Dalloway

Hi all,
I'm just listening and reading and trying to find my way. I have been coping poorly with my A husband. I am angry all the time. I want to thank you so much. I hope to feel the rebirth and strength I hear in you, and learn a healthier way of coping.

I have an 8 yr old boy and a 1 yr old girl and I'm in a lonely place. I think it's been harder with the baby and the fact that it's not just me and my son kicking around when my spouse is drunk. You may ask why I had a baby with this guy. I feel guilty for bringing her into the world some days and making our situation more difficult if I want to leave him, but I love her so much. She is a joy and long wanted.

I have been so bitter so long, a parenting-working angry machine who gets through the day, at best, and yells a lot. I don't want to be like that anymore.

lojomama

Dalloway...
I have 2 sets of kids, teens & little ones (a 4yr old son & 6month old[today!] girl). I recognize the way you feel. Never ever feel guilty having your daughter, children are a gift from God, no matter what the situation!! He knew that you needed each other, just as I needed mine. I know that having kids does make it harder to be in these situations, especially when you feel the need to go. But... my kids give alot of meaning to my life, they give me something to focus on when things w/my AH are bad. I also understand the need to not be who you've been... bitter/yelling alot, it has affected my kids in the past, I try to detach, as many have mentioned here. It is difficult, but w/help from your HP, it is possible to get to a sane place for yourself, where you can walk away from the temptation to lash out.
I'll be praying for you...

reader

Welcome Dalloway, I am glad you found us!! I know all too well how it is to feel bitter. Just know that there are alot of us here for you. I would suggest you read as much as possible. The sticky notes on the top are very helpful. I will write more later as I am just making dinner now.

robina

Welcome.

There is hope and help. You will find comfort and understanding here.

You don't need to suffer from the effects of this disease. We family members can follow a plan of recovery to find peace of mind even if the alcoholic keeps drinking.

keep coming back.

Robin

guyinNC

Its O.K. to get angry...just don't stay that way.

Just show the kids you Love them...Do what you have to do to protect them.

I hope your husband finds the light again....sadly only he can find it.

Seeking Wisdom

Keep coming back ... there is so much understanding and insight to be found here. I first found this forum in a moment of extreme anger, despair and pain .. at a level I had never experienced before.

I have been married to an alcoholic for many years and the pain, frustration, and confusion just got worse over time. When I started coming here, things finally started to make sense, I felt calmer and my feelings validated. I realized I was not alone. To be angry and confused is a logical reaction to the irrational behavior of an alcoholic. I learned that I was really married to a very sick addicted person that could not be reasoned with and the importance of detaching from his irrational behavior. I learned that the disease of alcoholism is very, very difficult to recover from with a high relapse rate. I also learned that when my husband raged his anger at me, that he was really just responding to his own self hatred and needing to blame someone else for the mess he made of his life due to his drinking. I still get upset and angry but not as much as I would have if I had not come here. I have learned so much and it has helped me through so many horrible times. Keep reading and coming back.