F50

I posted this in the New Users section, a couple of members suggested going to this forum so i pasted here. Any input would greatly be appreciated.


hi guys,

Just found this forum few days ago and have been browsing various topics. Well, the reason I joined is not for myself, but for an alcoholic father. I'm kind of confused as to what to do next in order to help him so I turned to the internet to look for some info.

My dad has been abusing A for about 17 years or so. I'm sure most of you will recognize the pattern of constant ups and downs as the years went by. Sometimes much worse than others. He also has not been able to hold down a steady job in the past 10 years because of his A problem. We've (my mom and I) have tried various things over the years but most of it seemed not to work. Tried AA, seeing a doctor, A. physiatrist, detox, hospital visits but he still has a problem with A.

I know this info is pretty limited, but just wondering if i've come to the right place for a little info, maybe some adivse.

thanks in advance!

Gabe

Hi F50,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. There isn't anything you can do to make your father stop drinking. He has to want that for himself first.
But there are several things you can do to help you cope with his drinking. Coming here was one of them.
There are a lot of people here who understand what you're going through.
I'm glad you found us.
Gabe

F50

Gabe, thanks for your reply.

Actually, he's been doing alright until recently. He went about 5 months without a drink, but the past few weeks he's been slipping again. At times it really seems like he wants to quit, but sometimes he just cannot stay away from the A. I want him to get some extra help in order to help him through those times, but i don't know what is the best method for him. I can provide more background info on his Alcoholism if that is needed.

thanks again everyone.

Magichappens

Hi F50,
In Al-Anon the first thing they taught me was that we can't cure it, we can't control it, and we didn't cause it. We learn to let the alcoholic be responsible for their decisions and actions, and the consequences of those actions. In Al-Anon, we take the focus off the alcoholic and put it on us. We have to learn that we can only be responsible for our own happiness and serenity. Al-Anon gives us tools and guidance to find peace whether the alcoholic chooses recovery or not. Your father may have to wrestle with this for a while longer. That doesn't mean you have to be pulled down by his struggle. There is support and guidance if you want it. You may want to consider checking out some Al-Anon meetings in your area. The effects of alcoholism on family members runs deep. Al-Anon gives us tools to help us become whole and heal, so we can break the cycle of dysfunction. This forum is full of people who are dealing with loved ones in the grip of this problem. Feel free to browse, share, post, or vent. You don't have to go through this alone. There is some great information in the powerposts at the top of the forum. You may also want to check out the Adult Children of Alcoholics forum. Hugs, Magic