prodigal

I didn't realize it until a few minutes after 10 a.m. yesterday when I woke up that my AH had been up and boozing. He suggested we just "lay in bed for awhile." After about a half hour I got up. I finally got him up around 2 p.m. It was then that I realized he hadn't come back to bed to sleep - he had simply passed out drunk. What never fails to amaze me is the deniall A's go to - like he came home from work tonight and couldn't figure out why he was tired. (Well, DUH, he was buzzed all day yesterday - that would exhaust anyone.)

I suppose the only part of this that I still can't work through is listening - or trying not to listen - to him talk over me as he rambles on in a one-man conversation. He was just buzzed enough not to become argumentative - he was quite docile and compliant. Yet the boredom of dealing with someone who just blabbed on and on without hearing a word I said, and the fact that the world is always peachy-keen and everything will be okay sickens me.

Yet I continue to believe the alcoholic aspect of his personality: "Don't worry about the money, hon, we just need to be careful of our spending." Then the sober side comes home from work tonight and I'm once again faced with this neurotic and nervous little man who is suddenly obsessing about our "money problems" once again.

Jeesh! I get so sick of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde aspect of this disease!!!!

bjmt

My AH is the same. It does get very old. He wonders why he is always tired.

moonkat

I can totally relate. My AH passes out on the toilet, which I hate because we only have one. If the rest of us didn't have to use it, I would leave his drunken butt there.

Here is a funny story about that, one night he was laying on the kitchen floor between the hallway and kitchen blocking the passage. My two year old was trying to get his attention, telling him to wake up (how sad) and she picked up his head by his hair in front and then dropped it. We have saltillo tile (which is like concrete for those who don't know) and you better believe that woke him up. I just couldn't stop laughing. I think it's the nasty angry side of me that thinks this is funny.

I also hate the jekyll/hyde thing. He takes everything out on his step daughter, my daughter. He knows she cant fight back.

splendra

Last night I was out late with my son as we were driving this man stumbled off the sidewalk. I am sure he was drunk. I had to serve to miss him. My son asked if we should stop and help him. We backed up a little and I yelled to him to sit down or something he kept walking and stumbling I said a silent prayer for the ones who still suffers and kept on going We saw another stumbler who seemed to be in a little more control. My son lives with his dad so I was taking him home as we got near his house we saw another person stumbling down the road. Then on my way back home a man almost walked out in front of me again I had to stop my car so he could get by. I saw him crossing the street and he made it across then he stepped back into the street. My codie self wanted to make him get in my car so I could take him home unfortunatly I felt like it was too dangerous not knowing him and being in a very bad area of town. But the good thing was I found myself praying again whick for me is always good. I am on the 11th step again so I consider this an event that contributed to my study of the 11th step.

Magichappens

This is why we have to focus on us. Find something to focus on that we enjoy, that brings happiness to us. I had to reach out and make new friends. Al-Anon gave me that opportunity. Alcoholism keeps us glued to it. It corners us in our own home and imprisons us. Breaking out is hard. Alcoholism will pitch a fit. It likes being the center of our life. But we deserve a happy life. Just for today, I pray that each one of us can have the courage to do one thing to move alcoholism just a little bit from the center. Call a friend, go to a meeting, read a book that helps us. That one thing can make so much difference. Hugs, Magic