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Chalk one up to me. Hahaha

Old 09-24-2014, 08:04 PM
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Chalk one up to me. Hahaha

So I have been removing small bits of money and keeping them safe for a little while now. My AH has been off the last 2 days from work and decided to go and buy beer as I won't buy it for him anymore. He asked me how much we had on our account. I told him and told him that was all that was there until payday which was a few days away. Well, AH drains out the checking acct leaving $3 in there. I had gone to bed and didn't find out until the morning. When I confronted him, I get "Well that fing sucks for you doesn't it" right in front of the kids. I didn't engage in the argument further and got the kids off to school then waited til he passed out to go home. The joke has been on him though, as I have had money for diapers, and ice cream for the kids and anything else they have needed the past few days. While he on the other hand has screwed himself over and has been moping. I am so proud of myself right now.
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:38 AM
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Good for you to take charge. Hope you are stashing some of the money too.
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Old 09-25-2014, 07:09 AM
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This is exactly one of the ways that I started to stand up for myself financially, good for you! I guess it is a sort of "can't-beat-'em-join-'em" mentality but it was the only way I could figure out to level the playing field so that I could keep up on the basics of life for DD. You know, silly things, like lunches, uniforms, activities, birthdays...... and like Hopeful said, this is how I started diverting funds into cash savings for rainy days.

It was really a wonderful feeling when, while RAH might have been struggling with his own crappy consequences & having a bad day, I could remove myself from the situation & do something totally simple like take my kid to McD's & enjoy ice cream cones & giggles instead of sitting home & stewing in negativity myself. It was very freeing.
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Old 09-25-2014, 07:18 AM
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Best thing I have heard all day. Keep it up! Empowerment is an awesome thing. You and your children do not have to suffer or struggle because of him.
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:39 AM
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Hopeful I am stashing some. I have a separate checking account as well as an emergency stash as well hidden at home. I have just felt free and empowered the last few days and it has been such a blessing to know the kids and I are ok in spite of my AH. Thank you Firesprite and Sungrl for the kind words. It was so great being able to take the kids out and know I had the cash. My AH is beside himself right now because he did not get the results he expected and doesn't know what to do now. Detachment is such a blessing!!! The "honeymoon" stage of his cycle has vanished as he was not getting the results he expected so now we are starting the mean downward spiral. All I can hope for now is to get some audio of the abuse to use when I leave for custody purposes as my kids do not want him to get 50% custody that is the norm in my state.
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:06 PM
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Opening my own bank account . . . the best decision in ages. I am also saving cash . . . $5 here $20 there. And it is a great feeling!
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:28 PM
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combakkid......Smart thinking. This is exactly how you start looking out for your own welfare.

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Old 09-25-2014, 09:33 PM
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It's amazing how something so small, can make us feel so empowered!
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Old 09-26-2014, 04:25 AM
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Our A's have slowly taken that power from us. It's called baby steps!!!!
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