gabigoo

Alright, I know this may sound petty but to me it has killed me for a long time... Every birthday or Mother's Day I get my hopes up that my AH will think of me for once and do something nice but everytime I get let down! Is it that I set my hopes too high? I have told him MANY times that I like to be treated well on these days- don't I at least deserve 2 days a year? I always tell him not to spend alot of money on these holidays but my god ANYTHING might be nice. And as always I get let down!! I have told him that it is important to me that he helps our 2 young kids (3 y/o and 16 months) to acknowledge these dyas but he still doesn't get it!!!

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday and I have decided that since he just can't think of anyone but himself I am going to do what is best for me!!! I am taking the kids today to the store to buy MY birthday present!!! Why should I go without because I married a man who has an illness that makes him so self-absorbed and thinks the world revolves around him! I am going to get myself something nice and I will wrap it for my 3 y/o to give to me!!! And you know what... I will be SO happy b/c for the first time I will enjoy my birthday and not feel let down!!!

cwohio

Yea Gabigoo - go for it. Get yourself something nice and by doing so will be getting the best present you can give yourself!

Happy 30th!

cwohio

Gracey

My AH is the same exact way........I do have something that i do that I probably shouldnt share....but heck why not......his birthday is 16 days after mine....so i always buy him something that I really wanted....last year it was tiki torches and a swing for my backyard.......boy am i enjoying his gifts..........lol

I mean come on the guy cant even buy me a birthday card..........no matter how broke we are I always seem to manage to buy him (me) nice gifts..... it is called planning ahead........after 10 years he knows when my birthday is........ya know.....he says I am not his mother so he doesnt recognize mothers day at all.......my kids are suppose to do that...even if it is something they made at home........which they all did and it was so coolllllll..........the homemade cards are the best.........

By the way a very happy birthday.................

Marcinor

Happy Birthday Gabigoo!

Don't forget the cake! Enjoy!

CarrieSueBee

Good for you! My only caution is to stay within your normal budget. I grew up in a household where on my birthday, my parents would say, "Oh remember that sweater I bought you last month? That was your present." That is just not socially acceptable. As an adult, I had to re-learn what holidays were about (not just getting presents) but being thoughtful and finding something to make the receiver happy. This is a nice leson for your kids to learn early.

marriedtoit

You're not alone. When my AH is actively using he refuses to acknowledge me on my birthday, mother's day, or any other holiday. I've tried to explain that it's not the material things that matter (even though he could easily afford to buy me something) but the thought. Make me breakfast, hand write a note, rub my back, clean the house - just let me know that I'm special. When my son got older and realized there were never any presents under the tree for me (but tons for him, Dad and even our pets), he asked if I was a bad girl because Santa never brought me anything. I now go out and purchase gifts for myself and tell my AH he could at least have the decency to wrap them.

And while he feels this is totally acceptable behavior for him, he had an actual "hissy fit" one year when instead of the abundance of gifts I normally get him for his birthday, I got him only two gifts. You would have thought it was the end of the world the way he carried on. The nerve!

gabigoo

Thanks everyone for your advice and wishes! The shopping was not what I hoped for either! Never is when you are shopping with a 3 y/o and 16 month old! I realized that all I want is peace and quite! To be honest...and this is not to be taken the wrong way...but I am fortunate to be financially OK. When I NEED something, I buy it. But it has been so long that I have WANTED b/c I stopped thinking about me and now I don't even know what i want!! How sad!! I drove all over and I could not come up with ANYTHING!!! I ended up at Bath and Body Works and picked up bubble bath, relaxing oils and such! That is never a bad idea! Of course my friend left me a better list on my cell phone with ideas like a new Coach handbag or a day at the spa! Come to think of it not bad ideas! If my AH doesn't do anything then I think a Coach bag is in order!
And I agree I like best the gifts that my daughter makes me. It is not about the value of the gift it is the thought that matter. Why can't he realize that? A perfect birthday would be breakfast in bed, my AH takes care of the kids while I take a nice bath and I chance to read more than 2 pages at a time of Codependency No More!!!

Mich

Happy 30th Birthday ! Enjoy your day!

ChillGal

Happy Birthday to YOU!! Happy Birthday to YOU! Happy Birthday DEAR Gabigoo. Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!!! Make sure you take that bath - if not get a sitter and take it at the spa. Maybe even get a new book - something mindless and just for you. Hope you have a good day. We'll all be wishing you one.

ChillGal

luvmyfurbabies

If I lived near you I'd offer to babysit for a few hours so you could have some time to yourself. I don't have any kids but I am good with them. I relish all the quiet time I have. Of course, my head is always spinning with all the things I should be doing.

ChillGal

Hope you listened to all of us and had a good day. Again HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hugs for you.

myles1

Hi,

Have a Happy Birthday and don't bother depending on him.

You are right about the self-absorption.

Ngaire

teendoc

I hope your birthday was a good one!

I'm thinking of a trip to the day spa as well. Rizzieri's is very close and you get wonderful treatment. Consider it.

gabigoo

Thanks everyone!
It was a nice B-day!
Teendoc- I am one step ahead of you...I got $200 worth of gift cards to Rizzieri's for my B-day!!! I just love going there! I go there for waxing but anytime I can throw in a massage, facial- which are FABULOUS or pedicure I do!!! It is the old stand by gift for my husband! Probably b/c he knows I am going to go there anyway and waste $$$! By the way...I also missed the Voorhees meeting. I still need to go!!