FireSprite

Not nutty at all Serenity! I believe in it a lot & DD was so taken with it after her first treatment (at age 9) that she has been taking lessons on mastering reiki for about a year now. (along with things like meditation, etc.) She uses it regularly on our pets - it was most helpful when our female was delivering her babies! DD sat with her just doing the little bits of what she knew & it was such a beautiful, easygoing experience. Mama cat just kept nudging herself under DD's hands & purred & purred during her labor!

lillamy

Serenity, if there is one place it should be safe to say things that make you feel kind of nutty, this should be it.

I've said before that in my alcoholic marriage, I got to a point where I was so desperate that if someone had told me my husband would stop drinking if I walked down to the creek by midnight on a full moon and threw a penny over my shoulder, i would have done it.

Your post reminded me of that, and made me think that "it's about time I stretch and get as desperate about helping myself as I did for 20 years about helping him."

honeypig

I went and got my first-level Reiki attunement this past spring, totally not sure I believed in it. Had a dream the night before that I had no hands but was going to get new ones--!

I have done Reiki on myself, and I do feel a change. I know that it works, but I don't believe that it works, is the best way I can put it.

FireSprite, I think your description of Reiki as "a way to get healing without having to verbalize all the pain" is exactly why I have such a hard time accepting that it's real and it works. It seems too easy!! I mean, really, I can just lay my hands on and ask for the energy and love of the Universe to flow thru me and it WILL, w/no effort on my part? And it knows where to go all on its own, w/no direction from me needed?

Hmm--typing that out, I think that is exactly why I struggle w/admitting that it's real and it works...and exactly why I need to continue practicing.

ladyscribbler

I had similar experiences during reiki sessions. No way to put it into words, but I could tell SOMETHING had happened.

FireSprite

I know, it's so very, very simple & completely intangible.... which is not unlike ALL things spiritual when you think about it, right? I think of it the same way that people think of God - just because you don't see Him, does it make Him less real or effective? It is the belief in it, the ENERGY we put into it that connects. My mystic buddy reminds me: our intentions always exist, deep inside of us, our true intentions are perfectly clear & perfectly connected with that same energy within the universe. (which also means that you can't FORCE someone to accept treatment if they fundamentally resist it)

Have you ever done any chakra work? That helped me to visualize my spirit body a bit better & when I do central column breathing I get a real sense of all the "space" inside of us. This excerpt (if I link right, page 7) is the simplest exercise I have ever used for this:

Working With Your Chakras: A Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual Approach - Ruth White - Google Books

I actually love her book, "Using Your Chakras"... I think this excerpt is from an updated version of the same book. My Native American BFF calls it "becoming hollow like bone" when you have cleared that energy zone. The Universe is full of white light/positive energy & reiki is simply a way of inviting it in to do what it does naturally.

It IS too simple! Tai Chi, QiGong, Yoga, Reconnecting, etc - these & many others are all similar methods/tools that aid us in manipulating energies & have overlapping "hula hoops" in terms of what they do. It's just a matter of what each individual connects with, IMO!

Florence

Oh my gosh, me too. The last few years of my marriage were sexless and nearly affectionless. He blamed me for it. I know exactly when DD3 was conceived because it was dry for six months before and after. There was so much tied into this too, how he was free as could be with complements and well wishes to others, but couldn't be "put on the spot" when it came to me. Here I was literally carrying him I began to think I must be repulsive, and I still really struggle with body issues. I'm strong and fit and fast (and smart, and I hear pretty too), but I do have about forty extra pounds to lose, and I'm sometimes convinced it means I'm a monster. Sometimes I feel just fine and beautiful and loved. I longed to be hugged and comforted and to feel safe in my own house and bed. I found out that whether he was sober (between relapses) or drunk, that was no longer a feature of our marriage.

And I used to cry and cry that I had to pay someone to talk to me, my therapist. It was emotionally crushing.

I'm so glad I left the marriage. I can't imagine living that way for the rest of my life. It was absolutely, almost completely crushing my soul.

But also I'm so glad that I did do that counseling and found out how much I love to bike. I've also started running here and there. I prefer the bike because it's faster and I see more, and it can be pretty social. My new guy is a cyclist also, so we do it together quite a bit.

stella27

Dear Florence, When I would try to talk to XAH about the lack of physical affection in our marriage he would blame me "Just look at yourself." and I would say "do you see this aspect of our marriage changing?" and he would say "no." and i would say "do you think that is fair to tell me that for the rest of my life, I have to be celibate?"

