Al-anon without god?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 19
Al-anon without god?
Quick question - I come from a family with no religious background and friend it hard to see the God side of al-anon.
Has anyone else been successful with it and not been discouraged by the wording?
If so, any tips?
Has anyone else been successful with it and not been discouraged by the wording?
If so, any tips?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by Southerncross 
Has anyone else been successful with it and not been discouraged by the wording?
Check these threads:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-support.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...religious.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-atheist.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-agnostic.html
A book you may want to look into is "Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power" by Marya Hornbacher. My local library had it.
I come from a background similar to yours--I was baptized Catholic, went to church for a few years and was all done w/that by the age of 7 or so. I've gotten a tremendous amount of help from Alanon. I'd say the best way for you to know if it'll help is to try it yourself. Hope you do!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 278
I already had my faith before I started Alanon, and all I can say is that it has nothing to do with organised religion or traditional depictions of God as a person. Though I do attend church, it's a very unconventional one, preaches 'Freedom, reason and tolerance' and when I started there, the minister explained to me that if I talk to the members of the congregation, I'd find a wide range of beliefs - but similar values.
Have you ever stood on top of a hill and looked down on a dramatic landscape, or witnessed a storm, or seen something profoundly beautiful, and felt moved by it? If so, that's something of what I experience as God - the notion of a Higher Power is really just something that's greater than we are, and many people will use their Alanon group as their Higher Power. As do I.
It's easier to make wiser decisions when we know there's a whole bunch of people behind us, with no ulterior motive, rooting for us. Some Alanon members never take up the notion of anything transcendent, but still derive considerable spiritual support from the group or anything else which embodies, for them, something outside themselves.
In my home group, it actually states that atheists can find as much support as anyone else.
Many members of Alanon have struggled bravely onwards for years, thinking that they were responsible for everything and that they had to go it alone. Letting go of this notion is a very powerful part of recovery, and a belief and trust that there's a Higher Power backing us up makes the whole process much easier!
Have you ever stood on top of a hill and looked down on a dramatic landscape, or witnessed a storm, or seen something profoundly beautiful, and felt moved by it? If so, that's something of what I experience as God - the notion of a Higher Power is really just something that's greater than we are, and many people will use their Alanon group as their Higher Power. As do I.
It's easier to make wiser decisions when we know there's a whole bunch of people behind us, with no ulterior motive, rooting for us. Some Alanon members never take up the notion of anything transcendent, but still derive considerable spiritual support from the group or anything else which embodies, for them, something outside themselves.
In my home group, it actually states that atheists can find as much support as anyone else.
Many members of Alanon have struggled bravely onwards for years, thinking that they were responsible for everything and that they had to go it alone. Letting go of this notion is a very powerful part of recovery, and a belief and trust that there's a Higher Power backing us up makes the whole process much easier!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I have to tell you that even though my family group met in a church, there was little or no mention of God in our meetings.
I walked into Al-Anon with faith, so it was never a question I asked -- but I know my group had many people who were atheists or agnostics. I think the key is to accept that you can't control events or other people, and that you have to let it go. I see it as handing it over to God, my sponsor (who's an agnostic) says she "hands it over to the Universe" -- in either case, what you do is just stop trying to fix things yourself. The "handing it over" part, I think, makes it easier to do that. You hand it over, it's no longer your responsibility to deal with, it's no longer your responsibility to determine how it's handled. It's like you're delegating it to another department, and then you're done with it and you go on working on the project that's on your desk (your own recovery).
I don't know if that made sense, but that's sort of how my sponsor told me she thinks about it.
I walked into Al-Anon with faith, so it was never a question I asked -- but I know my group had many people who were atheists or agnostics. I think the key is to accept that you can't control events or other people, and that you have to let it go. I see it as handing it over to God, my sponsor (who's an agnostic) says she "hands it over to the Universe" -- in either case, what you do is just stop trying to fix things yourself. The "handing it over" part, I think, makes it easier to do that. You hand it over, it's no longer your responsibility to deal with, it's no longer your responsibility to determine how it's handled. It's like you're delegating it to another department, and then you're done with it and you go on working on the project that's on your desk (your own recovery).
I don't know if that made sense, but that's sort of how my sponsor told me she thinks about it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Me too, I'm agnostic. But I've been doing the 12 Steps for over two decades. My Higher Power varies, mostly it's the collective consciousness of AA. But it works, I pray and meditate. I'm just not a Christian.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 8
At my first alanon meeting, one of the members told me that "god" can be anything. He said when he started, he had a shoebox that he called the "god box". As he was building his relationship with a higher power, he would write down things he was struggling with on a piece of paper ( like worry, control, day to day situations) and put them in the "god box". This was his way of surrendering this over to a higher power. Once it's in the box, it's no longer yours to worry about. Let the box worry about it for you! Give it a try
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 278
Originally Posted by SantawC
At my first alanon meeting, one of the members told me that "god" can be anything. He said when he started, he had a shoebox that he called the "god box". As he was building his relationship with a higher power, he would write down things he was struggling with on a piece of paper ( like worry, control, day to day situations) and put them in the "god box". This was his way of surrendering this over to a higher power. Once it's in the box, it's no longer yours to worry about. Let the box worry about it for you! Give it a try
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I am both an atheist and a Buddhist. I too have struggled at times with the concept of a higher power. I finally settled on a Zen approach. I have a higher power but if you ask me what my higher power is I will say I don't know.
I don't need to define my higher power because any definition I come up with will be inadequate. That and the fact that it changes from day to day and minute to minute. Whatever it is at the time is just fine.
Your friend,
I don't need to define my higher power because any definition I come up with will be inadequate. That and the fact that it changes from day to day and minute to minute. Whatever it is at the time is just fine.
Your friend,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
