Guilty Feeling About Having a Drink

Old 09-24-2014, 01:12 PM
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Guilty Feeling About Having a Drink

Since I've left xabf, I've been invited to go out with friends for a drink a few times. I'm invited to go to a wine festival this saturday and spend the night at a lake house with some girlfriends. I told them I was going, but I'm scared.

Firstly, I don't want to tell xabf. My mom will be watching dd. He would see it as an opportunity to come snatch her up.

Secondly, I feel like I am being hypocritical. I do not plan on going down to the festival and getting smashed. But how do you feel okay about having a few drinks with friends without thinking about the a's in your life?

Most of me knows that what I am doing is different, its not a reoccuring thing, its something fun to do with friends and it doesn't have the same goal as when my ex drinks.

Does anyone else get that guilty feeling? I don't typically drink, maybe once or twice a month, since I started detaching from xabf.
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Old 09-24-2014, 01:19 PM
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You are fine. Get rid of the guilt. It's not helping anyone.
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Old 09-24-2014, 01:50 PM
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I can't wait to open up a bottle of wine and enjoy a glass.

I think it's normal to be more sensitive to our drinking and others drinking. Just today, I drove by someone putting a huge case of beer in their trunk. I wondered why they were buying that much beer? I think that will take time to get over...if ever at all.
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Old 09-24-2014, 02:10 PM
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You're not an alcoholic, Blossom, are you? Besides if it is really bothering you, then go and enjoy the time with friends and don't drink. I don't drink much myself because I don't like it, but I've been to plenty of alcohol-centric events with friends and still had a great time.

But again, if drinking isn't a problem for you, and you enjoy it, there is no reason you should beat yourself up over it. You and your ex are different people, and you aren't responsible for his reaction to what you're doing anyway.
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Old 09-24-2014, 02:17 PM
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Once I broke up with my ex, I didn't tell him where or when or with whom I was going anywhere.

Why would you do that?
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Old 09-24-2014, 02:30 PM
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I had wine in the comfort of my own home while RAH was away at rehab. It's not my fault that he's an alcoholic. Go enjoy yourself!
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Old 09-24-2014, 02:42 PM
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For the first month of my separation from AH, I drank wine. I hadn't drank wine in a LONG time. It took the edge off the stress of moving out. Now that it's been six months, I have a glass or two maybe twice a month. When we were together, I generally refrained from drinking as a show of support. Now, I drink occasionally with no guilt. I also think it doesn't hurt for my boys to see me have a glass of wine and keep it at that, because it is possible to drink in moderation!
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Old 09-25-2014, 06:03 AM
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It's fine. You deserve some fun, go have fun with the girls! A is not your issue, it's his.

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Old 09-25-2014, 06:24 AM
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I have a drink once in awhile when RAH goes to work. I dont tell him that while I was out, I went to the beer store or whatever. Some days, I wish he went to work earlier than 9:30p!
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