heartbrokenK

Well my husband is out. Came picked up his car with his clothes in it. Now trying to bring the focus back to me and my kids. The Codie side of me is screaming inside "is he going to be ok?" "Where will he go?" "Has he finally hit bottom?". The more rational side is saying "you have no control." "His choices are just that- HIS!" "How are you feeling? What do u need?" It's amazing how I've allowed the illusion of control to keep ruling my life for so long. It's time to bring the focus back to me and let go and let god.

walkinganewpath

Oh Heartbroken I'm too new in figuring out much to give you advice so here's a ((hug)) instead.

The hurt in your post resonates with me today. I like to think that by admitting it we're taking a step forward.

NYCDoglvr

Recovery is a process and you have an excellent start. Most of all, be kind and loving to yourself, you've made the right choices. Thanks for sharing your courage and hope!

AnvilheadII

3 days ago he was in JAIL for being a raging alcoholic, punching holes in the walls of your home. and his DEALER was texting.

whatever he's up to now, YOU will have peace in your home. your children won't be subject to the drama and sickness.

have you hit your bottom with all this?

davenport

I can't stop thinking about those questions. "How are you feeling? What do you need?"
I seriously never ask myself those questions. Why don't I want to know the answer to those two questions when it comes to me, myself, and I?
I think I'm going to start asking myself these two questions every day until the habit becomes automatic. I really think putting the focus on ourselves is so foreign to those of us that love/hate alcoholics that we don't even understand what it really means to put ourselves first.
I mean I never ever treat myself as well as I treat most of the people around me. Why?
I totally know what it feels like when the alcoholic leaves and your brain goes into overdrive trying to think of something you can control, which is really nothing.
You're doing great. You've given me a lot to think about just by being honest and sharing your situation. Thank You.

heartbrokenK

I have hit bottom. I can't live and let my kids live with the insanity of active using.