FireSprite

hey meg, I know you've read many of us hear talk about how very often the verbal abuse our qualifiers Quacked Off with actually held a lot of truth about their own hidden self-hatred & feelings about themselves internally.

I got to a point where when he would say "You-you-you" I could trick myself into hearing "I - I - I" and then his comments actually made sense!!

If he said, "You're a negative person to be around", then I heard "I'm a negative person to be around"... and that was 100% accurate. Stunningly accurate sometimes. A lot of truth coming out of his mouth, yep - just misdirected truths.

As for the remotes.... well, living in a glass house has taught me to NOT throw stones..... A

Argnotthisagain

Definitely, what they hurl at you is really what they feel about themselves...but it's so hard for us to get that. I mean, how is it possible to be that irrational, self-deluded, all that stuff! It just doesn't compute!

I wonder if you can tell your lawyer you have to do something... BEFORE you tear out your last hair? It's easier to speak strongly for yourself *before* you've gone over the edge.

dandylion

meggem....maybe, he is, unknowingly (of course), helping you to reach your "botttom".

Maybe, just a strangely wrapped present......?

dandylion

meggem

someone else told me to rip out the little strip/tab that is inside the battery case and give them back.

FeelingGreat

Way to go!

FeelingGreat

I feel he is doing you harm, mental harm which is impacting on your health. I have a couple of suggestions you can take or leave;

- call the DV hotline and see if you can get some DV counselling; hopefully they have a firm grasp on what can and can't be done, and at least you'll be talking to someone. Even if it's only a phone call at the moment.
- do you have a family doctor? Schedule an appointment, show him/her examples of the text messages and talk about how the stress is affecting your mental health. Ask what support they can give you if you need to go to court.
- I'm sure his family is getting sick of him, rather than you. Tell them you don't need them to do anything, but you want to put some of his texts out there so he doesn't think they're between you 2. Show them the worst.
- Don't take your lawyers word for it, do some research for yourself, even if you talk to the police directly. I called them once and had a discussion with them about a neighbour who was sexually harassing me, and although they didn't do anything legally, they did talk to him, and it stopped.

It's times like this we miss Jersey Nonny who was an expert on these situations.
Thinking of you meggem.