Stung

At one of my meetings a few weeks ago the topic was about escapism. At first I was like WTF, I don't escape from life, that's what my husband does with booze! Then. Light Bulb. I find hobbies and activities to distract me to but they don't make my life unmanageable (just my closets cluttered [insert laugh here]). I get caught up in a new interesting hobby just long enough so that I can forget about my problems. I speak a little Spanish, a little French, I can sew a little, I blog a little, I know a little bit about making soap, about so many different freaking hobbies and instruments and cultures I surf and snowboard and run marathons and train for a triathlon now, etc.

I find NEW things and hobbies to occupy my brain so that I don't have to deal. I didn't even know I was doing it though, which is kind of freaky. Now that I've realized it none of it works. I feel so worn down right now and I can't escape it with the prospect of a new thing to lose myself in. In this aspect, recovery blows. What do alcoholics do when they can't drink anymore? I need new coping methods. How do the normies cope with life?

Stung

I have the complete opposite problem. My chest might be considered concave at this point. I envy you.

Jen73

I have many hobbies, I like working on my personal webpage, I do digital Scapkits, rollerblade, dance, take pictures of things, work on things with Paint shop pro. I write proetry and stories. Sometimes its hard to focus on things you enjoy though when you are recovery Alocohol though.

auroraxborealis

As stated ^^ a few threads up, I do a lot of yarnwork. Knitting and crocheting. The WORST part is when I'm bout 85% through. Not far enough to shortcut and bind off, and just far enough to miserably realize how much I have left to go. For me, finishing is so helpful, because I never regret the effort. (Ok, maybe a couple times.) Plus, almost all of my projects are gifts, so it's nice to give them away.

Maybe you could know a LOT of Spanish and French, or a LOT about sewing and soapmaking?

redatlanta

I have a soap and body care business that I manufacture and takes up most of my hobby time. I lean toward artistic hobbies and haven't really tinkered with anything new in a couple of years since I started that portion of my business.

Florence

So glad this one came up again. I've been knitting like a madwoman this winter. My new beau, who grew up in a family of crafters and artists, figured out how to crochet. So we've been sitting around knitting and crocheting together and watching Netflix, waiting for the weather to change so we can do our non-Winter hobbies.

It's kind of hilarious and endearing to look over at the grown man next to me, who is crocheting granny squares.

Sotiredofitall

Raising hand and waving over my head! Yes, I'm a serial hobbiest. Sewing, baking, crochet,cooking,quilting, stained glass, refinishing furniture, raising animals for 4-H, FFA and meat, horse rescue (I ended up with 4 mares/foals from slaughter rescue), horseback riding, goats for milk, cheese, soap, chickens, rabbits, quail, sheep. Painting the inside of the house, gardening (built 14 raised beds for garden), reading. I tend to be obsessive and over-do on all of them. Sigh. I think its a way of coping with both boredom and avoidance. I keep myself well buried.

Thumper

I have interests. I used to do lots of things. That seems like a lifetime ago but maybe just a decade, lol. There was a time before/after my divorce that I didn't even have interests.

I think I need someone to show me how to carve time for a hobby. I'm so overwhelmed with my life. I don't know how you all find time. At this point maybe I'm not seeing the forest for the trees. When you see me here I'm usually cheating work.

I do plant flowers in the summer. I would do a veggie garden with more time but flowers are fun. Summers are so much easier for me in many ways. Ahhh - to live in a perpetual summer......

Last year I really focused on diet and exercise - it became a hobby. I got healthy and lost 40-50lbs. One of my kids got sick (T1D) and I switched focus and stress ate all 50lbs back. :P.

FireSprite

Guilty of this to some degree myself, it took me a while to catch on to this subtle Codie trait. I used to do it with people - my friends were needy & clingy & kept me busy. Living hobbies.

Then I realized I also use it to self-sabotage.... I am a great baker/cake decorator but I don't NEED the sweets hanging around because I'm such a binge eater. Cakes, cookies, brownies - that stuff is my kryptonite. But when I'm stressed, I automatically start reaching for flour, sugar, butter, eggs, chocolate.... & convince myself I'm doing it "for" someone else.

