Praying for Strength
 

This forum has been such a tremendous help to me. I have been reading through the posts and gleaning so much information. I will be attending an alanon meeting tommorow and trying to set up an appointment with a divorce attorney. What is really getting to me now is fear. I am afraid of confronting my husband with the fact that I want to separate. I know in my heart of hearts that’s what I want to do, but I know that he is going to be just horrible about it. I am also worried about physical violence. But I just can’t go on like this. I am finally feeling like walking around with my stomach in knots is no way to live. Afraid to be who I really am. I cannot stand my husband. It is just awful. Everytime we get to an okay point, he turns around and just behaves in such a mean manner that last night I just wanted to hit him. I felt so much anger this morning that I was physically shaking. I am trying to calm down, listening to gospel music but nothing is helping. I just do not want to go home. I know I need to calm down, but it is tough. Thanks for listening.

Hi nicegal.

If you are worried about physical violence, please talk to an expert about how to handle this. A spouse abuse counselor, the domestic violence unit at your local police dept., your lawyer... somebody. There have to be things you can do to minimize the danger. Please be safe above all else. And please feel free to come here and scream when it starts to get you crazy. We understand what you're feeling and it's good to let the steam off someplace.

Hugs,
Smoke

nicegal,
I am glad that you are going to a meeting. Get all the support you can while going through this tough time. Also, be sure you have a plan for if and when things escalate. Smoke is right. Your safety is the highest priority. Hugs, Magic

Hello nicegal,
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. I am praying for you and stay safe!!!!

Take care,
matters

I too, urge you to get professional help with this where violence could occur. You may want to have a neighbor hold some money and a key for the car for you just in case.

I will be surrounding you with the love of my H.P.
Prayers coming your way,
Daffodil

Nicegal, welcome, this board is a great place to be right now. I agree with the folks that have posted. I get this sense that you haven't opened up to anyone about this problem and what you are going through. Please find someone in your area that you can trust and talk to them about what is going on. You need all the support you can get to help you though this. It will be tough, but once you decide to move forward, you can do it. My paryers are with you that you may find someone to help you be strong through this.