SoloMio

Sometimes I call him out on it. Like, if he's on a a sober binge (which might last 5 days) and then he drinks for the next 8 and he'll say something like, "I haven't had a drink in two weeks," I might not let that pass. I might say, "Come on, hon, you and I both know that's not true," and then I'll drop it. I try not to sound angry or judgmental--just laying the facts out there. Most of the time he'll weakly protest.

CodeJob

Educate yourself on boundaries. What physical and mental boundaries do you want to create and are willing to enforce to lessen the impact of your qualifier's drinking?

I found Codependent No More my base text. After reading it twice, I came home and set a boundary. Then about 60 days later I had to enforce it. It was hard. I cried. But it brought me peace. And now I walk around knowing I can do it AGAIN and it will be easier!

There are some decent articles and other books about boundaries too... Read up!

NorCaliGal

This is exactly where I am right now. I know nothing I say or do will keep him from drinking. I know I am not the cause of his drinking (ABF even says his drinking has nothing to do with me.) But I get so angry thinking that he may believe he's fooling me! I don't want a confrontation, but I do want him to know that I'm aware he's sneaking vodka in the garage.

If I ask him if he's been drinking he admits it. That's his defense "I'm always honest about it when you ask." The last time we had this discussion I asked him to just tell me upfront, instead of waiting until he is asked. And he agreed. Yet he continues to drink in the garage and not tell me.

Argh!

NCG