MAGW

Haven't been keeping up in reading posts, but thinking about this group of all of you tonight as I prepare for my RABF/XABF to come home from a treatment program tomorrow.

He was allowed communication and everything I received sounded pretty life changing. 'Im not the same person' 'this is the hardest and smartest thing I've ever done in my life' 'I want everything there is in life here to be mine.'

I broke up because I had had enough after 4 years. The breakup was seemingly his rock bottom as he decided to do this himself.

I am trying to not have expectations of him or what is in store for us, but yes, I am extremely hopeful. Is that normal? Is it ok? Is this normal talk for RA's early out?

I will say this was not a traditional treatment program and is supposedly very effective. It targeted both the alcohol addiction and the emotional triggers behind it. It was aversion therapy for the alcohol, and sedation hypnotic therapy and individual and group sessions for the emotional trauma triggering the drinking.

I guess I am just asking for some prayers that this might be a true recovery.

jessiec

Whatever you are feeling is perfectly valid! And that he is sounding healthy and hopeful is encouraging. I will pray for you both!

NWGRITS

One day at a time, for both of you. Just remember to stay on your side of the street. Sending good vibes your way.

allforcnm

Yes I think his attitude sounds hopeful and positive as it should be. Facing the challenges of home, work, etc is he next hurdle but one step at a time.

My prayers are going up for both of you tonight.

FeelingGreat

I hope it all goes well MAGW.

MAGW

Thank you all for the encouragement - nice to wake up to!

love4menotu

Hi MAGW-

When my bf came home from rehab I had been attending Alanon, so I had some tools in my toolbox to handle my side of the street.

I did find myself reacting emotionally a couple of times, quashed it back down by talking to my sponsor. Now, these issues were mainly about my own insecurities, outside of my boyfriend. Amplified by the emotional situation I was in.

When I felt myself "reacting" I would literally sit with the feeling. Taking no action. If it resolved itself within a few hours, I knew it was my baggage. If it did not resolve, I talked to my sponsor or my bf about it. So far... I want to say we have talked about those issues probably 3 times. And we resolved them.

My bf is an exceptionally logical man, and a good one. He does not intentionally try to hurt me, and I trust him, but this is something I have never lost in him, was that trust. He told me he was sick, he told me he was going to stop, he told me he would get help. And he did.

That's the facts, Max. That's what is working for us now, tomorrow may be a different story. But right now things are good.

Hugs..

L

Just one other thing... I told myself that as an adult I had the right to change my mind. If I did not want to be in this relationship, I would not. We have the RIGHT to change our minds about anything.