Two years later!

Old 08-13-2014, 09:33 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Two years later!

I haven't checked in here in about a year! I went back and referred to my last post, and it sounded just like what I'd have to say today! So I'm changing only the time elements!


I haven't posted in forever, and it's likely no one here remembers me ... But I was an absolute mess two years ago. I was dating an active alcoholic from a family of alcoholics and enablers. Having no alcoholism in my life experience up to this point, I was completely out of my league. I could not understand why this wonderful, affectionate, funny, sweet loving guy could -- after a day of drinking (which he'd promise to stop and never did for long) -- could turn into this mean, loud, awful demon. One who slurred insults at me and literally kicked my suitcase out his door a night I was staying with him -- the day before moving into my new place, which also happened to be my birthday.

I had it. I was done with him, his apologies, his broken promises and my anxiety, agony and fear. I could not live that way any longer. I gave everything to God. It hurt like hell, as he was someone I cared for deeply. I spent the first few nights in my new place bawling on the floor.

Fast forward to more than two years later ...

My once ABF is now my RABF -- he made the decision to get sober, find a sponsor, work the steps. He has turned his ship around (this while his family has not changed at all) and he has celebrated his two years. People do recover every day -- this web site says it and, Praise God, it is true!

We still are far from the perfect couple and perfect people. Two years of growth has showed us many more areas where more growth is needed! I used to think if he could just stop drinking everything would be fixed -- and it's absolutely better ... But our work is just beginning. I never believed I'd ever say this, but I'm so glad to have gone through this. This testing has brought me closer to God and who I want to be.

It is my sincere prayer for everyone here to keep the faith. That being said, please do not accept (or subject your children to) unacceptable behavior. I never would have found a better place, had I not broken free to find it. I was able to have a second chance at happiness with an alcoholic, but I would never -- ever, ever, ever -- accept another chance at hell with him.

Much love,
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:45 PM
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Seattle suburb
Posts: 88
Thank you Jessie! Exactly what I needed as I prepare for my ABF/RABF comes home from a treatment program tomorrow, not knowing what is ahead, and if hope is ok or not .
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:58 PM
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MAGW, wishing you both a smooth transition and best wishes!!!
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Old 08-14-2014, 06:16 AM
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Thanks for posting Jessiec. I needed to hear a success story today. Hoping my AH finds the same path as your RABF.
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Old 08-14-2014, 06:25 AM
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Thanks Jesse. I see glimmers of hope everyday, which is how I'm able to stay sane. My RAW is at 90 days. She looks great, says she feels great and is working hard on the steps. I'm attending meetings and working the steps as well. It's tough, but I look forward to the day I can say it was all worth it.
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Old 08-14-2014, 07:10 AM
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Beautiful post. I needed this.

In my case this is another reason not to go back.
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