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He relapsed.......

Old 04-05-2002, 03:28 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
GirlfromNC
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Angry He relapsed.......

My husband was sober for 30 days and relapsed on Wednesday.He was very honest about the whole thing but I'm so pissed off that I can't hardly function He doesn't know it because I'm letting him think that I don't give a @%!%@# which is working out great!I've not said a word about it!

The day started off pretty good. He got up and went to work. He finished the job up at 2:00. He came home and I was gone to the tanning salon. He left and went back to the shop to tie up some loose ends. He called me around 5:00 and told me that he went to the store and got a 6-pack. At that moment I could've reached through the phone and pulled his head through it.When I hung up the phone and just let it fly.I cried for about thirty minutes.I thought to myself "How in the hell could he do this to us after all of the crap we have been through with him." I'm still thinking this.

I guess I'm so pissed off because he didn't put forth any effort to contact anyone. To me that was total disrespect to me and the children. Now, I really don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm to do next. I am not his mother nor do I want to play that role. Besides, his mom is a nit wit!

His family....WOW! They are such dummies! Now they are asking me what I did to make him drink again. If the truth be known it has more to do with them than anyone else.They always feel sorry for him and I don't! They baby him and I let him suffer.You know why????? Because he makes my life a living hell when he's drinking. Why would I want to feel sorry for someone who drinks himself into a stupor and KNOWS HE HAS A PROBLEM! I do feel sorry for him in one way and one way only! He needs help and he thinks that he can do it by himself! That is soooo stupid! However when he is laying in vomit I don't feel sorry for him.Does this make sense?
If this makes me a bad person so be it.

Thank you for letting me vent! Now if anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I'm very angry right now and I just want to be Okay.


Holly
 
Old 04-05-2002, 03:54 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Dannygirl
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Holly,

Wow! You must feel better having gotten that off your chest. At least I hope you feel better, because with no offense intended, now it's time to get serious!

Holly, I know, just like anyone here, what you are going through. I am the daughter, sister, wife and sister-in-law to several alcoholics. There are at least 5 of my 8 brothers-in-law that I wuold consider to be alcoholics, not to mention my own father, my brothers (2), and my own husband!

BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! You didn't CAUSE this to happen, and neither did his family. All you can do is focus on your own actions and reactions.

((( HOLLY )))


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**Dannygirl**
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Old 04-05-2002, 05:16 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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HI Holly!

Relapses are common in early recovery. It doesn't mean the war is over. Just look at how much trouble YOU are having letting go. Do you think giving up an addictive substance is easier?

You are absolutely right to leave an alcoholic lying in his own vomit. People should face the natural consequences of their actions, not have someone come behind them and clean it up.

It is impossible to know where "the bottom" is going to be for another person. Your husband will only be able to quit when his motivation is strong enough. I know exactly how maddening it is that the difficulties the drinking has caused his family is not motivation enough.

You did the best thing. You controlled yourself and let your anger out here. Applause!

Hugs,
Smoke
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