I have been a "lurker" on these boards for more than a year. I have gained much knowledge about codependency. I have been reluctant to post, because my dh is a sex addict. I feared much of the same types of responses I saw here.

I agree that the effects of living with addiction have SO many similiarities. In the program I have learned to look for our similiarities instead of our differences.

i wish watching porn was my only problem

Some people drink and they don't become an alcoholic. They will never understand alcoholics, and they will condemn them. The same with any addiction. People tell over eaters "Just don't eat so much." They tell gamblers "Just stop." They tell sex addicts "I don't see how that can be an addiction." There will always be people who can't relate to being afflicted or to being effected by the affliction. Those who are ignorant are going to say offensive things. We learn that we have a choice to be offended or to realize that they don't have the capacity to understand, or be understanding. We don't have to accept unacceptable behavior on this board, but we shouldn't let someone rob us of our serenity either. Hugs, Magic

Sex addiction is serious..Child Porn is a added part of this all!! Never think of that? It scares me to death. Don't want any part of it. Had the police in my home once..over porn..don't never want that to happen again! The embrassment of having your home searched for porn or porn material is unbelievable. Will never get over that!! Some one mentions sex addiction....my temper flares!!! :zx11pisse Sorry..but had to rant a bit!!
Teendoc...you are a lovely person. Think you are handling this stituation well. Please don't leave.
A quote from gabigoo,"Teendoc-I just wanted to say that you are a strong and intelligent woman. You have shared so much since I have been on this board and I have appreciated your perspective. Trying to reason with these few jerks that want to cause problems is like trying to deal with my AH- they are so diseased with addiction that they blow out your candles to make theirs burn brighter! I could almost hear what they said coming from my AH- and of course you want to argue...but what is the point...it's like reasoning with a 3 year old! I know I am better than that!
Anyway, please keep posting... you have definately touched my life. I feel that I get a lot of help from this site with all of the support from members like you! Keep coming back!" Exactly the way I feel...very well put! Teendoc,you are a added part of this forum now..and without you alot would be lost!!

wander what would be better pop a flick in the VCR or pop a dozen percocets hmmmmmmm go figure like i said ill trade addictions

Robert,
Why don't you concentrate on making your own life better, and not focus on things you don't know about?

well i might be wrong and i probally am but it eeks me that this such a [ dont know what to call it and be nice] i mean the problem i have and most people here this just dosent compare in my oppion ill leave it alone i wont post anymore on this petty problem

Good.

Sex addiction is far from a petty problem. It is just as destructive as any other addiction. To ridicule it and those that it affects by referring to it as "petty" is callous and insensitive. JG and I have both asked that people either use respect in this thread, or don't post. I hope this will be the last time that has to happen.

Hi Everyone!

My experience here has been so positive. I know I've said this before but here it goes again. Those of you who have partners who are addicted to sex are not alone.

My ex is addictioned to both sex and alcohol. I know that an addiction is an addiction. If your partner felt the need to eat dirt for hours in a day and your life is changed because of this behavior you should be able to say. "My partner eats dirt" and this is how I feel.

I think Patsy really nailed it when she said... "sex is already so very hard to talk about under any circumstances, that misinformation and misunderstanding abound with addiction in general, and then throw the stigma of SEX in there.... and Boom. "

Sex makes people uncomfortable. If you are the partner of a alcoholic, it's fairly acceptable when you go to a party for your partner to say... No, I don't drink anymore. But SA don't talk about it with other people. Mine said, "I can't tell my best friend because he'll just say something like I do it too, what the big deal." But as we all know some of us in this world are addicts and some aren't, there is no reasoning with a disease. It doesn't matter what the addiction is. I realize that for many many people this problem doesn't seem real and I still can not understand the "why" but I'm learning it doesn't really matter why, it just matters that the elephant is in the room and taking up all the space.

I hope that one day this problem will be more accepted so that people like the doc and I don't have to feel like we belong to a secret club.

Teendoc... I'm here with you, and I'm staying and I know that there are many people here who love and appreciate what we were able to learn from what you have shared. Please don't feel bad and thank you so much for starting this thread because I think the controversy has really opened my eyes and allowed me to vent and heal in ways I probably never would have if you hadn't spoken up.

For those who can't understand, I thank you too because at least we are talking and thinking about it and maybe in the future someone will see these posts and find something they needed for their recovery.

Thanks for letting me vent again!

Marci

You know, I really don't know what to say, cause all that comes to my mind isn't nice. Teendoc, please don't let the buttheads scare you off. I don't mind reading your posts just because your husbands "drug" of choice isn't the same as my husbands. As far as I am concerned we all have similar issues to deal with and if we can help one another then that is what this board is for. I hope this helps, and don't justify their ignorance with your intelligent replies.

Teendoc- I just wanted to say that you are a strong and intelligent woman. You have shared so much since I have been on this board and I have appreciated your perspective. Trying to reason with these few jerks that want to cause problems is like trying to deal with my AH- they are so diseased with addiction that they blow out your candles to make theirs burn brighter! I could almost hear what they said coming from my AH- and of course you want to argue...but what is the point...it's like reasoning with a 3 year old! I know I am better than that!
Anyway, please keep posting... you have definately touched my life. I feel that I get a lot of help from this site with all of the support from members like you! Keep coming back!

Remember that self pity is at the core of a lot of addictions. Robert's problems must be worse than everyone else's. That is his excuse for not focussing on a solution. Everyone else has it easy compared to him, so everyone should feel sorry for him. Addiction is very self centered. He really believes that. His disease has convinced him that he can't recover. As long as he can hurt people in this post, he has done what an addict does: pull those around him into his misery. His words are a manipulation. He has come to a group of codies to push our buttons. And he has been successful. He has successfully taken the focus of this post off of recovery, hope, and support, and put it on him. Let's practice detachment and choose not to go there. Just a suggestion. Magic

Bottom line stuff Magic.
Thank you.

awwwwwwwwwwwww im touched

You sure are man. Touched with a real bad case of Oh poor me, I can't stop taking these pills and darn, don't you know it, I think I'm going to spread my misery around a bit. Get me a bit of attention. You're an addict, and therefore I feel compassion for you. But as a man, I've got nothing but contempt for your posts here.
Suggest you get yourself a membership at the local video emporium and spend some happy time with yourself.

dan ohhh dan loosen up have a drink unwind

Robert,
Why don't you check out the NA forum? Or an NA meeting? Life can be a beautiful thing. There is help and hope for recovery. Many of the people on the NA forum can share solutions, experience, strength, and hope with you. Good luck. Magic

:wave: