hmm...
 

So this past week I have been doing my thing, I have been going to the gym after work when I want, things like that.

ABF has started doing his own thing again too, which means going over to his buddy's house (aka drinking buddy) to work on his boat, or whatever. I can see him slowly going back to what he was doing before. I'm mostly okay with that, its his choice. But part of me feels responsible, like if i were home the whole time maybe he would stay at home. But then my sanity returns and i realize that he will do what he wants, no matter what I do. So I will just keep doing my thing.

I'm a little stressed out about it though. I'm going to the gym tonight to work some of that off. I stayed home last night because he seemed to want to hang out which would have been fine. But he didn't show up until 8 and was very into telling me how great he was....which is something he does while drinking.

So...that's it I guess. I'm trying to focus on me. I'm not really worrying myself too much with his business, but I am trying to remain aware of it since we are still at home with him.

Baby steps. You can't prevent him from drinking. Taking care of yourself is the right thing to do. ((hugs))

I stayed home last night because he seemed to want to hang out which would have been fine. But he didn't show up until 8

your being there or not being there has NO affect on his choices. you stayed home THINKING he wanted to spend time with you, but alas he had other plans. he is going to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless.....

so let's work on diminishing your default GUILT response! when we feel "guilty" for not doing the right thing that we THINK could have changed an outcome, that's really our EGO talking. i am so powerful over others, if i would just do the RIGHT thing i can control what they do, think, feel and act. because of course i know FAR better about how others should live their lives then they do themselves!!!!

now mind you when we see someone juggling live chain saws, we think to ourselves, you know that really is NOT a very wise choice! any more than the guy who puts his head in alligator's mouth! or drinks so much they p!ss themselves. but those people, places and things are NOT in our control. we can only make sure WE grab the right end of the chain saw, and keep our heads out of large, many toothed animal's mouths, and keep our wits about us enough to find the loo!