:13 PM
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In all seriousness... I do think that there is some bigger issue here...

I was raised to put on a good image, a game face, a fake image to the world to hide the reality of the abuse at home...

I married someone who hid his real self behind an air of superiority and hid who he was for a long time...

I HATE that I am a snob about grammar... who the F cares is what I wish I could say...

I think that this bothers me because who am I to judge someone else over something that at the end of the day has NOTHING to do with whether you are a good person or not...
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
- I do not know why I put "so" in my last post. I think proofreading is also a lost art.

I was a communications major. I've done proofreading professionally, too.

I think I don't really care that much on forums - sad, because it will outlast me.


Originally Posted by dandylion View Post

My true confession....I consider an adult eating with their mouth open to be a turn off...

dandylion

I would also add that good language skills are to enable us to communicate our thoughts and feelings as well as we can...not to be used as a yardstick with which to judge other people. Their language skills are within THEIR hoola hoop. Our own are within OUR hoola hoop.

I'm just sayin'.
Ya! I grimace when people breath through their mouth. That is really shallow of me. I'm always mentally kicking myself for being that way - people need to breath after all!

Originally Posted by FireSprite View Post
It bothers me sometimes, especially when I hear people using the wrong/made up words. (pacific instead of specific, etc.) But I don't think it's my job to police the world for stuff like this, surely we ALL do little things wrong in areas of our lives, it's just a matter of what/where? I'm not perfect (I'm the Queen of Run-On Sentences ) & I try really hard not to judge others for stuff like this, not knowing their personal history.

Here's a great example - one of my besties is a KDG teacher.
What a *gift* your friend is to so many, despite crappy grammar! The world needs more of her for sure!

My son says all kinds of things wrong, or just the wrong word in general, because he has a CAPD and doesn't actually process the sounds the same way we do. Death/deaf. Meat/neat. Examples of things that sound the same to him. Wolf/wuff.

I have my things too. I don't think our initial reactions make us bitchy - what we do with them might thought. It doesn't sound like anyone here needs to worry

PS: I went back up and added 'It' to that sentence, lol.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:19 PM
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I once decided against a second date with someone because he persisted in saying "would/could/should of" instead of "have". That gives me a mental itch. By the end of the date I had a full flea circus in my head.

Nowadays, as a recovering codie, hearing frequent use of the words 'would' 'could' and 'should' irritates me just as much!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:22 PM
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Ha ha, I know what you mean as my grammar is usually always correct and I pride myself in knowing the difference. I used to have a rule NOT to date anyone that said "ain't". Somewhere along the line I loosened up on it since my husband (2nd) says that word once in awhile but makes fun of himself for saying it lol.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:23 PM
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For the grammarians: "Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes - YouTube
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes - YouTube
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:24 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I once got a letter from a man I was already wanting to end a relationship with, that ended with "your a great woman" blah blah blah and that was sort of the impetus I needed to decide once and for all to be done...

He was uber needy and made me crazy as it was, but somehow the your vs. you're issue made it easier to decide to end things... That was 20 years ago... Guess Ive been a grammar nazi a long time...
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:27 PM
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wantobehealthy....I suspect that you have internalized the attitudes of the adults around you when you were growing up.....?

When I am writing professionally or speaking in public...I use my best language skills...
However when I am with my own peeps or writing on this forum I take any number of liberties with the informal language...Sometimes, I deliberately use certain forms for a specific "effect" in my expression.
I hope that I will be forgiven.....

dandylion.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:32 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Oddly I only care about it when it's someone in my day to day real life and worry about what others will think of me for having friends/relationships with people who aren't book smart...

My entire family to this day is all about posturing about who is the most academic and successful. I don't give a rats ass about competing and prefer to work with at risk kids so I lost that contest long ago...

But I still fear being judged by my family for the company I keep... So I guess I figured it out didn't I?
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by FireSprite View Post
We all have our pet peeves - only you can determine if it's a symptom of another, larger Codie problem or just aggravating.