Duckygirl1

I think serial hobbyist are cool well rounded people! And when they sell their beads and canvases to make room for the new stuff I get to score at the yard sale . I planned to join a bunch of meet up groups this summer just to get out and about and make new friends. I'm starting with stand up paddle boarding. Yep. That's a thing.

lillamy

I'm a mix of Seren and Florence. I love being busy, finding new things to do, but I've also been known to fill my time with hobbies to avoid having to think...

I can't say that I really have hobbies these days. It seems like most of what I do is necessary -- including working out, which at my age isn't about looking good as much as it is about being able to function in my daily life without pain...

I have bouts of knitting frenzy -- but I find it hard to locate decent yarn (I don't do any man-made materials, only 100% wool). It's incredibly restful, though, and something I can do while talking to someone or watching TV.

While I was still married to AXH, I was frantically looking for things to occupy my time for a few years -- until it became clear that it was no longer safe to leave the kids with him. I started snowboarding, I took night classes to further my education, I started learning Hebrew... and those things, while a lot of fun, were mostly things I did to have an excuse to get away from him. And now that I type that out, I feel guilty for leaving the kids with a man that I couldn't stand to be around...

isitme

This is so me! I've also just realized that it's part of my escapism and codie traits. I'm a drawer, painter, crafter/scrapbooker, furniture up-cycler, cake baker, cookie decorator, jewelry maker, graphic designer, gardener (terrible at it but I keep trying). I also try to fit healthy cooking, and fitness in there like it's a hobby but I'm not very good at that either. Reading, yarn work, organizing, cleaning.. I'll do anything to keep my mind busy.

lillamy

And it just occurred to me that two of my A friends became serial hobbyists after getting sober! So maybe it's not so odd if us codies do the same thing: The RA's used to be hyper-focused on drinking, when to drink, what to drink, planning to drink, and planning to hide drinking. Us codies were focused on preventing them from drinking and doing damage control when they did drink.

And so they get sober, or we leave, and all of a sudden, we have all this time on our hands. It's sort of like fasting (I do that once a year) -- when you're not eating, shopping for food, preparing food, planning your meals, then all of a sudden you have OCEANS of time...

Stung

I'm having a super difficult time with my 3 year old. I need a distraction to occupy my brain or to look forward to participating in when I have free time. Latest thing is that I want to become a yoga instructor, which is apparently very easy to do (and my pilates instructor suggested that I would be an amazing trainer…I'd never thought of that before but I do really like the idea of it). Maybe I'll actually finish doing that and it won't just be just another serial hobby.

In the meantime, I have to keep trying new things to deal with my explosive child while everyone keeps telling me that she's either normal (she's not) or that I'm doing something to perpetuate her behavior. It's like dealing with the beginning of AH's alcoholism all over again (it was always my fault from people who don't know what they're talking about). I'm trying to be grateful because obviously this experience is going to make me able to handle something bigger? Maybe AH's alcoholism has prepared me to better deal with DD? IDK. I definitely one million percent want to escape.

FireSprite

Do you think your DD would like to start learning yoga, Stung? My DD was 3 when we started & even though she only had a 5-10 min attention span, it helped lay the groundwork for her having her own home practice at age 10. She takes weekly classes too, but thinks nothing of grabbing her mat & doing some down dog before bedtime on days that she's feeling stressed or physically low.

At 3 all the poses focused on things the kids could remember - cobra, lion, bridge, cow, cat, etc. We started working on breathing then too & it helped smooth the path to meditation years later.

Just a thought!

firebolt

Stung, I am a serial hobbyist of well. I think I recall on the personality test thread that you and I were the rare ENTJ as well. I wonder if this is just more of our personality type rather than a retreat from life? I hope so anyway haha.

I want to know everything about everything, and since I can't, i will cram as much info into my head about everything until i feel satisfied I know enough about it to understand it, to do it. and to talk about it to people that know about it. This has turned into hundreds of hobbies for me as well.

