christinastar10

Hello,

So today xabf wanted to talk about visitations for our son. He is also wanting us to be friends and talk every day about our son. I told him we can't be friends and I can't talk to him everyday. He didn't understand why I couldn't talk to him everyday. I started to get upset and I just started to cry. I didn't know why I started to cry but it just came out. Obviously I still hurt by our situation. Just when I thought I was doing so much better, tears just roll out.

I'm really upset that I cried in front of him. That's the last thing I wanted him to see.

Thanks for listening.

Pia

christinastar10- Good for you to tell him no. If he doesn't get it that is his problem not yours.

Be gentle to yourself I have cried many many times and he never got it.

bringiton

Hi Christinastar,

I dont know your story but I know enough to assume he was the last person you wanted to feel vulnerable in front of. Sometimes are emotions are so strong you just can't lie to yourself that you are fine during that moment. Just wanted to send you hugs and say sorry you are feeling bad.

hopeful4

Its ok to cry, your human.

XXX

christinastar10

Thank you All!

I just wish I was able to hold the tears. I just didn't want to cry in front of him.

Pia

christinastar10- It's hard not to cry but one day there will come a point when you don't cry.

It takes time. Pick your chin up and keep moving forward

NYCDoglvr

Of course you're hurt and it's healthy to cry, so let loose. Just maintain your boundaries of as little contact as possible. If you continue contact you'll stay stuck.

Butterfly

Don't be so hard on yourself the hurt pain and devastation addiction causes is unbearable it's normal to cry. I cry every time I speak to my separated ah I can't hold them back, just when I feel I am getting stronger!!

Well done though on sticking to your boundary!!

CodeJob

Hi Christina, I think you are crying for the ideal partner you wanted? It is like he wants to play at it and you see the falsehood and refuse.

Pick up some foam swords or bats. Fun for you and your little bud... I am also a big fan of Whac a Mole...

Sasha4

I had to move slowly with my little daughter and my ex.
He moved straight out of our house into her house and wanted to see our daughter with her 2 kids.

I told him no.
I told him I couldn't cope with it and until I could he either did not see my daughter or he did it alone just the 2 of them.

When he asked for a time frame I said it could be next month it could be 3 years away and that he would have to wait or I would make things really hard for him.

Now I tell him very little.
I share very little with him.
My daughter stays with him one night a week.
She comes home and never mentions what they have done.

I felt that my daughters happiness and my happiness came first.
It always will do.
It will never change.

He is not my friend. I have lots of friends without needing him as a friend.
But I am civil to him.
The less contact I have had with him, the easier I have found it to readjust and move forward.
If he drops my daughter off and tries to stay I actually say 'goodbye, we have to go now, so you need to leave'.

He does not like it but its tough. I could not give 2 hoots if he finds it difficult.

Put you and your child's needs above his.
Look after you both first.

And remember you won't always feel like this, everyday you do will go towards you feeling better and stronger.

As for the tears, so what. You are a nice, decent person and crying is what nice, decent people do.

I wish you the best xxxx