STARTsomething

My Dad has just started getting this scotch and different types of liquir like that and he just puts some in his soda, and he drinks an average 2 or 3 of these a almost everyday, one time when me and my mom were joking with him I asked him why was he suddenly drinking this type of alcohol ( cause mostly he just drinks beer, and not alot of it either) and he casually answered "I'm trying to lose weight"(by cutting back calories i guess?) but he has been doing this for a while and i suggest water maybe and he says no! Then he started to get irritated alot more easily than usual, but i didn't really think a bit about it because he was always short tempered, but the most recent happening that still upsets me more than anytime he has ever burst out at me, is when my brothers girlfriend came over, we were watching movies, and my dad had his special little drink and he was acting a little out of the ordinary and a little embarrassing so i asked him to be quiet, and he started to get irritated. I asked him another time, this time he was acting totally ignorant and I said "Shut up" and he lost it yelling at me in a crazy rage in front of my brothers girlfriend, I realize this was disrespectful but it just came out, so he started to go on about random things, bringing them up infront of her and after that i just tried to make him realize that she was here and I didn't want him to keep embarrassing himself infront of her, so he finally stopped after a bit of elling from my brother and me, and he just went to get another drink and we went on as if nothing happened. This was a few days ago and I haven't told my mom, although I have a feeling she knows because she wakes up easily and there is no way she didn't hear his screaming. I finally went upstairs be cause I started to cry and I didn't want him to see because I was afraid he might say something else. So i spent that whole night just crying to myself and trying to convince myself nothing was wrong and I should be upset this much but I just can't get over this and the only thing that makes me cry is his violence that I know he has inside of him. If someone knows what I could do, or could just talk to me because I don't want my friends to see me like this and to know that my dad is like this and I have no one else who would take my claims seriously, without brushing me off. PLease help

Ann

Welcome Start,

I don't know how old you are, but I am sorry you are going through this. Maybe talking to your dad, calmly, when he is not drinking and just expressing your concerns (not arguing just talking) might help. But if he has a drinking problem and a short temper, maybe just staying out of his way and trying to work on your own issues might be better.

Have you talked to your mom about this? She probably already knows about him, but she may not be aware of how much it is affecting you. Also, you might want to try Al-Anon, ACOA or Alateen if you are younger, and learn ways to deal with this and keep yourself happy and safe.

Just know that you are not responsible for his bad behaviour, he is. Yelling will only upset you and give fuel to the fire. Perhaps next time he gets like this, just walk away quietly, leave and go to another part of the house or out for a walk or anywhere that you can get calm.

Glad you joined us.

Hugs
Ann

Gabe

Hey Start,
Your concerns about your dad are valid. His drinking is affecting you in a negative way. You won't be able to make him see that, but recognizing it yourself is step in the right direction. Alanon meetings are a great place to meet people who are going through similar things as you are. Coming here and talking about what's bothering you will help a lot too.
Welcome to Sober Recovery, I'm glad you found us.
Hugs,
Gabe

Magichappens

((Start))
You have come to a good place for support. There aren't any answers on "fixing" what's wrong with your dad. But there are ways to deal with it, and you don't have to do it alone. Hang around here a while. Feel free to post and browse the forums. There are people who have been through what you are going through. You aren't the only one. And you don't have to be embarassed here or keep things a secret. There aren't judgements here, only love and support. Welcome. Hope you come back and visit often. Hugs, Magic

Yreva

Start-
I am so sorry that happened. I grew up with an Alcoholic mom, so I know what it can feel like when those kinds of situations arise. Just know that none of this is your fault, and don't be ashamed. There are alot of good people out there that are in or have been in your same shoes. Really try Alateen or Al Anon. It gives you a safe place to talk about what is going on in your house, and no one will judge you. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over his problem. You are a good person and deserve to be happy!
Di

Marcinor

Start

Thank you so much for coming here and posting. I'm pretty new and I'm not sure I have great advice for you, but the advice listed above sounds like a really good place to start. I don't know what it is like to go be in your situation but your story helps me so much because I have children and I have a SO who drinks.

Thank you for reminding me that what my children see and the interactions they have with someone who is dealing with a disease can stay with them forever.

I wish your Dad could see how much hurt he is causing you. I hope your Mom gives you a big hug today and I hope you can make it to an alateen meeting so that you can feel better. You deserve better.

M

STARTsomething

Everyone!,
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much better I feel to see that my posts (prayers) don't go unanswered. I have for sometime wondered if I was just trying to be a dramatic about this and I thought I was only thinking this because, well i don't know why I would think this, but I guess he really does have a problem. I have posted on other web sites and they have suggested Alateen and such, but I don't think I could ever go to a meeting because I can't drive and if I even asked my mom, brother or anyone they would think I was crazy and just trying to make something out of nothing because that's how they treat him and these happenings. Is there a chatroom or Alateen chatroom where I could actually have a conversation with someone about this? once again I thank everyone; Marcinor, Yreva, Magichappens, Gabe, Ann! I have a feeling You might be my gaurdian angels