jessieandme2003

Hi gang.

I felt like creating another 'all about me' post. Part of my ongoing recovery efforts since splitting with my AH over 4 months ago.

My career is going well, I have been recently promoted and am learning the challenges of my new role. It is stressful, but I can handle it since my home life is now peaceful. I now see how having stress in both places really sucked.

I just refinanced my mortgage, signing papers tonight, and feel so good about it. I owned this place two years and just shortened my term from 30 to 20 years, and at a lower interest rate. Yay me.

My daughter, Jessie, is having the best summer ever. Having my focus much more on her, and removing the tension at home has made things so great for her. She smiles all the time now, and is just a regular happy 11 year old.

I have tried dating. I have dated two men. One I am completely infatuated with, and he is far less the better choice objectively. In lower financial shape, not as easy to read as far as his feelings, more needy I think. But he takes my breath away, and my daughter adores him. The other, a past coworker and friend of several years, is kind, sweet, attentive and stable. Good job, owns a home, thinks I am amazing. But I feel more like friends than romance.

So it appears I am probably still not good at making practical choices. I am watching this about myself, and trying to be very very careful.

My ex is into his phase of fearing losing control over me. He calls, when he has fights with his current girlfriend, tries to get me to say I still love him. Gets jealous if he thinks I have a guy, needs to belive he'd still be my first choice. One night was bad, around 11pm, and he was crying and threatening to kill himself if I didn't come outside and talk with him. Had a huge fight with the current girl and had supposedly left her, wanted me to hold him and comfort him and tried kissing and such. Said he hasn't been happy since being with me, and he still loves me and thinks of me always. I did my best to be compassionate, but also make it clear I am moving on and so should he. He was back with the girlfriend the next day. I know he is loyal only to himself.

SO I am making progress, enjoying the new independent life I have, but also exploring the htings about me that make me make bad romantic choices. I know for me it is the deep rooted craving to hear and feel the adoration and passion I seem addicted to.

Gabe

Hey Spunky,
Thanks for the update. You are making amazing progress. Thanks for sharing that. I love good news.
Hugs,
Gabe

Magichappens

(((J&M)))
Sounds like life is pretty good. Thanks for checking in. You sound like you have a lot of insight into yourself these days. I know you have worked hard to get where you are. Like Gabe said, amazing progress. Hugs, Magic

jessieandme2003

I am glad to share my progress, and feel good about myself.

I am also glad to share my honest feelings regarding my addiction to infatuation. I know it has been a pattern for me since a teenage girl.

The things I have learned to watch for are very helpful to me in day to day. Things I read here about codependence (and in Melody's book), and about obsessive love, and about rescuing.

It didn't cure me, it just gave me a program of my own that I can work on to try to keep my own behavior within healthy boundaries.

Rose56

J&M,
So good to hear from you, you sound great. I am so happy for you and your promotion! Way to go!!!! It must be wonderful to have peace at home. Cherish this time with your daughter, they grow up so fast. Take your time with new romantic relationship, easy does it.

myles1

((((((((Good for you))))))))))


Ngaire

Mich

You are a STRONG woman! I am heading into my 3rd month since my A and I split. I am just starting to feel "the" surge of energy to really move forward. You are an inspiration (sp?) to me.