AnvilheadII

ummm, not to be the Debbie Downer here....but if a man "assualted" the woman in such a manner there would be an indignant uproar and it would be considered abuse.

i cannot ever imagine doing something so disrepectful to another person because I lost MY temper.

firebolt

I would probably be livid, but I wouldn't consider it abuse. Take that with a grain of salt, because abuse has taking on new meaning to me since joining this site....

However, it's hard to say what I would do on the other end of that - especially with so much anger and resentment on both our parts lately in my house. That act may have started WWIII. Who knows.

Then again, and depending on the day, i might of laughed my ass off and started the fun food fight of the century. I still don't think it's abuse - maybe that depends on the intent of the attack, or any verbal slingings that went with it though?

I just know that I had a girlfriend / roommate in college fling a large spoonful of pudding at the side of my face during a serious verbal disagreement once (filled my ear and all). I retaliated by chucking a half a bag of flour on her. Turns out there was some pent up aggression amongst the whole house, and the 3rd roommate got involved with a bowl of cereal being hurled at both of us. Still a very, very fond memory for the 3 of us.

Hammer

Yeah. But that is because you are a guy. Just saying.

But I suppose any reporting cop would have written it up as "A salted" (and peppered.

But really, just aint nothing equal in any of it.

Someday try being a White Man in a Black Man's World. Used to a sort of be a funny joke back in the 'hood.

Consider how mind bogglin it is that a guy is supposed to have won some great victory getting 50% primary and custody with the Mrs. clearly having a Mental Illness.

Ah, well, the Sun still comes up tomorrow.

--------------------------

Back to laughing at CJ . . .

So at least you have a little passion in the relationship. Now just shift from Fighting to Fuuu . . . well you know. I am thinking -- kitchen table. Kind of goes with the Food Fight theme.

lillamy

I know, Anvil, and you're making a valid point.

However -- to a person like me, who spent 20 years walking on eggshells, never raising my voice, doing what I was told, imagining that scene was sort of cathartic.

readerbaby71

Ummm....Anvil's a woman.

Hammer

Yeah, right, sure. And I am guy

come on, now.

firebolt

Afterthought - I don't mean to condone the salad attack.

I have left ABF's and my house during arguments several times in the last 4 years. Sometimes to hurt him, sometimes to spare myself a pointless fight. The first is abusive IMO, the second is not.

I think the spirit in which some actions are done ride that fuzzy big gray area of abuse as much as the action itself sometimes.

redatlanta

So Anvil's a really a boy and Hammer is really a girl.

Hmm.

Anyways excellent post. Did the victim of the assault and salad have much to say afterward? I think that's funny as hell.

AnvilheadII

i just checked, and i'm still female........

SparkleKitty

How on earth have I never noticed that we have a Hammer and an Anvil together in one community? Our very own SR "forge" of recovery!

CodeJob

I walked away after it happened and did not eat with them. I did apologize after dinner, but in a restrained way. Hopefully he finally realized he has been haranguing me for months and I finally snapped.

He was not injured in any way and I do not think even he would equate it to the assault he perpetrated on me a long time ago.

We have marital counseling this Wed so at least we have something new to talk about besides everything not going on. Hammer, technically we do not have a kitchen table. This morning RAH said, "At least we aren't indifferent." I suppose that is something.

Hammer

I know, I know. And every now and then after an All Women Alanon meeting I wander off to to a corner just to check and see if have a p---- in my pants.

But here is the deal.

I took the Cosmo Face Book quiz . . . and it ranked me 97% Female.

Yunno. Cannot argue with Cosmo.

I am thinking you should maybe take that quiz.

Hammer

True dat.


Already broke it?


I consider that MAJOR progress.

Eauchiche

Might be tolerable from someone who isn't Borderline....

AnvilheadII

I took the Cosmo Face Book quiz . . . and it ranked me 97% Female.

Yunno. Cannot argue with Cosmo.

I am thinking you should maybe take that quiz.

seriously??

Hammer

It's a mixed up world.

But not for Lola.

Thinking Outside the Lunchbox: How Absurd $8,000 Engagement Rings Seem to Young Bachelors

amy55

I have gone thru this also. My ex used to follow me from room to room to taunt me. I tried my hardest to detach, sometimes you just can't do that. Whether something takes you by surprise, or it is just some thing that is annoying like someone following you from room to room, sometimes you do just lose it. It is abuse, yet it is, does it make you an abusive person, no it doesn't. Abuse is a long term thing, not a reactionary moment.

I wish when I was pushed to that point that I only used salad.

I left because I was more afraid of what I would end up doing to him. I lost my fear of him, because I lost my love of life. I no longer cared about that. He went at me, I went back at him.

I needed lots of therapy after my marriage, and probably still need more.

jarp

My most favourite childhood memory is about the day my mum fought back. Her weapon of choice was a bowl of dog food, thrown into my abusive fathers face, pie style. I know this doesn't say good things about me, but I still feel satisfaction thinking about it.

What makes it more delicious is that my father was paranoid about germs, convinced people were trying to poison him and he had a particular fixation on dog food. Dog was fed canned food and the cans weren't even allowed in the house!!! Perfect weapon of choice.

Hammer

And When We Were Wrong, Promptly Admitted It.

=======================

My apologies to Anvil, for being nutty with her -- Yes, of course she is a woman -- and very gracious and wise one at that.

And to Codejob -- for the potty talk.

Will try to keep my crazy to my own threads in the future.

Best to you all.

HopefulinFLA

Wa hahahahaha! Codejob that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. You're human, you reached your limit, and over flowed a little, no real harm done.

Did it make you feel better at least? (Giggle giggle giggle)