I :

fly model airplanes, build model rockets, target shoot (guns, bows, and slingshots), reload bullets, fish, camp, do puzzles (all types), repair engines, knit, play the piano, french horn, trumpet, and clarinet, speak some German, do yoga, cook, bake, garden, can veggies, butcher meat, ride motorcycles, and 4 wheelers, play soccer, sew costumes and curtains, paint (watercolor and oil), draw (pencils and charcoal), write poems, and the beginning (of course) of a novel, roof houses, wire houses, plumb houses, texture walls, drywall, pour concrete, lay tile, repair appliances, build computers, self defense classes, build clocks, woodwork, hunt, pick wild mushrooms and berries, install stereos, stargaze with my telescope, make natural remedies, play fantasy sports, make lotions, deodorant, and candles, and on and on and on

Like I say, I HOPE these aren't to escape from my life. I like to think I am just searching for what I will be great at by trying EVERYTHING. I guess even if it is to hide form life, it's a semi healthy way to do it...for now.

Cheers to you, another Jack of all trades - master of none.

Thumper

Stung,

I have some challenging children too. It can be relentless. The desire to escape, and lack of outside understanding, is real and goes in cycles. I don't think I always handle it the best so no advice but I wanted to let you know I understand. It has been a really hard and lonely thing.

theuncertainty

I completely missed this thread when it first started?... But, yep, I have definitely been guilty of that, too. I think I picked it up from my dad. With him, though, I see it more as he's a 'Renaissance man'. I'm a little less positive with my own pick-up-and-drop habit. What's funny is I was just thinking about this in connection with DS. He's been driving me crazy: picking up a sport or instrument only to have dropped it by the time I found a club or lessons for him that I could afford. Hockey, tennis, fencing, taekwondo, swimming, Lacrosse, violin, guitar. The only thing he's been adamant about is NO basketball. Being the tallest one in his class, I can see why he's fed up with it already. Poor dude is now signed up for tennis through May. "I paid, you're going." He loves it once we're there, it's just getting him out of the house. Ugh. It's hilarious to recognize that he got his serial hobbies from me, and it was driving me bonkers.

I think my most ambitious hobbies were the ideas of building a small BMX-style bike course through our property for DS, building a treehouse, building a garage with a MIL apartment over it, raising ducks for their eggs. Those, however, just made it through the research and learn and the plans-on-paper phases. No materials or equipment were bought... yet. DS saw the BMX course and said he'd be afraid of running into a moose. LOL And he saw the treehouse plans and said we're never home anyway.

Knitting has stuck, and I'm almost done with a beautiful blanket for a twin-size bed for my neighbor's brand new baby girl. I made DS a few sweaters that he got to wear a few times before he out-grew them. And scarves, hats, slippers and socks are all great because they're small projects that I typically don't get board with before I finish them. I'd started a duster-style cardigan for me and dropped it about 1/4 through. Row after row after row of stockinette stitch was just too mind-numbingly boring. I do much better with lace and cables.

Gonnachange

I'm really trying to understand this thread because while the breadth of my hobbies is not as expansive as some here, I don't look at the time I put into them as me escaping from something, but as endeavors that enhance me. Some of the things I'm into are:

Photography
Reading
Running
Cycling
Lifting weights
Cooking
Two years ago I would have been able to add tropical fish, but after about 30 years I gave up my tank.

Each of the above have given me the opportunity to meet and in some cases befriend like minded folks and even when training for a marathon or a century ride I never neglect my family or friends. Sometimes that takes meticulous time management, but the balance is there.

Anyway, Stung great idea for a thread. It's interesting to see what other people are passionate about.

theuncertainty

I don't know if it'll help, but a few ideas came to mind about your DD, Stung. Have you considered finding play therapist? They work with younger children than traditional therapists typically do. DS was seeing one when we were going through the mess of the divorce, and visitation with his dad stuff. It really helped him to be able to get it all out in a kid-way, and she helped him/us figure out how to acknowledge and work through our feelings together or when it might be best to just let the other be.

On the other side, when my nephew was losing his hearing, he seemed to be always getting angry. He didn't know he was losing his hearing because he was so little. He just thought no one was talking to him unless they were mad at him. (i.e. yelling at him)

Diets can also have a huge impact on kids if they have sensitivities or allergies. We've cut way back a lot of processed foods because of some of the dyes and additives. And DS often declines bread because it makes his stomach feel yucky.