Newbie - Question - detachment
 

As I am new here and also at Al-Anon I have a question about detachment. I have been trying to practice detachment and have taken some baby steps in the right direction.

My question is: My husband goes back and forth - drinking and stopping. The stopping part is what is scary as he goes cold turkey and has had seizures the last three times. How do I detach from these situations? Watch him have a seizure and say to myself, he has to get help himself and maybe then watch him die in front of me? I read the power post on detachment and it helped clarify, but this particular thing gives me the most anxiety.

Thanks for all that can share a reponse or shed any light to help! cwohio

[B]Boy I'm not sure about that one cwohio, For me I think I would help him with his seizures no matter how much it hurt me. I'd help a perfect stranger if I could. Does he need help when he is having them? If so help him as little as you can but still be there to back him up, you can always just dial a number and help can come for him. It is all up to you really, trust your gut feeling and do what feels right. We do not need to walk away when it is a medical problem, just the other little crap that so hurts us. Have straingth in your self and believe that you will know what to do when the time comes. If it don't work out, well then you know what not to do the next time. You will know what to do when you need to. This is not much, I am no big adviser but I hope in a small way it helps. There are so many other wise people here just keep getting your feelings out and your fears and you will find confort here.
Sending hugs your way, Gemini

Thanks Gemini - basically that is my gut instinct. Hopefully some of the others who post on this board will give me some feedback too.

It's always a bit healing to know we are not alone. Thanks for responding.

cwohio

Is rehab a possibility? where he could be in a controlled environment and have medical access if seizures occur? Has he seen the doctor as to why those seizures are happening? I understand your concerns, seizures are scary things to see and you are powerless alone to stop them. Sounds like he wants to quit drinking, and has tried? It it the seizures he feels that makes him go back to it??? Accck.......what a thought. Sounds like a trip to the doctor may be needed. Hugs! I hope it works out. Teggie

CWOHIO... Myself I would prob call 911, prob you have a reason to not go that route??
Do you know much about seizures?? I sure don't. In case you need to know more go to JEEVES or GOOGLE search and put in seizures. I bet you have already researched those. Most are smarter on computer than I am. HUGS clancy46

Teggie & Clancy

The seizures occur because of the withdrawal. He doesn't have them otherwise. It's just been the past 3 years or so that when he tries to stop seizures have been one of the symptoms.

I do and have called 911 each time it's happened. Of course, he doesn't want to go with them and I have been lucky enough to finally get him to agree to go to the hospital and i or a friend have taken him.

Thie last time was about a month ago and after 2 seizures, the 2nd time 911 came and checked his vitals but said they could not make him go with them.

I called the on call dr. for my AH's regular dr. and she said that the situation was not really negotiable and that she would call and make them take him to the hospital as it's very dangerous. I finally told my AH this and he agreed to go to emergency room.

We were ther for maybe an hour and a half and the dr. told him he should probably stay the night as he may have more seizures. Of course, my AH said he felt fine and we were going to leave and he had another major seizure and the dr. said he would not let him leave. He was in for 5 days and basically detoxed. He just started back to drinking in the past couple weeks.

Ok - enuff of my blabbering - just wanted to give the whole sordid tale so in case anyone else responds they have the whole story.

thanks for caring! cwohio