He is delusional!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
He is delusional!
Quick recap: separated AH recently had enabling gf he cheated on me move in with him this past month. Since then, hes been a barely there dad. I have continued to get the drunk emails. Leave email open not text because we need some communication for DD6.
I am beginning divorce process, doing my internal recovery, being a mommy, working, church, spending time with friends...whatever I can as not to let the pain of my grief consume me.
I remember 3 weeks ago when I found out she moved in it was devastating. My friend said to me "not sure why youre devastated, he is the same man...he will be back" I really did not believe he would ever try to get back in!
Tonight I get the "I love you" email. I know I am growing because when I read it I was just so annoyed! I did not romanticize it at all. How far gone is he that he thinks I would even enjoy an email like that? It is just so sad to see a man that I was on the same wave length for so long, be so far removed from reality! Oh you love me? How romantic!! Haha...I really can see how strong I am becoming! Baby stepping!!!! Going to sleep a little more peaceful knowing that I have truly made the best choice to walk away and start a new life away from the delusions!
I am beginning divorce process, doing my internal recovery, being a mommy, working, church, spending time with friends...whatever I can as not to let the pain of my grief consume me.
I remember 3 weeks ago when I found out she moved in it was devastating. My friend said to me "not sure why youre devastated, he is the same man...he will be back" I really did not believe he would ever try to get back in!
Tonight I get the "I love you" email. I know I am growing because when I read it I was just so annoyed! I did not romanticize it at all. How far gone is he that he thinks I would even enjoy an email like that? It is just so sad to see a man that I was on the same wave length for so long, be so far removed from reality! Oh you love me? How romantic!! Haha...I really can see how strong I am becoming! Baby stepping!!!! Going to sleep a little more peaceful knowing that I have truly made the best choice to walk away and start a new life away from the delusions!
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Sorry to hear he's neglecting his daughter. What is it about men getting a GF and just dropping the kids? It seems so weak to let another person take over your emotional life. I've seen it happen many times, even with my EX to an extent, although our children were old enough to voice their displeasure.
It's good that his drunken words have no effect on you. Are you ever tempted to forward his emails to his GF?
It's good that his drunken words have no effect on you. Are you ever tempted to forward his emails to his GF?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
Enabling GF has been in the picture for years now. She never goes away since we have been separated. Sometimes I want to fwd his emails to her but he cheated on me with her, She involved herself with a married man knowingly, she called me "pathetic cancer girl" when I had Stage 4 head/neck cancer...to me, she has no moral compass and would rationalize it somehow so I just stay in my lane. I have lost it with her a few times but I have done enough internal work to know, it is not about her.
You can replace her with any Jane Doe and she is a tool to help feed his addiction. I do not want to intertwine myself with her. I used to romanticize their relationship like he left me for her but the reality is, he left because of the alcoholism. I know what she is getting. He has been "unfaithful" to her with me if thats even possible when I the wife! Lol!! Even after she moved in he told me he knows he is not strong enough to be the man I need so he might as well share expenses with her and be able to help me more financially! Oh thanks!!
I am a good, strong woman and mother. I deserve so much more....and that is why I am slowly but surely moving away from the craziness!
You can replace her with any Jane Doe and she is a tool to help feed his addiction. I do not want to intertwine myself with her. I used to romanticize their relationship like he left me for her but the reality is, he left because of the alcoholism. I know what she is getting. He has been "unfaithful" to her with me if thats even possible when I the wife! Lol!! Even after she moved in he told me he knows he is not strong enough to be the man I need so he might as well share expenses with her and be able to help me more financially! Oh thanks!!
I am a good, strong woman and mother. I deserve so much more....and that is why I am slowly but surely moving away from the craziness!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
WOW, iamthird....I can remember. so well, your early threads when you had such longing for that man. You didn't seem to thing you could ever recover from that and go on with your life.
Now look at you.....!!!!!!!!
It is just astounding how a person can change their frame of mind and whole perspective.
It proves that change IS possible!
dandylion
Now look at you.....!!!!!!!!
It is just astounding how a person can change their frame of mind and whole perspective.
It proves that change IS possible!
dandylion
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
Thank you Dandylion! It has been a long road and it feels so good to be on the other side! I will not ever forget the road I traveled that brought me to where I am today and it has taken so much internal work! Yay I Am Third!!!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Wow iamthrid, I cannot BELIEVE how far you have come in your recovery...... I seriously just stood up at my desk, clapped & cheered for you!! (I'm alone so I don't look too weird, lol)
If anyone is looking for inspiration in their own path right now it's worth going back & reading all of IA3's old threads.
You are a shining example of the kind of growth we are all shooting for in our own recoveries, right down to the tone of your posts.
You have moved mountains, baby! (and still going!!)
PS - it's been said before, but I'll suggest it again a little louder this time..... time to change your username to IAMFIRST
If anyone is looking for inspiration in their own path right now it's worth going back & reading all of IA3's old threads.
You are a shining example of the kind of growth we are all shooting for in our own recoveries, right down to the tone of your posts.
You have moved mountains, baby! (and still going!!)
PS - it's been said before, but I'll suggest it again a little louder this time..... time to change your username to IAMFIRST
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