WendyOR

I must say, that each time a post is up and people that are working their own recovery and their own sobriety stop to comment, encourage us, help us see things, it is heart warming to me.

I read the responses. I get teary. Not just teary for the thread, perhaps... but for many reasons. I am so happy that you are on a daily basis concentrating on a healthier life... on a longer life. I get teary knowing each of you have a story just like we have a story, and why we are trying to recover as well. I get teary for your strength. But it is more than that.

To go through the struggles of your recovery is one thing. To help others in that same position is another bonus, helping each other as we help each other here. However, to reach out to us, and put your encouragement and advise or words to ponder, I thank you. I thank that you take the time to reach out to us and try to heal some questions in our minds. I thank you for giving us the other side of the story or your view point on it. I thank you for reaching out.... but I thank you for taking ownership.

People in their recovery always give me hope. I know I cannot change him and he can only help himself. I might not be there if/when he does so. However, that doesn't matter.... you give us a success story.

Thanks for taking the time to help us here from time to time. I appreciate it more than you know.

lillamy

Amen to that.

cookiesncream

I honestly debate how much value I have to add to any conversation. Hubbie to his credit told me to keep posting though and maybe if what I have to say from the other side of the fence helps one person its worth it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

dandylion

cookiesandcream......don't stop posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your experience and insights are very valuable.

The most that I have learned about alcoholism...I have learned from recovering alcoholics. (especially the long-timers..LOL)

dandylion

Ali2013

Wendy ~

That was beautiful. It is evident you are a compassionate and understanding person. Thanks for the post and for your (I assume) desire to learn more about these issues. Seems to me like you have a good heart but are also able to protect yourself, if need be. I wish you the best.

Ali

Hammer

Yeah.

My thanks to DoubleBarrel and Raider are my quick come-to-mind.

And everyone else, too.

Rosalba

While my childhood was blighted by my father's alcoholism, and my alcoholic brother continues, well, to be an alcoholic... I'd also make the observation that two of the most wonderful people I've ever known are recovering alcoholics.

And that's quite apart from all the RA's on this forum, whose warmth and humility touches me to the core every time I visit that side of the fence!

WendyOR

I agree with dandylion. I hope that none of you stop posting here. Sometimes we, (myself) on this side of the fence, relate so well as we have all been on this side of things. We get it... we bond through this. However, I am learning so much from the other side as well... and I need that as well.

I think along with the hurt we have received through this disease and loving people with this disease, we get caught up in total detachment. I can only speak for myself on this part, when I detach too much, I feel so very bitter. I feel like I detach from everyone and everything... and that is not how I want my life to be. I do not want to not trust people again. I don't want to lose my compassion for people. I don't want to forget we all have a story in which has formed us into the adults that we are. I want to detach from the behaviors and love myself enough to know I don't have to take that abuse. However, I also want balance in knowing that just because someone has this disease that they are any less worthy of love and kindness. I need to learn what is quacking, and what is really something that is so deep seeded and hurtful to the person with this disease. I need to trust my red flags. I need to worry about my needs and know they are just as important as anyone else that I love.

As for compassion and a caring spirit... I don't think I will ever lose that, nor do I want to.

cookiesncream

Thanks Wendy. I'm only speaking for myself but I have been lucky enough to find a womens sobriety group where there are a lot of us that became "midlife crisis" drinkers. Some of us faced death, empty nest syndrome, and a host of other things. This does not excuse our way of coping in any way whatsoever. We are owning our problems, trying to learn from them, and in many ways trying to become better people in the long run. As for me regaining self esteem has been a very challenging task indeed which is why your comments mean so very much to me personally.

Thank you all:-)

Cookies

HeartsAfire

I'm like cookies in that sometimes I'm afraid to post to you all. Thank you for this thread and the affirmations that it's ok.

I've been where you all are before in that my ex-husband was a sex addict. I understand so much of what you all talk about (addiction is addiction is addiction no matter the drug of choice). Good for each one of you for being here - for yourselves! I thankfully found COSA and discovered there is such power, strength and healing in numbers. Even in the midst of chaos. I even worked the steps with my COSA sisters. Don't stop fighting - for YOU and no one else (although everyone benefits)! It's worth the hard work.

Thanks again for this post and for being here. You are valuable members of this community!