An Alcoholic Family's Wierd Dynamic
 

This is the story of a respectable, hard working American family:
1. Father is dead- was probably an alcoholic

2. Oldest child is a retired high-ranking city official, now living 12 hours away from her elderly widowed mother. She tends bar in her spare time. She never returned a call from me asking for help to do an intervention for her brother.

2. Second child is recently retired, as is her husband. The husband and both sons like to smoke marijuana. They are planning to move 15 hours away from her elderly mother. The husband also brews his own beer.

3. The youngest child is the only boy, and a late stage alcoholic.

4. The elderly mother stays home in prayer (worry) and medication (prescription mood altering drugs.)

These are my in-laws.

Today, I am wondering if the whole friggin' world isn't on fire.:a108:

Yes, when you open your eyes to addiction you all of a sudden find it EVERYWHERE! Horrible.

Are you my long lost sister in law..lol. Let's see..mother in law in deep denial, passive aggressive, and will never be alone with my child. Talks a big game, still has a job, dr. Said she's 'healthy as a horse'. Drinks a '6 pack a night'. 16 oz. each etc....sleeping pills blah blah blah. Father in law-in long time recovery but 'hides' for mother in law, entangled as my husband would say. He is passive aggressive as well...works 7 days a week to avoid home. Son, moved far away and they never call or show interest in our lives. Of course, I'm in al anon and I'm the 'mean one' detaching in love. I can't control it, change it. We are visiting again this next weekend. Keeping busy...it's the elephant in the room.

I feel like a big meanie too! I get the "detaching" thing pretty good now, need help with the "with love" part of it.
For me, a big part of my program is just not to hurt anybody else, with the emotional stuff brewing just now. I see all kinds of 4th and 5th step stuff coming up...