It bothers me sometimes, especially when I hear people using the wrong/made up words. (pacific instead of specific, etc.) But I don't think it's my job to police the world for stuff like this, surely we ALL do little things wrong in areas of our lives, it's just a matter of what/where? I'm not perfect (I'm the Queen of Run-On Sentences ) & I try really hard not to judge others for stuff like this, not knowing their personal history.

Here's a great example - one of my besties is a KDG teacher & has some of the worst spelling & grammar skills I've ever seen. It drives me absolutely bonkers if I let it get to me - how can a TEACHER not know the proper usage for there/their/they're, to/too & how to spell????

Taking a step back I've realized that school was INCREDIBLY difficult for her. As a child raised in a seriously dysfunctional & abusive home, school was not a priority & then by the time she became an adult it was hard for her to catch up. She still managed to put herself through college with almost zero support and it took her almost 12 yrs to do it, but she DID. She has always wanted to be a Kdg teacher, taught Pre-K for the entire 12 yrs she was in school & never stopped working toward her goal. She is one of the best, most patient people I've ever seen around kids. She knows every trick in the book for helping kids at that level & has already been acknowledged by her school as having the class that shows the most growth each year by the time the kids leave her care, year after year.

She turned down the chance to work with the higher performing kids in favor of those who are further behind because she knows she can make the greatest impact for them at this point in their lives. She has also opted to work at one of the poorest schools in our district, where many of the kids are so poor that the only meals they get each day are those provided at school. She is giving each of those kids the start she wishes she had had at that point in her life & then she prays that it sticks with them after they leave her - that she proves to them that they CAN learn it all no matter how far behind they are when they start that first important year. At that age she believed herself to be stupid & worthless & spent so much of her life fighting against that stigma that she has made it her life's work to reach as many kids as possible that might be growing up the same way. So I keep that in mind when I'm trying to decipher her text msgs, because I used to judge her pretty harshly for it.
You're friend sounds so awesome! I love hereing storys like this.

LOL
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:41 PM
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wantobehealthy...I will add to that....I think that when the big areas are compatible with another person...we can overlook the smaller things even if they do irritate us to a certain degree. However, if there are other major areas that are in conflict --conscious or not---these irritations become a real burr in our saddle.

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Old 10-27-2014, 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
wantobehealthy...I will add to that....I think that when the big areas are compatible with another person...we can overlook the smaller things even if they do irritate us to a certain degree. However, if there are other major areas that are in conflict --conscious or not---these irritations become a real burr in our saddle.

dandylion
I agree! And my history/track record has been to care more about how outward appearances and external qualities align rather than the real stuff....

So maybe it's time I hang up my grammar nazi cap for a while...
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:50 PM
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After living with an alcoholic drug addict, I will take a grammatically incorrect , lousy speller ANY DAY!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by readerbaby71 View Post
You're friend sounds so awesome! I love hereing storys like this.

LOL




Seriously though, this is a GREAT breakthrough in your personal awareness/recovery WTBH. You may really like hanging up that Grammar Nazi Hat & never take it off the shelf again!

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Old 10-27-2014, 12:54 PM
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I think that a person's communication style is a window to his or her soul, and do not fault anyone for judging others by their grammar.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:57 PM
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Oh WTBH, I do think we're secretly twins.

I have a poster on the wall of my office. It says "I don't judge you by the color of your skin. I judge you by your spelling and grammar."

I've told my kids that if I ever find them using "text speak" when texting, I will take their phones. I broke up with a guy once because he couldn't spell and was mixing words up (like effect/affect). And he said ek-cetera and ex-presso. And horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres). I wanted to slap him every time.

Of course, you do realize that perfectionism is one of those nasty little buggers codependents often struggle with? I know I do. I stopped taking the newspaper because I was late for work marking up all the mistakes I found in it.
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:59 PM
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Coldfusion...then, how do you explain Jeffrey Dahmer's good language skills?

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Old 10-27-2014, 01:03 PM
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Eh, I'm a former English teacher and think the prescriptive English is mostly good only for pedants and picky people (sorry!). If you can understand what someone is saying, does it matter?

My 50 year old sister who is one of the smartest people I know, and has a master's in business from one of the best schools in the country, is 100% dedicated to texting like a teenager. RU going 2 dinner? U shld C us l8r. I think it's hilarious.
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