Will the facility call me?

Old 10-09-2014, 01:34 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thank you all so much. All I was wondering about was whether or not the facility would call me to let me know he arrived safely. I called them to find out. Right now I am "okay". Today has actually been a much better day. For the time being, I am not hung up on hearing any updates from him or the facility. I am going to my Al Anon meeting tonight and have a great weekend lined up with my mom, brother and his family. The anxiety I received from here was due to a reply that I felt attacked me because I had not posted anything asking the questions that I felt were thrown back at me. So, naturally, I felt somewhat defensive. Ready to move forward from this now!!
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:36 PM
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I remember feeling this way. I had no idea what to expect and I didn't like how powerless I felt.

I called several times the first week because i was "worried" about him and wanted to "make sure he was ok" (whatever).

His counselor tolerated me but I think he wished I would go away. He took my calls and he did talk with but I could tell it was a courtesy.

Looking back I can see why. His job was to rehab his patients not spend countless minutes on the phone with the spouses etc.

He called me to schedule the family day and he had me come in for a private session with me and my A half way through

After the first week or so, I let it go. I figured I had to let them do their jobs and quite honestly I was starting to simmer with all kinds of feelings that I have yet to unravel but I wasn't as curious as to how he was doing.
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:37 PM
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Good for you! I hope you get a lot out of the meeting, and I hope you have a WONDERFUL time with your family this weekend.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate accurately on a forum, your right, just keep marching forward!

Many Hugs to you! XXX
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
Actually, you wrote that you did call his rehab already to see if he was there. You have confirmation he is there, so I assume you spoke with someone at the rehab. You wrote that you spoke with detox people twice during his 8 day detox. So, are you wanting to know if you should call again or if they will call you?

Rehabs vary as to how much they allow family involvement. Part of the process is the patient being removed from his daily life and immersed in rehab programs without distractions.

Since he is the addict and you have been living with active addiction, what steps are you taking right now to work on you independent of him?
Correct. I called to see if he got there. I did not call to speak to HIM. That, to me, is where the difference is. I never said I wanted to talk to him personally. I have no plans to contact them again.
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Old 10-09-2014, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
Good for you! I hope you get a lot out of the meeting, and I hope you have a WONDERFUL time with your family this weekend.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate accurately on a forum, your right, just keep marching forward!

Many Hugs to you! XXX
You are so right, it is very difficult to communicate accurately when it is all non-verbal. I really wish this thread could be locked. I got the answer I needed from the facility. There really is no more to discuss regarding this topic because I have the answer!!!!!!!!!

I am marching forward--one step at a time.
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Old 10-09-2014, 02:24 PM
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I hope it goes good bamawife, its good for you to know hes in there and settled. When I commented about the rehab might not know the status of your relationship earlier:

Originally Posted by Bamawife View Post
They know he is married to me and have our home phone number as well as my cell phone number. If I don't hear from them tomorrow I may call them on Friday.
I think sometimes they dont know how family is going to respond to their calls, some people dont want any part, they dont want to know, they may even find it offensive to be called at home, like why bother me ! I think from their perspective it must be like making debt collection calls, never know what kind of response your going to get on the other end of the line. HAHA!

My opinion, you just do what feels right to you, theres not a right or wrong even going forward.
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Old 10-09-2014, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueChair View Post
I hope it goes good bamawife, its good for you to know hes in there and settled. When I commented about the rehab might not know the status of your relationship earlier:



I think sometimes they dont know how family is going to respond to their calls, some people dont want any part, they dont want to know, they may even find it offensive to be called at home, like why bother me ! I think from their perspective it must be like making debt collection calls, never know what kind of response your going to get on the other end of the line. HAHA!

My opinion, you just do what feels right to you, theres not a right or wrong even going forward.
Oh my gosh you just made me giggle!! I can only imagine how many different reactions they get from so many different families!! While AH was in detox, I had the "why are you calling me" attitude. I have moved passed that and totally ok for now not hearing from anyone! Give me a day or two and that may change, though!!
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