detaching from AH
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
detaching from AH
Im 8 months sober, in AA, married to an alcoholic, and have a young family. Last night we were hanging out with people who were pounding drink after drink - his kind of drinking (used to be my kind of drinking). When I was an active alcoholic, he would dig his heels in about going to parties because he was never sure whether I'd stick to only a couple drinks or get sloppy drunk. So, being at a drinking party where he gets to drink, when it was always such a big deal to him to stop that for me when I drank, makes me want to sulk. At least my obsession to drink is gone, because back when I was first quitting, it was hard for me to be around the alcohol.
Talk about more being revealed. I never noticed that he cared when it negatively affected him, but not when it negatively affected me.
Anyway, tast night the kids were having fun, hubby was enjoying himself, and I made the best of it. I can eat, chat, joke around, and find a way to make it fun. It gets boring after a while, and hubby would stay all night long if he could. When we got home, hubby stayed up and continued to drink. He's a cheerful and chatty drunk, but not particularly good company for me. I pretty much ignored him.
I felt kind of empty, wishing my life evolved around sober people and activities, when it occurred to me that how I spend my time is up to me! I realized that I had been waiting for "perfect timing" or divine providence to lead me, when all along it's been up to me to take action.
This morning's thought for the day from Hazelden is about how we usually get what we need when we stop waiting, and begin a course of action. What lovely timing for that message!
I don't have a clear idea of what to do, and I have no expectation for the outcome. I'm going to do the next right things for me, though.
Talk about more being revealed. I never noticed that he cared when it negatively affected him, but not when it negatively affected me.
Anyway, tast night the kids were having fun, hubby was enjoying himself, and I made the best of it. I can eat, chat, joke around, and find a way to make it fun. It gets boring after a while, and hubby would stay all night long if he could. When we got home, hubby stayed up and continued to drink. He's a cheerful and chatty drunk, but not particularly good company for me. I pretty much ignored him.
I felt kind of empty, wishing my life evolved around sober people and activities, when it occurred to me that how I spend my time is up to me! I realized that I had been waiting for "perfect timing" or divine providence to lead me, when all along it's been up to me to take action.
This morning's thought for the day from Hazelden is about how we usually get what we need when we stop waiting, and begin a course of action. What lovely timing for that message!
I don't have a clear idea of what to do, and I have no expectation for the outcome. I'm going to do the next right things for me, though.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
I realized that I had been waiting for "perfect timing" or divine providence to lead me, when all along it's been up to me to take action.
This morning's thought for the day from Hazelden is about how we usually get what we need when we stop waiting, and begin a course of action. What lovely timing for that message!
This morning's thought for the day from Hazelden is about how we usually get what we need when we stop waiting, and begin a course of action. What lovely timing for that message!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 23
At the end of the day, we can only rely on ourselves. Even though I have always done everything possible to make sure that I help where possible, sometimes you just have to distance yourself from people if they prove to be ‘toxic’ for your health. I think that you end up making the right decision for yourself.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Drunk people are annoying except to other drunk people.
When RAH and I first moved in together he used to (and still would off applicable) tell me when we would go out for social events that if the people became intoxicated he wanted to leave.
I used to think it was because he was tempted and he said "No, i just don't have tolerance to listen to drunk babble". LOL - now that I seldom drink I don't either. Nothing worse than trying to decipher slurred articulation and stories that meander with no conclusion.
When RAH and I first moved in together he used to (and still would off applicable) tell me when we would go out for social events that if the people became intoxicated he wanted to leave.
I used to think it was because he was tempted and he said "No, i just don't have tolerance to listen to drunk babble". LOL - now that I seldom drink I don't either. Nothing worse than trying to decipher slurred articulation and stories that meander with no conclusion.
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