out
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
Both him and his step mom are ones to scheme to get their way, I'm going to tell him ill meet him at their house and if he doesn't like it then he doesn't have to see her.
By the way it doesn't matter what the possible custody issues are at this point. Nothing has been filed, it will be simply his word against yours as to how accommodating you may or may not have been in the past. You can bend over backwards and his lawyer can still say it wasn't enough. It's going to be more difficult to demonstrate that you are afraid of him if you willingly meet him whenever he demands it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by Santa 
How about just, "no"? He's pulling you into his territory where he has control.
By the way it doesn't matter what the possible custody issues are at this point. Nothing has been filed, it will be simply his word against yours as to how accommodating you may or may not have been in the past. You can bend over backwards and his lawyer can still say it wasn't enough. It's going to be more difficult to demonstrate that you are afraid of him if you willingly meet him whenever he demands it.
By the way it doesn't matter what the possible custody issues are at this point. Nothing has been filed, it will be simply his word against yours as to how accommodating you may or may not have been in the past. You can bend over backwards and his lawyer can still say it wasn't enough. It's going to be more difficult to demonstrate that you are afraid of him if you willingly meet him whenever he demands it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
He got pretty pissed when I told him I'd meet him over there with her. He also said that this stress wasn't good for him and making his lymph nodes in his armpits swollen (his cancer may be back, and last time they said he got cancer from stress.) . Quack.
I'm going to see if i can file a protective order and temporary custody.
I'm going to see if i can file a protective order and temporary custody.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You're doing the right thing.
Let the courts sort it out - he's too unstable for you and your daughter to be around, seriously.
This is the time when they become most dangerous.
I wouldn't even be living somewhere that he could find me. I'd be in protective care with DV professionals. This is no joke. I had a childhood friend murdered by her husband at precisely this point in their relationship. He shot her beside her parents' pool. It's all about control for him, and you've taken it all away.
Be very careful.
Let the courts sort it out - he's too unstable for you and your daughter to be around, seriously.
This is the time when they become most dangerous.
I wouldn't even be living somewhere that he could find me. I'd be in protective care with DV professionals. This is no joke. I had a childhood friend murdered by her husband at precisely this point in their relationship. He shot her beside her parents' pool. It's all about control for him, and you've taken it all away.
Be very careful.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
given the amount of firearms he has, the new gun ordered and his wierd, wild accusations statements, I do not think you are over-reacting. Please be sure that you mention all of this when you file. AND that he made statements regarding you "offing him" in front of your young child.
he is paranoid for a reason, but you just want to keep your daughter safe and protected. That is your focus, not some silly reason.
he is paranoid for a reason, but you just want to keep your daughter safe and protected. That is your focus, not some silly reason.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by Blossom717
I'm filling out the protective order/temporary custody papers. I feel horrible. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, then I feel like I'm overreacting.
You are not wrong and you don't have to justify anything. You are doing the right thing to protect yourself and your daughter. Big hugs. You are so strong.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
Ladyscribbler- My mom did go through a similar situation, and that is probably why I have hesitations. I went to the magistrate like the sherriffs office told me to do. They told me to go to Juvenile court to file. I ran out of time before I had to be back at work. So I guess I'll go tomorrow and stand firm like hopeful said.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I feel horrible. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, then I feel like I'm overreacting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
If you can, stop second guessing yourself. If you are wrong later then you are wrong. In the mean time keep you and your child safe. I would rather feel safe knowing I am doing everything I can to protect my child.
Worry if you over reacted later, now is not the time. Trust your instincts. You know him and what he is capable of. Go with that!
Worry if you over reacted later, now is not the time. Trust your instincts. You know him and what he is capable of. Go with that!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
Please do not meet any of his family members at their homes! Things can go really ugly, really fast. I wouldn't put it past anguished family members to call the police and try to have you arrested. Since you are on their property, it looks really bad.
I would let them visit her in a public place.
Sue
I would let them visit her in a public place.
Sue
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