What am i doing wrong? Is there more that i can do to help my husband?
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What am i doing wrong? Is there more that i can do to help my husband?
I have been going to the meetings and I plan on looking up al-anon. Do I need an attitude adjustment when it comes to his drinking? Should I mention how upset I am with him and his drinking or just leave it alone? I surely do not want to be an enabler.
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Originally Posted by suki44883 
The best thing you can do it take care of yourself.
His drinking really has nothing at all to do with you.
His drinking really has nothing at all to do with you.
RIP Sweet Suki
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It has to do with him being addicted to alcohol. No one can make another person drink and no one can stop another person from drinking. We are just not that powerful. That has to come from inside the addict themselves.
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I have begged, pleaded, made threats, etc...so many times through the years thinking I could "fix" my AH or at least "make him feel guilty" for drinking so heavily. Each time it led to more disappointment and anger with myself. Listen to everyone on here when we say "you cannot fix it". We are powerless over them. Buy the book, Codependent No More and start reading. Find an al anon meeting and go. If you cannot physically make a meeting, go on their website and look up the phone number for the telephone meetings.
Until someone wants to change, they never will, no matter what we say or do.
Until someone wants to change, they never will, no matter what we say or do.
Last edited by Bamawife; 10-22-2014 at 07:03 PM. Reason: misspelling
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Originally Posted by suki44883
It has to do with him being addicted to alcohol. No one can make another person drink and no one can stop another person from drinking. We are just not that powerful. That has to come from inside the addict themselves.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
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Originally Posted by ssenteews
Thank you for your response. Question: If his drinking has nothing to do with me, then what does his drinking have to do with? I apologize for sounding dumb, but I sincerely want to know.
Like others have said the best thing to do is look after yourself first. You matter and you don't want to get lost in his addiction.
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Originally Posted by LadyinBC
I'm an alcoholic and speaking for me I drank to get drunk and escape reality. Period. Him drinking is not you and you are not responsible for him. You are doing nothing wrong.
Like others have said the best thing to do is look after yourself first. You matter and you don't want to get lost in his addiction.
Like others have said the best thing to do is look after yourself first. You matter and you don't want to get lost in his addiction.
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