Inertia
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Inertia
I wouldn't say I am depressed, but for the past two days I feel paralyzed. Totally unmotivated. I don't even feel all that upset, just don't care about much. I have quite a few things I want to get accomplished around the house and I did none of them. Zero. No yoga, meditation, bike riding, nothing. Of course I walk my dogs several times a day because I have to, but that's really it. I sat on the internet and watched a Law and Order marathon. There's also plenty of writing I could be doing too. I am writing a novel for a contest that needs to be done soon. The deadline is November 30th so I better get cracking.
I can't say I haven't reached out to anyone. I talked to two of my best friends and my dad today. We had great conversations. I just didn't feel like doing a f-ing thing. I know it's not good, and usually I force myself to do at least one or two things that I had planned (or not planned). I did do the dishes, and my house is not a pigsty. Tomorrow I hope to get up and just get going. No surfing the internet. I don't think I'll even open my laptop. What a time sucker it is.
Anyway, I am trying not to be too hard on myself. I didn't drink or do anything self-destructive just because I was bored and feeling blah, so that's a plus. I guess I'll just go to bed and try to set my intentions to be happy, serene and productive tomorrow. For me. Sometimes it's just about getting through the day. I guess that's what I needed to do this weekend.
I can't say I haven't reached out to anyone. I talked to two of my best friends and my dad today. We had great conversations. I just didn't feel like doing a f-ing thing. I know it's not good, and usually I force myself to do at least one or two things that I had planned (or not planned). I did do the dishes, and my house is not a pigsty. Tomorrow I hope to get up and just get going. No surfing the internet. I don't think I'll even open my laptop. What a time sucker it is.
Anyway, I am trying not to be too hard on myself. I didn't drink or do anything self-destructive just because I was bored and feeling blah, so that's a plus. I guess I'll just go to bed and try to set my intentions to be happy, serene and productive tomorrow. For me. Sometimes it's just about getting through the day. I guess that's what I needed to do this weekend.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
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Hugs. I know the feeling. It's OK to take a couple days off from life. Sometimes the artificial pressure of feeling that I SHOULD do something is totally counterproductive and makes me not want to do anything at all. Like I just dig in my heels and say eff it and watch the world pass me by for a few days.
Taking care of dogs is good. It keeps you moving. I sometimes feel the same with my sons. As long as I get them off to school and fed, etc, I have achieved something in my day.
As far as the writing inertia, give those morning pages a try. That helped unblock me. The program in the Artist's Way is like a 12 step program for writers and artists. I can't explain how, but it works.
Maybe take yourself on an artist's date (that's in there too) to a used bookstore and see if you can find yourself a copy.
I have never had any success with writing contests. But that's probably because I never submitted any good work to them.
Keep on trucking. Who knows what seeds of genius have germinated during these days of rest?
Taking care of dogs is good. It keeps you moving. I sometimes feel the same with my sons. As long as I get them off to school and fed, etc, I have achieved something in my day.
As far as the writing inertia, give those morning pages a try. That helped unblock me. The program in the Artist's Way is like a 12 step program for writers and artists. I can't explain how, but it works.
Maybe take yourself on an artist's date (that's in there too) to a used bookstore and see if you can find yourself a copy.
I have never had any success with writing contests. But that's probably because I never submitted any good work to them.
Keep on trucking. Who knows what seeds of genius have germinated during these days of rest?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Thanks. I had The Artist's Way years and years ago but I don't think I have it anymore. That was way back when I knew I wanted to be a writer but was too scattered and unfocused to do it. I need to pick it up again. Thanks so much for your suggestions! I'll send you a PM when I actually have something interesting to say tomorrow. Haha
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
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You're always interesting! And there's nothing wrong with a Law and Order marathon. It's therapeutic. And also research. Those writers can tie up a story. I can't imagine having to do that every week.
Speaking of tying up a story, Agatha Christie is another recommendation under the "good" side. Quick reads, and if you're studying it as a writer, you can look for that golden thread running through the whole work that draws up tight at the end and ties the whole story up in a neat little package.
Now I want to go to the bookstore. But I have typing to do. Ugh.
Speaking of tying up a story, Agatha Christie is another recommendation under the "good" side. Quick reads, and if you're studying it as a writer, you can look for that golden thread running through the whole work that draws up tight at the end and ties the whole story up in a neat little package.
Now I want to go to the bookstore. But I have typing to do. Ugh.
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I love Agatha Christie! That is such a great idea. My sister and I read all of her books when we were young adults/teenagers. I would read them again in a heartbeat. So engrossing and well-written. Thanks for the boost. I feel better already.
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Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
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Ugh. Inertia. Even the word makes me feel Inert.
Readerbaby, I was there right along side you all weekend long. I blame my cat. Unlike dogs which require a certain amount of physical attentions, cats curl up in your lap and suck the life force right out of you.
