An oldie but a goodie....
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
An oldie but a goodie....
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
LoveMeNow......I am glad that you posted this. I consider ALL the articles by Floyd P/ Garrett to be among the best that I have read, on this subject.
When I first read them, it really pulled back the curtains on my understanding of how this disease operates. That helped me sooo much to stop personalizing the actions of the alcoholic. It wasn't ME!! I wasn't the cause!! They were not drinking to hurt Me!!
It never was about Me!!
For anyone who has not read these articles...I, also, highly recommend them.
dandylion
When I first read them, it really pulled back the curtains on my understanding of how this disease operates. That helped me sooo much to stop personalizing the actions of the alcoholic. It wasn't ME!! I wasn't the cause!! They were not drinking to hurt Me!!
It never was about Me!!
For anyone who has not read these articles...I, also, highly recommend them.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 413
Great article -- but the question that remains in my mind is, "why did I feel such a great need to help, to save people like this -- specifically my ex-partner -- from themselves?"
It became an obsession. Normal people would have realized their limits in the situation and walked away -- long before I did.
What kept me so stuck, for so, so long? I became every bit as sick and deluded as he was.
It became an obsession. Normal people would have realized their limits in the situation and walked away -- long before I did.
What kept me so stuck, for so, so long? I became every bit as sick and deluded as he was.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by dandylion 
LoveMeNow......I am glad that you posted this. I consider ALL the articles by Floyd P/ Garrett to be among the best that I have read, on this subject.
When I first read them, it really pulled back the curtains on my understanding of how this disease operates. That helped me sooo much to stop personalizing the actions of the alcoholic. It wasn't ME!! I wasn't the cause!! They were not drinking to hurt Me!!
It never was about Me!!
For anyone who has not read these articles...I, also, highly recommend them.
dandylion
When I first read them, it really pulled back the curtains on my understanding of how this disease operates. That helped me sooo much to stop personalizing the actions of the alcoholic. It wasn't ME!! I wasn't the cause!! They were not drinking to hurt Me!!
It never was about Me!!
For anyone who has not read these articles...I, also, highly recommend them.
dandylion
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
NeedaBreak.....I would respond to your question in this way: C0-dependency.
I believe that to a certain degree...we all want to help those we love when we see them suffering.....But, I think the "tipping point" comes when that relationship is clearly damaging to us (as in the above article by Dr. Garrett)....and we still cling to the relationship in spite of the damage it is causing us.
Just like the alcoholic who keeps drinking in spite of the obvious damage that it is causing to him/her. When the alcoholic has become our drug of choice.
I think there are great parallels here (for the purpose of illustration).
dandylion
I believe that to a certain degree...we all want to help those we love when we see them suffering.....But, I think the "tipping point" comes when that relationship is clearly damaging to us (as in the above article by Dr. Garrett)....and we still cling to the relationship in spite of the damage it is causing us.
Just like the alcoholic who keeps drinking in spite of the obvious damage that it is causing to him/her. When the alcoholic has become our drug of choice.
I think there are great parallels here (for the purpose of illustration).
dandylion
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