Flavia2

I was offered a full time job today, finally, after temping for almost a year. I should be elated but instead I feel scared/alone/triggered! Feeling it's my fault he left, he doesn't want to be with me, I feel so awful and hate myself for wishing I could call him. I've made so many mistakes. I made him leave. I told him I didn't want to be married. He said so what-file. That really hurt that he doesn't care.
All those days of feeling stronger and then feeling like crap.

ladyscribbler

I've had similar emotions surface when something really positive happened in my life. The bad crap I can take in stride, but good stuff throws me for a loop and actually stirs up more negative emotions than the bad stuff. I think I still carry a lot of feelings of being somehow unworthy of good things, even when I have worked hard to earn them.
Hugs hugs hugs.

lillamy

Ladyscribbler said what I was going to. It's almost like I was afraid of good things for a time; like I didn't deserve them, or like the Universe was dangling them in front of my face just so it could laugh at my pain when it took them away.

Because that's what life was like when I was married to an alcoholic. Life without alcoholism isn't like that. But it took me a long time to trust that.

Big hugs -- and good luck on the job!!!

WendyOR

Things trigger us. God knows that happens to me, and I think most of us... from time to time. God knows I have been triggering a lot lately and I hope that it is signs of me growing.

Keep self talking and reassuring yourself that this is deserved. You deserve greatness. You deserve to be independent. You deserve to be moving forward.

Sometimes it can be change. Change can trigger us because we be accustom to routine. It is also hard at times, when they have been the person that we shared everything with... our hopes, our fears, our excitement, and they are not there for us to share that with anymore.

You are moving forward and that is what your goal is, so big kudos to you and I hope you are able to embrace this. This is some of the good stuff of moving forward. Blessings....

dandylion

Flavia2.....It is so important that we don't allow our past to steal our present..or our future!!

Celebrate this for all it is worth! We must be grateful for everything we have...big or small

dandylion