Butterfly

I am sorry that was the reaction you received from friends but please don't keep it all inside that's no good for you. Come to SR and vent, ask questions, post when your upset any time you need to talk. We are here for you.

People being angry & upset with you is a reflection on them not you that's there issue.

Tansy

I was like you, swallowing it down, keeping up a good front, terrified to start a discussion that might end it for good, worried about what my parents would say, how the kids would react, ..it swam around my head night after night for 18 years. One day I woke up and I couldn't function any more. I 'd reached the end of the road. I'm a strong person. I've never even been depressed but I laid there and shook and I knew I could not suck up another ml of crap...I was done. Kids, parents, friends, none of them were living it. I was. I decided enough was enough. The good times, if there ever were any, had long gone. I had nothing left to save except myself.

NWGRITS

Divorce isn't the end of the world. It could save lives. Your well being and that of your children trumps an unhealthy marriage any day. Your kids are learning that this is how you're supposed to be treated in a relationship. That's deplorable. Focus on the important things. The marriage was done when he chose his addiction above all else. Alcohol is his first love.

yensid

You will find that people whose lives are not affected by alcohol don't understand. Here at SR we do. Al-anon too. I'm sorry you had a bad experience there. I get a bad vibe from one of the meetings I have attended and I most likely won't go back.
I have set a boundary with myself for talking about my situation with people who don't get it.
I can relate to being the "good one." This is my second marriage. No one in my family got divorced. I think my mom was jealous that I had the guts to get divorced and she never did until we were all grown. Although I didn't grow up in an alcoholic home, we have all the symptoms of it. So, now that my second marriage is an alcoholic one, I am seriously considering filing for divorce. Another divorce for the "good one..."
But your family doesn't live your life. Neither do your co-workers. Make decisions that are good for YOU. Never mind what they would think. (Easier said than done...I should take my own advice)
It sounds like your mom is very co-dependent as well. We learn from what we see.
I read Melody Beattie's New Co-dependent and am now reading Co-dependent No More. Amazing stuff. My picture is right under the definition in the dictionary I'm a nurse and take care of the littlest, most fragile patients. My parents constant arguing led to my codie behavior...the earliest I remember is 11 yrs old taking care of my newborn sister.
As for your therapist...she might be letting you make decisions by talking it out instead of giving advice.


You are not alone when you are here. Keep posting {hugs}