I hope you're feeling better tomorrow, with more energy and the creative juices flowing.
Readerbaby, I was there right along side you all weekend long. I blame my cat. Unlike dogs which require a certain amount of physical attentions, cats curl up in your lap and suck the life force right out of you.
I hope you're feeling better tomorrow, with more energy and the creative juices flowing.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
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Ten Little Indians/And Then There Were None (published under a couple different titles)
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (the butler actually did do it that time)
Murder on the Orient Express (just epic writing)
Writing is such a solitary occupation, especially when one does not have the external validation of commercial success, it's good for me to remember that I just want to tell a d@mn good story, one that people can escape into. Because that's why I love reading.
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (the butler actually did do it that time)
Murder on the Orient Express (just epic writing)
Writing is such a solitary occupation, especially when one does not have the external validation of commercial success, it's good for me to remember that I just want to tell a d@mn good story, one that people can escape into. Because that's why I love reading.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
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Originally Posted by SeriousKarma 
Ugh. Inertia. Even the word makes me feel Inert.
Readerbaby, I was there right along side you all weekend long. I blame my cat. Unlike dogs which require a certain amount of physical attentions, cats curl up in your lap and suck the life force right out of you.
I hope you're feeling better tomorrow, with more energy and the creative juices flowing.
Readerbaby, I was there right along side you all weekend long. I blame my cat. Unlike dogs which require a certain amount of physical attentions, cats curl up in your lap and suck the life force right out of you.
I hope you're feeling better tomorrow, with more energy and the creative juices flowing.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Learning how to accept my To Do Lists are unrealistic and a big source of stress has helped me start to break chores into pieces. I saw a professional organizer speak and I really tried to adapt tackling large projects in 15 min increments. It helps indeed not get so overwhelmed.
I did a huge paperwork file/purge this afternoon ( some in front of the TV too!). Inertia is at times needed to recharge...
I did a huge paperwork file/purge this afternoon ( some in front of the TV too!). Inertia is at times needed to recharge...
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Readerbaby, I struggle with the same and I also have a cat that is happy to curl up and watch movies with me. I also work night shift and attributed my lack of energy to that. However, I recently found out I was anemic. It's good to have some do nothing days but make sure you are also taking care if yourself. Eating right, taking vitamins, etc. Good luck on the writing contest!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
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First thing, your boyfriend just finally went to rehab after relapsing HARD. You must be at least a little emotionally spent and it has to be a relief to finally have some peace from having an actively drinking partner in your home. I've always heard that the greatest exhaustion comes after a time of stress, not during it. So maybe you're not depressed but simply tired.
Second, I think it's totally fine (and dare I say, good!) to have a day or two to completely veg out every once and a while. Twice in the last week, RAH has let me sleep past 8am by getting up with our daughters and caring for them and doing morning routines, breakfast, etc. I felt soooo guilty the first time. Then I realized that my body and my brain actually need the extra rest that I'm getting.
I bet you probably need a day or two of relaxing both your body and mind too.
Sending you hugs, and I'm going to miss your posts and comments while you're not opening your laptop!
Second, I think it's totally fine (and dare I say, good!) to have a day or two to completely veg out every once and a while. Twice in the last week, RAH has let me sleep past 8am by getting up with our daughters and caring for them and doing morning routines, breakfast, etc. I felt soooo guilty the first time. Then I realized that my body and my brain actually need the extra rest that I'm getting.
I bet you probably need a day or two of relaxing both your body and mind too.
Sending you hugs, and I'm going to miss your posts and comments while you're not opening your laptop!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
Yeah I am right there with the depressed don't wanna get out of bed blahs. Im having a hard time getting anything done and the weight of the world presses heavily on my shoulders. And a lot of poor self esteem bullcrap put in there. Sending an A off to rehab is emotionally draining. So is having an A coming home from rehab. Its ok to just sit around for a day or two. Be gentle on yourself.
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This is EXACTLY the word I would use to describe my weekend RB & I'm SO HAPPY to come here & read this thread this morning because I feel a lot less alone in it now, lol. I logged in a bunch of times over the weekend, read & thanked but couldn't get my thoughts organized enough to even respond to anything.
I think I have a hard time just BEING sometimes & this weekend was one of those times. I got a small break on Friday night & somehow built up these huge expectations of much it was going to change my world/attitude/perspective & then found myself frustrated when that R&R didn't propel me forward, taking action in all areas of my life.
IDK where I get these oversized expectations of myself or why I don't see myself setting myself up for this kind of fall, but I see it very clearly this morning looking back over my weekend.
However - I agree with the points that you are dealing with a big change over this last week with your BF committing to rehab & the dynamic of things changing while he's gone. That's a big, emotional deal no matter how prepared you were for it, no matter how much you support it... it's still super stressful.
