Received PO today
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Received PO today
Last night and this morning my ex left a couple of scary ranting messages that rattled me so much, I went to the courthouse and obtained a temporary PO; hearing is scheduled for later this month. He'll be served in the next day or so.
Although his messages scared the hell out of me, I don't even think he understands what he is doing to us. He's having a true psychotic break...just ranting all kinds of crazy nonsense. Knowing he has a gun, which he should not, and with some of the hostile messages within his rants, I could not stand it anymore.
No one including his family blames me, but I'm still heartsick. After our long and mostly terrible marriage, all of my anger about his drinking, my kids' anger, and his ACOA anger, now I just feel empty and incredibly sad. He was a respectable man once, a professional. He was a father. Now he is the crazy looking hobo you cross the street to avoid. Tomorrow when he is served the PO, I know that his mind is so gone, he will not even be able to comprehend why.
Although his messages scared the hell out of me, I don't even think he understands what he is doing to us. He's having a true psychotic break...just ranting all kinds of crazy nonsense. Knowing he has a gun, which he should not, and with some of the hostile messages within his rants, I could not stand it anymore.
No one including his family blames me, but I'm still heartsick. After our long and mostly terrible marriage, all of my anger about his drinking, my kids' anger, and his ACOA anger, now I just feel empty and incredibly sad. He was a respectable man once, a professional. He was a father. Now he is the crazy looking hobo you cross the street to avoid. Tomorrow when he is served the PO, I know that his mind is so gone, he will not even be able to comprehend why.
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Oh Santa.
I'm sorry. It's hard. But you're protecting yourself and that's the right thing to do.
This here is a heartbreak I know well:
And that's what can bring compassion to my heart, despite it all. It's tragic. It's heartbreaking. And the only positive thing in it all is that when his ship goes down, it won't take you with it. (((hugs)))
I'm sorry. It's hard. But you're protecting yourself and that's the right thing to do.
This here is a heartbreak I know well:
He was a respectable man once, a professional. He was a father. Now he is the crazy looking hobo you cross the street to avoid. Tomorrow when he is served the PO, I know that his mind is so gone, he will not even be able to comprehend why.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Thanks everybody. I'm having a hard time today. Spent my day thinking about him-him-him. Good times (not). I feel like my progress has been set back years, I am so worried and distressed for his terrible physical and mental condition. Paging Michael Corleone: "just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in......"
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Awww, Santa, it's okay. Recovery isn't a straight line. You'll have good days and some bad days, but just keep doing what you know is right. It's going to be okay. (((HUGS)))
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Yes the order says that they would take his gun at least temporarily. He hadn't been served yet this morning and he left me a couple of messages that were haunting and frightening in their hopelessness. He didn't come out and say it but it was clear he was beyond depressing and thinking of killing himself, today. All I could think of is our kids.
I called law enforcement in his area and asked them to please go see him and if at all possible take EMS with them. The officer called back and asked me several questions about his statements and his situation. He said that they would go out there but if he seemed okay, other than the separate issue of the PO, there wouldn't be anything they could do. But that they would see if he seemed like they needed to get a mental health assessment on him. Based on what he's been saying in his messages to me and his family over the past 2 weeks, I cannot imagine that he was in any way able to pass himself off as okay.
That was before lunch and I've heard nothing from anyone since. Which leads me to think that they must have gotten him into the system. I don't think he would have paid any attention to the PO in his state of mind, but would have kept trying to contact me.
I cannot believe how in a space of a couple of weeks happening years after our divorce, my serene life has yet again been upended by his serious problems and my inability to let the chips fall where they may.
I called law enforcement in his area and asked them to please go see him and if at all possible take EMS with them. The officer called back and asked me several questions about his statements and his situation. He said that they would go out there but if he seemed okay, other than the separate issue of the PO, there wouldn't be anything they could do. But that they would see if he seemed like they needed to get a mental health assessment on him. Based on what he's been saying in his messages to me and his family over the past 2 weeks, I cannot imagine that he was in any way able to pass himself off as okay.
That was before lunch and I've heard nothing from anyone since. Which leads me to think that they must have gotten him into the system. I don't think he would have paid any attention to the PO in his state of mind, but would have kept trying to contact me.
I cannot believe how in a space of a couple of weeks happening years after our divorce, my serene life has yet again been upended by his serious problems and my inability to let the chips fall where they may.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Had a call from a law enforcement officer that he served XAH the PO today at his hospital bed. So that's the good news, that the well-being check 2 days ago landed him in the hospital, as I knew it should, and he's still there.
The bad news is my codie guilt at the picture of XAH getting the order read to him in the hospital and knowing the distress it likely caused. I know how I got like this - not being able to stand having people upset with me - I just don't know when the hell I'll get over it.
The bad news is my codie guilt at the picture of XAH getting the order read to him in the hospital and knowing the distress it likely caused. I know how I got like this - not being able to stand having people upset with me - I just don't know when the hell I'll get over it.
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