xAHs behavior impacting my job... the fun never ends with an A
 

Hi, I know it has been a while... My xAH (still not officially my ex since he can refuse to sign and drag this out for years legally) is facing a lot of local publicity about the behaviors that have lead to his firing.

MY new boss being the unprofessional horrid person she is has approached me twice in the last week asking for me to share what I know about what more will be made public so she can let "concerned" parents know that I have no part in any of it.

I have repeatedly informed her that a) I am not involved so there is nothing to reassure-- I have not been named in anything about him b) That I am NOT going to discuss personal, legal issues that are not about me (or even ones that are) with her and that the issues she is asking me about have NOTHING to do with my teaching

She is being beyond unprofessional and basically bullying me into sharing what I know with her because she is primarily concerned with parents questioning her about me due to his being my ex. Yeah it's a small town.

I am NOT in a public school so I am NOT protected by a union and I took this job to be closer to my kids and took a big pay cut to come here.


I am disgusted and fed up and she has NO checks or balances. She has no one to answer to. She can act how she likes and anyone who dislikes it can leave.

Am I crazy to be appalled that xAH's abusive, insane behavior that has now impacted his students in addition to my kids and myself is now being held against me by my employer?

I feel like I cant get away from him nor his antics negatively impacting my life and more than frustration with him (because I have accepted that this is who he is and I expect it) I am disgusted and fed up with my grotesquely inappropriate boss who is more concerned with appeasing nosy parents than supporting her staff.

Your boss is crazy. And in a private school, probably protecting her own interests. And it sucks great gigantic donkey balls. (((hugs)))

I can understand why you are worried Want to be Healthy. I'd consider looking for alternate employment. It does not sound like you respect this person whatsoever and that any downstream ripples could impact your employment at this private academy.

I am sorry. While you are not protected by the union, you are protected by anti- discrimination laws and anti-bullying laws in the workplace. Know your rights and protect yourself.

XXX

Is there a board of directors at your school? If so, go to someone you trust on the board. Her behavior is outrageous. I'm so sorry you're going through this. xo

I would give Miss Nosey Worried About Covering Her Own Ass this response –

I have talked with my attorney who advised me not to make any statements to anyone regarding my ex husband as this is an ongoing investigation that I am not a part of. If you need to make a statement to any concerned parents about ME then I would suggest you consult the schools attorney on that matter who can then consult with my attorney – it’s really not in our hands.

And if you need to, do consult an attorney - you may have a lawwuit on your hands if she pushes you further or fires you.

I've made it very clear that I am not involved in the legal issues he's facing in any way and that I am not associated w him in any way and that I am all done discussing anything other than my direct work at the school w her.

I do expect that soon enough she will claim to have issues w my work itself since I will not give her what she wants.

Total nightmare.

This is also a woman who openly lies to parents about the education being provided to their kids and berates teachers who question her in any way. She's a bit of a tyrant.

Obviously I am actively looking at alternative employment options.

Just really frustrating to deal w such BS thanks to the ex AH's behavior

Have to admit . . . for fun . . . I would be SORELY tempted to make up crazy stories to tell her.

After watching folks go crazy after Mrs. Hammer has been going around telling crazy lies about me . . . it sort of has a truly comical side to it once one gets detached. (the drama lies are a classic, almost textbook part of Borderline Personality Disorder "Paint You Black," routines with this type Mental Illness)

So tell her that you think maybe he thinks he was abducted by Space Aliens. And probed. [btw, my sincere apologies to anyone who reads this and has been abducted by Space Aliens.]

See how long it takes for that story to get around your little Harper Valley PTA.

oooh, I feel a Sing-a-long coming on . . . .

Harper Valley P.T.A. movie clip / singer Jeannie C. Riley - YouTube

Concerned parents? Sounds fishy to me. I think this concerned headmistress is really just so curious it's driving her crazy.

HAHA! I was just about to post the same thing, Santa! She just wants to know all the juicy details and would then, undoubtedly use them against you. I agree you should refuse to discuss it and let her do whatever she thinks she has to do.

No advice but wish to offer hugs, can't be easy, hang in there.

This was PRECISELY my read on it too. She's about the most narcisstic person I have met second only to xAH. I think she expected me to do as she demanded and I truly feel I have nothing to lose so I've been clear that I'm not playing her nutty game and I even said to her that if that's an issue clearly it's not a good fit. Then she started backpedaling. Typical bully BS.

Today though was day 2 in a row of her antics and if it continues tomorrow I may be less polite w her.

Hammer I laughed aloud at the Harper Valley reference! Thanks for the smile!

You sound strong, girl. You know what to do. You got this.