Reading CoDependent No More...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr 
I only saw those things in myself when I finally crawled away. What distorted thinking I had! Cringe-worthy certainly and so painful I went to Alanon so I wouldn't pick the same person again.
The biggest stride I have made and continue to make is accepting people for who they are, not for who I want them to be. It's a process.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I have read it at different points in my own personal path and felt different each time. I think it depends on where you are in the grieving process of your relationship. There is not one person here at SR that has not grieved their relationship with the addict in their life. You are at an anger stage. Others may be sadness. However, most all say the same thing, it describes me to a T.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 154
When I first read this book, I was young (22 maybe) and totally innocent, in a new relationship with a ton of red flags but could see no wrong with my A. When I read it again, I was 25 and in complete denial about my own illness, though I knew at this point how sick my A was. I hated the book, but pretended to love it as a way of proving to my A that I was healthy enough to be in a relationship with him (talk about backwards!!) and that we could save our relationship.
One day, a year or so ago, I broke down and started reading the Codependent Anonymous big book, figuring I was at my bottom and needed any help or advise I could get. I was on the verge of a nervous break down, about to relapse myself into my eating disorder, and completely irrational. Since I had that awakening to how sick I had gotten (read: very), I have been able to see Pia's message so clearly.
You're not ready 'till you're ready. And when you are, it will all make sense. That was my experience anyway. Hard to explain otherwise why a book suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
One day, a year or so ago, I broke down and started reading the Codependent Anonymous big book, figuring I was at my bottom and needed any help or advise I could get. I was on the verge of a nervous break down, about to relapse myself into my eating disorder, and completely irrational. Since I had that awakening to how sick I had gotten (read: very), I have been able to see Pia's message so clearly.
You're not ready 'till you're ready. And when you are, it will all make sense. That was my experience anyway. Hard to explain otherwise why a book suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
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