Preparing for RAH's arrival home
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
Preparing for RAH's arrival home
RAH comes home on Friday. And I have worked my ass off getting this house to a good state. There is more that needs to be done and I expect him to help me with it. He helped create the mess and all. Anyway, I have some concerns
1) What to do with prescription medications: I take quite a few psych and medical medications. Most of my psych medications cant really be abused.....I've never heard of any recreational uses for Lamictal or Brintellix (the shiniest new anti-depressant on the market. Mechanism of action pretty much like an SSRI such as Zoloft, Prozac and their ilk combined with BuSpar, a non habit forming anti anxiety med). Neither have I heard of any recreational use for Vistaril (for both sleep and helps to take on the nights before I get allergy shots.....noticed less local reactions when I do this). My allergy meds, I have never heard of a recreational use for steroid nasal sprays or steroid inhalers, or rescue inhalers. And blood pressure medications, well if you want to get dizzy I guess.....(although RAH could probably use going on a blood pressure medication) What I am worried about is the Klonopin I have a prescription for. Before RAH went to rehab he had a script for Xanax which he never abused and actually took way less than recommended. However that's when he was still using alcohol to numb his anxiety-and frankly looking back, the "panic attacks" he woke up with almost every morning towards the end were symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. Anyway, I am worried he will be tempted. Now I am SUPPOSED to be taking 1/2 of a 0.5 mg tab in the morning and a whole one at night. I never take the AM dose unless some serious **** is going down, otherwise I just white knuckle the anxiety. Klonopin makes me pretty sleepy and it has a long half life so I just take the bed time dose. What do I do with this med? I cant just stop taking it. If I did I would be a bloody mess. I used to have panic attacks so bad I would dissociate and everyday anxiety so bad my neck, shoulders, and upper back would just be locked in a giant ball of pain. So. What do I do with this medication?
2) The boxes my mom brought to pack stuff until it gets to its rightful place. All the boxes she brought were ones she got for free-the boxes the liquor store was about to throw out. Should I get rid of these boxes?
3) Wine glasses. I threw away all the beer that was left in the house obviously and his home brew stuff and all the bottles. I didn't get rid of the wine glasses. I feel really bad about that. They were a wedding gift and they are Waterford. Very expensive. Should I throw them out?
1) What to do with prescription medications: I take quite a few psych and medical medications. Most of my psych medications cant really be abused.....I've never heard of any recreational uses for Lamictal or Brintellix (the shiniest new anti-depressant on the market. Mechanism of action pretty much like an SSRI such as Zoloft, Prozac and their ilk combined with BuSpar, a non habit forming anti anxiety med). Neither have I heard of any recreational use for Vistaril (for both sleep and helps to take on the nights before I get allergy shots.....noticed less local reactions when I do this). My allergy meds, I have never heard of a recreational use for steroid nasal sprays or steroid inhalers, or rescue inhalers. And blood pressure medications, well if you want to get dizzy I guess.....(although RAH could probably use going on a blood pressure medication) What I am worried about is the Klonopin I have a prescription for. Before RAH went to rehab he had a script for Xanax which he never abused and actually took way less than recommended. However that's when he was still using alcohol to numb his anxiety-and frankly looking back, the "panic attacks" he woke up with almost every morning towards the end were symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. Anyway, I am worried he will be tempted. Now I am SUPPOSED to be taking 1/2 of a 0.5 mg tab in the morning and a whole one at night. I never take the AM dose unless some serious **** is going down, otherwise I just white knuckle the anxiety. Klonopin makes me pretty sleepy and it has a long half life so I just take the bed time dose. What do I do with this med? I cant just stop taking it. If I did I would be a bloody mess. I used to have panic attacks so bad I would dissociate and everyday anxiety so bad my neck, shoulders, and upper back would just be locked in a giant ball of pain. So. What do I do with this medication?
2) The boxes my mom brought to pack stuff until it gets to its rightful place. All the boxes she brought were ones she got for free-the boxes the liquor store was about to throw out. Should I get rid of these boxes?
3) Wine glasses. I threw away all the beer that was left in the house obviously and his home brew stuff and all the bottles. I didn't get rid of the wine glasses. I feel really bad about that. They were a wedding gift and they are Waterford. Very expensive. Should I throw them out?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello TerpGirl!
