RAH.....again?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
RAH.....again?
Well AH has been sober for 3 weeks so I guess I can restore the "R" and call him RAH again.
It's been a very rough 5 months since he decided he could handle drinking again with too many ridiculous incidences to count. I was so close to throwing in the towel, I'd just had enough. Maybe we hit our bottoms simultaneously, who knows.
He's now going to AA 4-5 nights a week, and fairly enthusiastically at that. I think he's realized that he's spent is whole life cultivating drinking buddies and has no real friends, I'm all he has(outside of immediate family with whom he's not especially close). I get a sense that he's looking to change his personal culture by getting involved in AA and surround himself with healthier relationships. He's become much more relaxed, calm, and is developing a budding sense of self awareness. I know it's only been 3 weeks, and I'm not being naive about it, but I see some very positive and sincere changes in him. One day at a time, right?
As for me, I'm still going to Alanon. I love the folks in my group, they're all so wonderful! I'm trying to find a balance between enjoying having my best friend back, and always being aware that he could drink again tomorrow. It's tough. I will never allow myself to be completely financially dependent on him, or become more financially entangled with him than necessary. I tend to check the time if he leaves to go somewhere so I'll know if he's been gone too long.(what I would do that information if he was late I have no idea!) I make note of the way his breath smells when he kisses me, and sometimes just the way he stands or the angle I'm viewing his face from reminds me of some particular drinking episode. It's hard to let this stuff go, all though I am so much better than I was a year ago when I discovered SR. I tend to look at the whole world through a different filter, one that is tainted with alcoholism. I just feel kind of scarred, but I'm strong and I know that no matter what I.will.be.okay.
Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome all thought and opinions.
You guys are the best! I don't think I'd still have my sanity if it wasn't for all you great people here at SR.
It's been a very rough 5 months since he decided he could handle drinking again with too many ridiculous incidences to count. I was so close to throwing in the towel, I'd just had enough. Maybe we hit our bottoms simultaneously, who knows.
He's now going to AA 4-5 nights a week, and fairly enthusiastically at that. I think he's realized that he's spent is whole life cultivating drinking buddies and has no real friends, I'm all he has(outside of immediate family with whom he's not especially close). I get a sense that he's looking to change his personal culture by getting involved in AA and surround himself with healthier relationships. He's become much more relaxed, calm, and is developing a budding sense of self awareness. I know it's only been 3 weeks, and I'm not being naive about it, but I see some very positive and sincere changes in him. One day at a time, right?
As for me, I'm still going to Alanon. I love the folks in my group, they're all so wonderful! I'm trying to find a balance between enjoying having my best friend back, and always being aware that he could drink again tomorrow. It's tough. I will never allow myself to be completely financially dependent on him, or become more financially entangled with him than necessary. I tend to check the time if he leaves to go somewhere so I'll know if he's been gone too long.(what I would do that information if he was late I have no idea!) I make note of the way his breath smells when he kisses me, and sometimes just the way he stands or the angle I'm viewing his face from reminds me of some particular drinking episode. It's hard to let this stuff go, all though I am so much better than I was a year ago when I discovered SR. I tend to look at the whole world through a different filter, one that is tainted with alcoholism. I just feel kind of scarred, but I'm strong and I know that no matter what I.will.be.okay.
Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome all thought and opinions.
You guys are the best! I don't think I'd still have my sanity if it wasn't for all you great people here at SR.
I'm glad your RAH has his head on straight.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
It sounds like YOU have come very far in your OWN recovery... even so far as to see where you'd like to make more improvements in yourself. I'm happy to read your update Hopeful, you are SO right that it is truly One Day At a Time for all of us. I hope he sticks to his recovery!! 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by Stung 
I'm glad your RAH has his head on straight.
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