Also - FWIW & for those that connect in this way, there are a lot of cosmic events going on right now & I think a lot of the emotions I've been having fit right in with all these seasonal changes. The Equinox is tomorrow evening (equal parts day & night) & leads right into the New Moon energy (Wed). The Autumnal Equinox is an excellent time for reflection, taking our personal inventory & sorting through the parts we want to keep/change/develop, a time to focus on rebalancing & harvesting. The Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah is Thurs & also represents a cycle of sorting through the previous year to make amends, changes, etc. for the coming year. Maybe part of what you are feeling is just Natural for this time of year too?
I hope today is better! I set my alarm for earlier, forced myself up & out of bed when it went off. Tomorrow I plan on adding a 15-min yoga routine & start working myself up to regular exercise in the mornings to see if that is the kind of adjustment that will work better/help me balance better for this time of year. I hope you are feeling better today!!!
I think I have a hard time just BEING sometimes & this weekend was one of those times. I got a small break on Friday night & somehow built up these huge expectations of much it was going to change my world/attitude/perspective & then found myself frustrated when that R&R didn't propel me forward, taking action in all areas of my life.
IDK where I get these oversized expectations of myself or why I don't see myself setting myself up for this kind of fall, but I see it very clearly this morning looking back over my weekend.
However - I agree with the points that you are dealing with a big change over this last week with your BF committing to rehab & the dynamic of things changing while he's gone. That's a big, emotional deal no matter how prepared you were for it, no matter how much you support it... it's still super stressful.
Also - FWIW & for those that connect in this way, there are a lot of cosmic events going on right now & I think a lot of the emotions I've been having fit right in with all these seasonal changes. The Equinox is tomorrow evening (equal parts day & night) & leads right into the New Moon energy (Wed). The Autumnal Equinox is an excellent time for reflection, taking our personal inventory & sorting through the parts we want to keep/change/develop, a time to focus on rebalancing & harvesting. The Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah is Thurs & also represents a cycle of sorting through the previous year to make amends, changes, etc. for the coming year. Maybe part of what you are feeling is just Natural for this time of year too?
I hope today is better! I set my alarm for earlier, forced myself up & out of bed when it went off. Tomorrow I plan on adding a 15-min yoga routine & start working myself up to regular exercise in the mornings to see if that is the kind of adjustment that will work better/help me balance better for this time of year. I hope you are feeling better today!!!
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Thanks for this post! I've been feeling pretty stuck myself lately--which made me angry. Over the past few months, I discovered this great idea that I wanted to write into a memoir--and I was working steadily on it--not so much on writing, but on planning, brainstorming, exercises, and contacting people who were there. Then I had some drama with my boyfriend, then the students came back and the library's hopping and I'm working six day weeks every other week, and then and then and then....LOL
I'm starting to wrangle things back to some semblance of order--and get my mind focused back on myself and not obsessing about the other nonsense going on around me.
I must thank ladyscribbler for the suggestion of The Artist's Way, which I immediately went looking for--and lo and behold, our library owns it so I can grab it upstairs on my next restroom break. By the way--being a librarian rocks--just in case anyone wondered
I also took the weekend off--and mostly unplugged--and I'm hoping it was enough to rejuvenate me
I'm starting to wrangle things back to some semblance of order--and get my mind focused back on myself and not obsessing about the other nonsense going on around me.
I must thank ladyscribbler for the suggestion of The Artist's Way, which I immediately went looking for--and lo and behold, our library owns it so I can grab it upstairs on my next restroom break. By the way--being a librarian rocks--just in case anyone wondered
I also took the weekend off--and mostly unplugged--and I'm hoping it was enough to rejuvenate me
Last edited by Search4Serenity; 09-22-2014 at 08:27 AM. Reason: typos :)
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Yesterday I had it all planned I was going to clean my garage. I NEED to do this. It's going to get cold soon and I need to park my car in the garage. What did I do, nothing. I did go to church, but that's it. And I did the same Saturday during the day. Sat and watched B movies with my cats and my dog.
We all need down time, that's OK. I know I am going to have to work a lot harder this week to get stuff done, but that's ok too.
Hugs RB. Give your smart brain a break once in a while girl!
We all need down time, that's OK. I know I am going to have to work a lot harder this week to get stuff done, but that's ok too.
Hugs RB. Give your smart brain a break once in a while girl!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Thank you!! Feeling more motivated and trying to be gentle with myself today. Right now I'm putting together my new vacuum with no phillips head screwdriver. I have no idea where my BF hid all of the tools! Dammit. But I'm laughing. Just made a delicious quiche for lunch and am going to settle down and write after I do some cleaning.
You guys are wonderful. I'm so grateful to call you my friends.
You guys are wonderful. I'm so grateful to call you my friends.
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