You have been really busy! You must be proud of what you have accomplished! These are merely my suggestions and you by far should do what you feel is right. I would go with your instinct here as you know your partner best.
You have been really busy! You must be proud of what you have accomplished! These are merely my suggestions and you by far should do what you feel is right. I would go with your instinct here as you know your partner best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
I take a few meds and put the xanax in a safe place where my BF can't find it. I wouldn't worry about anything but the klonopin. In fact, my BF's doctor prescribed vistaril for him for sleep because it is non-addictive. Have you thought about selling the wine glasses on craigslist or ebay? Or maybe packing them up and leaving them at a friend or family member's house? I also think it would be a good idea to talk with him about what his triggers may be. Integrating back into the real world after rehab is difficult. Give him some time to open up to you.
My BF is leaving for rehab for the second time today. When he comes back he is moving out. I really, really hope he makes it this time. I wish you and your husband all the best. xo
My BF is leaving for rehab for the second time today. When he comes back he is moving out. I really, really hope he makes it this time. I wish you and your husband all the best. xo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Wow you have been busy.
If your husband is going to relapse he is going to relapse. I think there are reasonable things anyone would do in this situation like not drinking or keeping alcohol in the home for support.
You live there too, you have meds and such that you have to take. I don't think I would go beyond putting the meds in a drawer so they aren't readily seen.
Temptation is everywhere. Unless you can blindfold RAH you cannot control this. Its on the TV, billboards, magazines and stores. He will have to get used to it. If seeing a cardboard box with a liquor stamp on it or an empty wine glass sends your husband down the rabbit hole he never embraced recovery in the first place.
You can't control this situation. Its all up to him now.
If your husband is going to relapse he is going to relapse. I think there are reasonable things anyone would do in this situation like not drinking or keeping alcohol in the home for support.
You live there too, you have meds and such that you have to take. I don't think I would go beyond putting the meds in a drawer so they aren't readily seen.
Temptation is everywhere. Unless you can blindfold RAH you cannot control this. Its on the TV, billboards, magazines and stores. He will have to get used to it. If seeing a cardboard box with a liquor stamp on it or an empty wine glass sends your husband down the rabbit hole he never embraced recovery in the first place.
You can't control this situation. Its all up to him now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
Let him do what HE needs to do for HIS recovery and you keep doing what YOU need to do (focus on you and your healing and recovery from it all). THAT IS the best thing you can do for him and you both right now. He is capable of throwing out the boxes if they trigger him, LET HIM be capable. Wine glasses hold all kinds of non-alcoholic beverages,not to mention tea lights, flower heads, glass beads,etc. Your meds are yours, he already knows that. The meds are a simple unspoken boundary. You can either enforce it should he step on your unspoken boundary OR hide/lock them away, which ever works best for you.
Sounds like you are doing great and getting lots done!
Sounds like you are doing great and getting lots done!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I personally always kept our wine glasses, they are nice and I like them. Those are things that are everywhere, you cannot protect him everywhere you go from seeing a wineglass or seeing a liquor bottle.
As far as the Rx, I always kept mine in my purse, but when I had surgery my X stole my painpills I was not really taking out of my purse, so that is not foul proof. Talk about pi$$ed off, oh my goodness.
Good luck to you Terp!
As far as the Rx, I always kept mine in my purse, but when I had surgery my X stole my painpills I was not really taking out of my purse, so that is not foul proof. Talk about pi$$ed off, oh my goodness.
Good luck to you Terp!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
Personally, I think not having the alcohol in the house is important.
Anything else is not going to matter.
If he is triggered by a cardboard box with Bacardi on it, then get rid of your tv, computer, anything connected to the outside world cause alcohol is everywhere.
I say keep your wineglasses. They were a gift and pricey. I would never get rid of my wineglasses for anyone. I am Italian an enjoy wine and my children are always getting me pretty, different stemware.
You can drink booze or beer out of a juice glass, a paper cup , a coffee mug, bowl, thimble, shoe, ....etc
Anything else is not going to matter.