He left us in a tantrum when the last child was 1 1/2 and THANK GOD because at least I have a CHANCE of being loved and appreciated again.

It has taken so much to get over. I am so jealous of your new man - I just loved reading that revelation from you. I'm glad you're having fun and I look forward to the time when that happens to/for me.

pixilation

That reminds me i really need to use my massage certificate. I do need it, i know i do.

lizatola

Funny, but that is the one area that is the worst for pain for me. I am a skinny person (I thank good genetics, because I don't take care of myself as I should)but I hold fat around my stomach to where I look 4 months pregnant (or more, LOL). That article was really eye opening to me!

One of the things I noticed is that whenever I get sick I feel pain in my hips and femur before the rest of my body. When a friend's son was diagnosed with leukemia she was telling me that those are the largest bones in the body where the white blood cells are created so sometimes when we get sick and our bodies start pumping out white blood cells, those bones are going to ache. AHHH, that made sense to me.

I also noticed that whenever I have an anxiety attack, I found that my hips would ache and my thighs would get weak, like jello. It was my number 1 sign.


A few weeks ago I went to the doctor(a spine specialist) to inquire about a bump on my spine, mid back 4 vertebrae under my bra strap. It was painful and since my dad died of a spinal tumor I decided to actually get it checked. X rays showed nothing but he said that all my muscles and ligaments around my spine are inflamed and that the area most inflamed is sometimes due to EMOTIONAL TRAUMA! I was shocked to hear those words come from an MD. Wow.

So, now I'm working with a trainer at the gym once a week, I'm going to yoga 2 times a week, which seems to help, and I'm getting weekly chiropractic adjustments to help the pain. It's about 50% better but this lesson taught me that even doctors acknowledge the fact that emotions can affect our physical health!

schnappi99

Stress and anxiety do weird stuff to the body... back in the 08-09 timeframe I was in a nasty pressure-cooker project where I totally amped up my codie level too. I was terribly stressed working 60+hr weeks and the boss was a closet sociopath I think so I totally let him walk all over me.. classic. So besides the incipient ulcer, PTSD symptoms, weight gain and a frequently recurring cold etc my knees started acting up. I felt some membrane give way once while I was driving with my leg angled & foot on the gas and that knee was sore for a while.

Of course being a self-abusing codie I didn't go to the doc or anything. 6yrs later and in recovery I'm handling things a lot differently.

But weird muscle and bone symptoms from anxiety would not surprise me in the least. My doc always inquires after emotional/mental health after he works me over and harasses me about that stubborn 15lbs he wants me to lose... the 1st 15 were easy but this last bit persists despite the diet and exercise. Guess I like chocolate too much

HealingWillCome

Thanks for the great thread, lillamy. This is the first time in my 50 years of life that I've heard of massage leading someone to break down in emotional sobs. Really fascinating learning for me. I love a massage. I used to ask xah for massages all the time but he was the worst at giving them. He personally hated them and couldn't appreciate my need for them. If I could afford them, I would have them all the time. But I never schedule them because I can't 'justify' the cost. Maybe it's something I need to rethink. I have chronic dull pain in the sacrum/ilium area of my lower back. I always wonder how massage/chiropractic care would help but haven't been willing to sacrifice the money to find out. This thread has me thinking...

LifeRecovery

I am late to the game on this post, but wanted to comment.

I do a type of fascial massage (instead of muscle) called Rolfing. My practioner is also trained in the integration of teh body/mind part of it and her and my therapist are friends (they are allowed to talk to each other).

It has made such a difference in my life.

I thought I had stress in my shoulders/jaw because that is where it hurt. For me it was much deeper than that and radiated from my hips. I always thought my legs worked great because they were strong....they are but I am also incredibly tight and rigid because that was how it was safe to be in the world (I also walked at 9mths which plays a roll in this).

I found that similar to emotions I had to have physical release where I sometimes felt worse before it got better. I would feel bad for a bit, get it all OUT and then feel calm and peaceful until the next part came up.

One part that was interesting for me was that I often heard something similar emotionally from my therapist that I would hear bodywise from my Rolfer and when I do energy work I hear it energetically from them. For example I freeze when stressed (and hold it in my hips), I am tight in my hips physically, and according to the energy worker I have a lot of pelvic rage that I have started to look at in the last year. Hearing similar words from three different disciplines in different ways was an eye opening experience.

