Will the facility call me?
 

AH completed his 8 days in detox and was transported to rehab today. After not hearing from the facility, I called to make sure that AH and the driver had arrived safely. They did!

Now, since this is AH's first time to go to rehab, I'm not sure what to expect. Will I hear from anyone at the facility regarding my AH? The detox facility called me the first night he was there and once more towards the end of his stay. Since this is different, I am somewhat anxious to know what type of communication with the facility I will have. I am not expecting them to call and discuss anything really, I guess just looking for someone to call me and acknowledge that he is there. Am I being selfish? I have no intentions of calling them just curious as to the "process".

Different rehabs have different rules. If you know the rehab he is in, you might look to see if they have a website. Most times, they will have information for both the patient and the patient's family on what to expect.

Other than that, maybe just try to decompress a bit and use this time to focus on your own needs. While he is working on himself, you deserve some time to work on yourself, too. (((HUGS)))

I am working on myself a little more each day. They do have a website but it doesn't say anything about communication. I know that he has a telephone in his room but I don't really care about that. I would rather hear from someone who works there saying he is OK.

If he isn't okay, someone will call. In these cases, no news is good news.

That makes me feel better!!!!! Thank you!!!

Is there a reason you can't just call and ask them what the process is for their facility?

I cant answer exactly because I went to the rehab facility and met with his doctors, but I think once he gets settled in and they have a chance to evaluate him then someone should call you. But see they may not know your relationship status. I would call and ask what their process is, how can you be kept informed and if you have future questions what to do. He will probably be required to sign privacy papers saying they can discuss things with you too. My husband had to do this when he was admitted.

I think no news means he is OK. If there is an emergency they will call you.

I did not receive any calls at all the first time he was in rehab. He could call me if he wanted to though.
The second time he was in a long term treatment program. We were already divorced but his counselor wanted to talk to me and I agreed. It was only one call.

With my ex, it took several days to get him processed, so I usually heard little the first week or so unless he called me. Eventually they'll try to pull you in for counseling or to make you aware of his treatment going forward, but it really does vary from center to center.

They know he is married to me and have our home phone number as well as my cell phone number. If I don't hear from them tomorrow I may call them on Friday.

Fat chance of them pulling me in for counseling with him while he is there. He is almost 6 hours away from home in another state. I am 110% open to whatever his treatment going forward will be.

Why do you need to speak with them/him right now? You cannot do anything to help other than focus on yourself and work on you.

He is an adult and can call you if he needs to.

You now know he is there and safe. I doubt they would call you. He is the patient and they are caring for him. My hubby's place never called me. I was there at admission and they really advised I come to family day about 10 days in. I did (4 hours away), and there we (group of family members) were asked (as part of the day) to write an impact letter for our family member and once written to call their counselor to schedule a time to come in to read the letter (if possible). There was really no reason for them to contact me. He was there for his issue-didn't really have anything to do with me.

If you wonder how it works, go ahead an call and ask the question about the process, but I wouldn't expect "updates" on his progress. Frankly, progress takes time. My husband's rehab basically focused on trying to help their clients embrace Step 1 in the 28days they were there.

The place RAH went had a strong family involvement component. After he was admitted and met with his counselor for the first time, I got a phone call and then weekly phone calls from the counselor after that. There was a family weekend I went down for (3 days all told) and I thought it was a pretty decent program. There was visiting every Sunday and he got one 10 minute phone call a week. I got a few letters too.

I don't want/need to speak to him. I did not say that I did. All I wanted to know was if he arrived safely and he did. And at the age of 55, yes, I realize he is an adult and I am as well.

No one can really answer that question for you here. It depends on the facility. I do deeply feel for what you are going through, but I also feel that you are getting angry or taking out your anger sometimes on here on the members here instead of putting your anger where it actually belongs.

The best to you and to your H. Take care, and during your break right now perhaps take care of yourself.

I have my answers now.

I am sorry it I am coming across angry because I am really not. I will admit that I was irritated momentarily but not angry! It seems as if people are not reading my posts and comprehending them and that is frustrating because I feel like I am having to explain certain things.

Once again, I am sorry!!!

Bama, it's ok. You are navigating a tough point in your life right now, it's going to be on edge sometimes.

If this is causing you even more anxiety, why don't you call the facility and explain you just want to confirm he made it there safely and see what their process is for communication. No big deal to do that.

Hugs to you. Remember, breathe, take good care of you.

Actually, you wrote that you did call his rehab already to see if he was there. You have confirmation he is there, so I assume you spoke with someone at the rehab. You wrote that you spoke with detox people twice during his 8 day detox. So, are you wanting to know if you should call again or if they will call you?

Rehabs vary as to how much they allow family involvement. Part of the process is the patient being removed from his daily life and immersed in rehab programs without distractions.

Since he is the addict and you have been living with active addiction, what steps are you taking right now to work on you independent of him?

Bama, I understand. At times I had anger. I came here with anger. I just wanted answers, and no one could give me those answers because there were no answers. I was being told to take care of myself, but dammit what about "my" questions?

In time, we answer our own "questions".

Yes, for now, call the facility, find out the rules and regs.

When you need peace and serenity for yourself, know that I found it here.