If he is triggered by a cardboard box with Bacardi on it, then get rid of your tv, computer, anything connected to the outside world cause alcohol is everywhere.
I say keep your wineglasses. They were a gift and pricey. I would never get rid of my wineglasses for anyone. I am Italian an enjoy wine and my children are always getting me pretty, different stemware.
You can drink booze or beer out of a juice glass, a paper cup , a coffee mug, bowl, thimble, shoe, ....etc
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
My ex never drank out of wine/shot/highball glasses. He poured booze into coffee mugs, water bottles and Big Gulp cups.
Keep your crystal. You can put it away for awhile if he requests it. Agree with ReaderBaby about asking HIM what his triggers are. Only he knows for sure and it will save you the stress of guessing and trying to create the perfect "relapse proof" environment for him.
Keep your crystal. You can put it away for awhile if he requests it. Agree with ReaderBaby about asking HIM what his triggers are. Only he knows for sure and it will save you the stress of guessing and trying to create the perfect "relapse proof" environment for him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
My husband came home from rehab on Monday and we still have lots of alcoholic beverage glasses in the house, ie: red wine glasses, white wine glasses, champagne glasses, but no alcohol. Right now, our home is a safe place for him in that it is an alcohol free zone. But those glasses are partly mine and were gifts, and they're nice! Maybe someday in the future I'll use those glasses again in my home, maybe not. But I'd wait on giving them up quite yet. My daughter is allergic to dairy but I still have a nice butter dish in my cabinet too. Just because I can't use it right now doesn't mean I may not be able to use it in the future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by sugarbear1 
Have you told him you were cleaning up the place? Or asked him what his triggers are?
As far as triggers, he wasn't 100% on that, he'd only been there 2 weeks when we had the family weekend. He was basically like "stress" when it came to that part. So I hope he learned some real good stress management techniques while he was there because nowhere is without stress. He was mad I got rid of the homebrew buckets though. They were basically 5 gal plastic buckets he was thinking of repurposing into brining he pork shoulders. Before the drinking was really bad he was on a quest to create the perfect pork shoulder (a la Pitmasters). Smoking pork was a damn good talent of his that I hope he will continue, mainly cause I LOVE his homemade pork bbq
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 273
Not sure if this is what you want to hear but here goes (throw rocks at me if you like;-)) but coming from the other side of the fence here are my own thoughts. I realize I do not represent all addicts so take from it what you will.
Hubbie tried to do a lot of "protecting" me from my addiction and ultimately I kinda (okay I DID) go off on a rant about it a few months into sobriety (umm mighta been sooner actually like weeks). For me the only thing I really cared about was not having booze in the house. The rest of it, well we're going to find out temptations and if sobriety is going to STICK we're going to have to deal with life and all that comes with it. I'd keep the wine glasses. If he wants to put them out of sight he will. If liquor boxes bother him let him find other boxes. If brewmaking supplies bother him let him get rid of 'em.
For as many things as well meaning friends and family do, and truthfully I know they are done with love, it still doesn't change the fact that I for one pass by eight liquor stores to and from work. Your hubbie will learn to use every sobriety tool in the box if this is for real. I know that is hard for many friends and family to accept but it is what it is. Nobody can stop a relapse but the alcoholic themselves.
Peace and best of luck to all of you.
-Cookies
Hubbie tried to do a lot of "protecting" me from my addiction and ultimately I kinda (okay I DID) go off on a rant about it a few months into sobriety (umm mighta been sooner actually like weeks). For me the only thing I really cared about was not having booze in the house. The rest of it, well we're going to find out temptations and if sobriety is going to STICK we're going to have to deal with life and all that comes with it. I'd keep the wine glasses. If he wants to put them out of sight he will. If liquor boxes bother him let him find other boxes. If brewmaking supplies bother him let him get rid of 'em.
For as many things as well meaning friends and family do, and truthfully I know they are done with love, it still doesn't change the fact that I for one pass by eight liquor stores to and from work. Your hubbie will learn to use every sobriety tool in the box if this is for real. I know that is hard for many friends and family to accept but it is what it is. Nobody can stop a relapse but the alcoholic themselves.
Peace and best of luck to all of you.
-Cookies
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
