I filed the papers. Can't stop crying
 

Well it's done. I filed the papers for annulment. The sherif will be serving him soon. Once I get that I have to file that. Then 30 days for him to respond. If he doesn't respond then it goes to the judge for a decision. The judge can still decide no. If that happens I'm still married and out of money to file again so I will have to just stay married.

I can't stop crying. I was crying the entire time. Still am. I texted his friends that became my friends and said goodbye. Probably not appropriate but I really like them and will miss them.

AH made a small pathetic attempt to "save" the marriage but when i ask about xy and z he just said "fair enough". So that's that.

I took pictures of myself today to remind me what being with him looks like. I'm usually very pretty especially for my age. Being abused my whole life at least I was pretty. Sounds pathetic but whatever. I look terrible. Have for a while. Puffy eyes with dark circles. So so sad. I'll be ok. The hardest part is over. Time to start healing and rebuilding.

Breathe. You are right, time to start healing and rebuilding. You can do this.

Tight Hugs...

You did the right thing.

Take it one day at a time, it's all going to be okay.

((hug))

((tissue))

Hugs. Every day you will feel a little better.

I know how you feel with the non stop crying- I told my XAP that me and the kids were leaving last Thursday and I cried non stop through until Saturday. But the pain gets easier and I have only cried once today.

(((hugs)))

I'm stealing your quote. My next tattoo. I WILL do what I was put here to do. My plan now is to live and get out of debt ASAP and then move to Central America and have a very different life. The life I have always felt I should live.

((hugs))

It took strength & courage to file. Keep being strong, but allow yourself to fall apart when you need to.

Remember that you're grieving your dreams and hopes, and that's totally normal, appropriate, and understandable.

He was not who he led you to believe he was. He lied about who he was. I know what that feels like. It took me 20 years to convince myself I had the right to leave. Try to remember that you were at least smarter than I was. ;)