Heavy Heart Today/Tonight
 

Separated AH called at 2am to pick him up. My initial reaction "Tell your enabling gf to pick you up". I thought about it and decided to do it but not cross any boundaries. I am a good person but not a doormat. Always willing to help anyone in time of need, but I was not going to let this get the best of me. He still is my husband legally and daughters father and I picked him up and he was lying in a parking lot next to some guy he made friends with at the bar last night. He seriously looked like a homeless person. I did not even know it was him. This was so heartbreaking to see. This man was once my love, my partner and friend and he has deteriorated to this pauper looking specimen.

It was reaffirming for me for so many reasons. I had romanticized his relationship with new enabling gf for so long, it is clear he is just as miserable with her. I am so glad this is not my everyday life anymore. I was only helping on a one time basis. Lastly, I had always thought maybe there was something wrong with me and he was getting it together for her somehow.

They have both done so much crap to me over the years I took a little enjoyment in letting the gf know he had called me to get him and bring him home. It was a little immature but finally put myself first. Hey we cant always be the bigger person! Ha! Slap my wrist friends! I know!

Anyway, after I dropped him off, I blocked his text and email again. I now see I have to leave him behind in every way. The next time I will see him will be at divorce hearing. Grieving comes in waves. I get stronger everyday...

HUGS, Iamthird! You are a strong lady, one of the strongest I've seen here on SR. Lean on your Higher Power tonight, turn your cares over to Him, and rest...knowing that you cannot control the disease of alcoholism. You are a survivor and a caring person to do what you did ( I can't say I'd be that nice) and you someday reap the rewards of being the special person whom you are!

Our A's decisions are theirs and theirs alone-and you clearly are a stronger person for making YOUR choices.l am sorry for your pain-it seems that with an A spouse sometimes we are left with just two choices,both painful ,but we know when we've made the right one.

Honey, I am so sorry. That had to be one painful thing to see.

No advise, just sending you much love and huge hugs!

((((HUGS)))) It sounds like this event provided some clarity for you about how little he has really changed. It may even be what you needed to be able to move on fully.

And... psssst! We all get a *little* snarky sometimes so cut yourself some slack there. ;)

Went to Alanon meeting. Felt like I needed the face to face with others who understand what it is like to have to watch their love one deteriorate before their eyes.

And yes, gives me a little more closure. Very bittersweet.