I think that often as people pleasers we neglect ourselves emotionally and physically. Doing Rolfing has forced me to be more present in my body. Since I started doing physical work/release I have not had a TMJ episode (where your jaw tightens) etc.

Great post.

FireSprite

Oh yes, Rolfing is an amazing experience, I forgot about that!

Can you expand on this part above? I also walked super early at 8.5 months, as did DD, at 9 months. Inquiring minds want to know, lol......

LifeRecovery

My Rolfer told me that when we walk early it is because we have early leg development (I was walking easily by nine months). We often do not have the head and neck development though that people walking a little later have.

As a result our little hips work much harder....to keep our balance and to keep us going forward. At least for me part of my tight and rigid hips (there are plenty of other reasons too) is in part because of HOW early I walked.

I thought for a long time that my hips and legs were so strong (they are), but they are also rigid and they were so tight I could not feel the discomfort.

It was really interesting when I tried paddleboarding recently for the first time......keeping "bent" knees is okay, but loose legs was really challenging. I was so sore after two hours of doing this (because my knee jerk place is tight in that area). I had just finished a 30mil backpacking trip and was not sore from that.

I think our bodies are amazing. They can teach us so much if we are open to listening.

ResignedToWait

Pelvic Rage would make a good band name, haha.

FireSprite

lillamy

I'm gonna pass that on to my youngest, who's wanting to start a girl band. Pelvic Rage. You heard it here first, people.

readerbaby71

ahahahah!

I have always had hip/lower back problems, but they have gotten horrible over the past year. Really bad. Now I know why. Between my crazy boyfriend and crazy boss I'm glad I'm not crippled! Thank goodness for yoga.

Koch believes that our fast paced modern lifestyle (which runs on the adrenaline of our sympathetic nervous system) chronically triggers and tightens the psoas – making it literally ready to run or fight. The psoas helps you to spring into action – or curl you up into a protective ball.

If we constantly contract the psoas to due to stress or tension , the muscle eventually begins to shorten leading to a host of painful conditions including low back pain, sacroiliac pain, sciatica, disc problems, spondylolysis, scoliosis, hip degeneration, knee pain, menstruation pain, infertility, and digestive problems.

A tight psoas not only creates structural problems, it constricts the organs, puts pressure on nerves, interferes with the movement of fluids, and impairs diaphragmatic breathing.

In fact, “The psoas is so intimately involved in such basic physical and emotional reactions, that a chronically tightened psoas continually signals your body that you’re in danger, eventually exhausting the adrenal glands and depleting the immune system.”

And according to Koch, this situation is exacerbated by many things in our modern lifestyle, from car seats to constrictive clothing, from chairs to shoes that distort our posture, curtail our natural movements and further constrict our psoas.

Koch believes the first step in cultivating a healthy psoas is to release unnecessary tension. But “to work with the psoas is not to try to control the muscle, but to cultivate the awareness necessary for sensing its messages. This involves making a conscious choice to become somatically aware.”

A relaxed psoas is the mark of play and creative expression. Instead of the contracted psoas, ready to run or fight, the relaxed and released psoas is ready instead to lengthen and open, to dance. In many yoga poses (like tree) the thighs can’t fully rotate outward unless the psoas releases. A released psoas allows the front of the thighs to lengthen and the leg to move independently from the pelvis, enhancing and deepening the lift of the entire torso and heart.

Koch believes that by cultivating a healthy psoas, we can rekindle our body’s vital energies by learning to reconnect with the life force of the universe. Within the Taoist tradition the psoas is spoken of as the seat or muscle of the soul, and surrounds the lower “Dan tien” a major energy center of body. A flexible and strong psoas grounds us and allows subtle energies to flow through the bones, muscles and joints.

The Psoas: Muscle of The Soul | body divine yoga

FireSprite

I love it even more for a girl-band!!!

Thanks for that great article RB!

lillamy

Let me add something I learned yesterday -- buyer beware and all that, because I'm not a doctor or psychologist:

The hypothalamus works on processing complex emotions. When your hypothalamus is small (as it is in people suffering from depression and anxiety disorder) or when it's overwhelmed, it reroutes the "emotion processing" work to the amygdala. The amygdala has two settings: Fight or Flight. Either way, it triggers your system being flooded with exactly the hormones that Readerbaby talks about as tightening your psoas.

So then:
And then we're back to fight or flight and trying to produce more adrenaline, which we can't.

Vicious circle, anyone?