Redhead

Hey...
I'm a 15 year old female, and my 46 year old dad is an alcoholic. He grew up with alcohol in his life, and his dad was an alcohoic for several years. When i was in first grade, my grandma (my father's mom) died from cancer, and he was with her in the hospital as she past away, right in front of him. I believe this is what triggered the alcoholism. I remember finding bottles of booze hidden out in the garage, and my dad would always be mixing a drink, or drinking a beer, but i never really thought anything of it, especially because i was only in first grade. Then, i remember when i was about in the fourth grade, he slept in his truck one night, or so i thought. The next morning i came to realize that he was passed out, not sleeping. But i didn't know what to think, it was just a one time thing...right?
When i started the 8th grade, it started to get worse, he would come home from work late, and again "fall asleep" on the couch, and i would always be finding bottles of Kessler in paper bags, hidden in the garage. But i didn't realize that he had a disease, i thought everyone's parents drank like he did. Well, one day i remember my grandpa coming over, and talking to my dad, then he came in the house and told me how we were going to get him to stop drinking. It was kind of a shock to me, because i didnt think it was that big of a problem at the time. Then this past February, 11 days before my 15 birthday, my grandpa died. He and my dad were more than just father/son, they were best friends. And after he died, i found my dad drinking more and more. He would commit himself to detox units for about 3 days at a time. He's been to so many, i can't even count them all anymore. None of them seemed to work, and he then switched from Whiskey to Vodka, and when it came down to him trying to find ways to drink at work, he knew it was a problem he could no longer control. So he committed himself to a 2 week rehab program, and he did really well, i thought that i had a normal life ahead of me. He was sober for 18 days, and everything was great. But then he relapsed, and everything had gone downhill, i don't know what to do. My mom and him are fighting again, he thinks that no one likes him, and he says that he'll never be able to stop. Also, there is a lady, that he "talks" to about his problems, and she talks to him about her problems. My mom has never told me about her, but when i listen to them fight, i always hear her brought up. It seems that whenever he talks to her, that he starts to drink a lot, and he thinks that he doesn't need my mom or i. He even threatens divorce, and has left a few times, and sleeps in his truck or rents a motel room. I don't know what to do or think anymore, and i just came here looking for help. Also, i was wondering if Alateen would be a good idea, my family thinks i should go, but i don't know what i should do. Let me know your ideas, and if you're in a similar situation.

Thanks Much!!!!

~Redhead

paula a.

((((((redhead))))))
Welcome, and yes, I think Alateen would be a good thing for you to look into. If I had known there was such a thing when I was your age I would have flown to a meeting. Keep coming back, read as much as you can, and vent when you need to. There are a lot of wonderful people here.
Take care sweetie,
Paula

renee18

RedHead,
hi my name is shana. I read your post. I am sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is an alcoholic too. By the way I am 18 years old. I can relate to the frighting and passing out after my dad drank, too much. Don't give up. There is hope for you and your family. I think Alateen would be go for you. I have never attend but i attend Al-Anon because of my age. JUst to let you now you are NOT ALONE IN THIS. I am here for you. Keep reading the post here. There are great people here.
Love,
Shana

Redhead

It feels so good to know there are people out there that are going through/have gone through the same things i am. And it's great to be able to talk to people, it's hard for me to talk to people in my family, especially because not all of them know. Also, it's hard for me to talk to my mom because i'm afraid that if she sees me not doing well, she'll worry about me more than she will herself.

Thanks for everything!!!

~Redhead